Why build a tribe? Simply because synergy is a whole that is more than the sum of its parts. You can do so much more as part of a collective than you could achieve on your own. I’ve outlined the key members every ‘Tribal Head’ needs.
The Mentor
Colleagues are a wonderful thing — but mentors, that’s where the real work gets done.” — Junot Diaz
You need a mentor for success; someone you look up to who’s further along in the journey than you are; someone who can guide, encourage, and assist you. The most successful people have mentors; Oprah had Maya Angelou, Zuckerberg looked to Jobs for guidance on successful team building. When you can’t see the wood for the trees, when you need the benefit of a ‘long gaze’, that’s when you check in with your mentor. Your mentor keeps you accountable, keeps your grounded and because it’s someone you respect and admire, serves as a compass- “what would X do?” -in decision making.
What is a NOT a mentor?
While we are here, best to clear up a misconception about the role of a mentor- a stranger cannot be your mentor so unless you have Aliko Dangote on speed dial, he can certainly be a role model, but he’s certainly not a “mentor”.
So that’s the first person you need for a successful tribe. It’s likely (and recommended) that your mentor is a busy person who you will most likely check in with on a schedule. Day to day, you will require peer support and the other members of your “tribe”
The Cheerleader
There’s a reason that Heroes said “save the cheerleader, save the world”.
This person is your ego masseuse, your chief. supporter. Report here for a full court press; this is the emotional equivalent of showing up at your fan club. Have a conversation with this friend and you’ll be swishing your superhero cape for days- ready to take on the world. It’s not all uncritical adoration from this friend- she’s developed a tactful way to tell you when you’re wrong and will call you out in a way that is effective but kind.
The Skeptic
This is the person you go to when the euphoria from the cheerleader has worn off. You’re best off having all your ducks in a row, projections done, ego well parked PLUS Plan B fully outlined. This person will force you to go over the fine print before you execute. This is a great skill and anyone who can fill this role for you is a ‘keeper’. Embrace the challenges to your way of thinking and resist the urge to go on the defensive. Your idea will be much stronger and better off if it survives this test.
The Connector
You know how the concept of 6 degrees of separation gets touted around? Well, this connector has about 0.6 degrees from everyone you could need to know and has them on speed dial. Most connectors do it from a place of love and from the joy of making synergistic magic happen. Go to this person when you need that meeting scheduled, that contract approved, that cheque signed, and watch them make that critical introduction. A caveat here, this person hasn’t made and kept all the connections by being a time-waster, you need their buy-in too otherwise you’ll receive a ‘connection’ but it will be to someone lower down the power structure. With buy-in from a connector you will have an influential advocate that can push your business and idea in the right circles.
The Confidante
Everyone needs a safe space, the assurance that whatever is shared won’t be repeated. This is where you share how you feel petty for hating on your best friend’s 2016 Range Rover/Banana Island house/3 carat ring and it’s understood that you do love your friend and that your angst stems. more from your personal disappointment on not achieving your goals. This person genuinely listens, provides thoughtful insight and won’t reveal your secrets to a soul.
The Collaborator aka “ride or die”
This is that person you know is up for a road trip at the drop of a hat. The person you can see yourself growing older with and continuing to wreak mayhem in your respective fields. Your joint laughter earns you death stares in public places and you finish each other’s sentences. You’ll often find yourself not telling this person about third party slights because she will take them very personally on your behalf! This person will go to battle for you and even WITH you if he feels that you are the one standing in your way!
It’s worth mentioning that your tribe may well have people with overlapping roles. My sister is my confidante, my collaborator and will very often don the cheerleader hat! The lesson here is about surrounding yourself with people on the same journey as yours.
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together
