Ten Things I learned today from Ibukun Awosika at the first #tfdseries. Tara Fela Durotoye of House of Tara hosted a select group of women today at Otres Restaurant in Lekki. Over a 2 hour session, she gave frank, practical advice on managing spouses, frenemies, rebelling staff and paths to success. The Chairman-elect of First Bank Nigeria ‘took it to church’ and said and shared so much but this is a précis.

Special thanks to my partner in crime Stephanie Obi for inviting me!

1. Be Kind. She couldn’t stress this enough; being polite, respectful will get you much further.
2. Submit. There is an overall authority -your Creator; submit to His Will, ask for guidance, direction and act accordingly.
3. Marry wisely. Choose your spouse carefully for the YOU that IS, not the who you are pretending to be. “Rich and handsome? Who cares?”
4. Learn. Learn who you are, what makes you tick. Invest in yourself through education, courses, training, improve your skill gap. Build your credibility and your capabilities.
5. Money is Nothing. Money is useful in so far as what it can do for you, in and of itself, it has no value. It can be destructive in the wrong hands and at the wrong time. The pursuit of money should never be the overriding factor.
6. Failure is merely a transit to success. Decide that the lessons learned will allow for success at the next attempt.
7. Celebrate YOU. You came first, the girl with dreams, visions and hopes. “Don’t bury your self to become a wife”. Same rules apply when you become a mother.
8. Tough times bring growth. “Challenges are like bread” (and bread is for eating). You can only grow by being stretched. Embrace the tough times and get the lessons!
9. Friends are important. You must take those that matter along with you on the journey. Make time, meet up, build the group.
10. Die Empty. Make sure that when the time comes you have, you are “devoid of talent” having explored every single strength.