Life and times of my beloved brother, Olumide Adedara; with Respect and honour — Tolu Adedayo

I write this with great sadness over the unimaginable loss of my brother and best friend to cancer. He was 26.

He fought a brave and strong battle for months but the cancer would not allow him to get better. he took each day in stride, never really complaining, always feeling strong and always hoping that the treatments and prayers would finally end so he could get on with his life. This was my hope too.

19 years ago, i was in primary 4. Then, a little boy like myself but lighter in complexion joined my class in primary School, Via Royal Diadem Nursery/Primary school in Igede Ekiti, Ekiti state. I welcomed him and made him my friend mainly because of our stature, we have almost the same small stature, short and as tiny as possible.

Just like every parent will tell their kids, that they were always the ones bossing and leading their various classes academically, but my case was different. A certain young and small girl named Bukola Alawada was bossing our class while I am second until Olumide came in that session to send her packing from the top of the class and also pushed me back to 3rd. My parents almost killed me for being an unrepentant olodo, I never came home with 1st position.

As soon as this light-skinned close to tiny boy came around, he changed the fortune of the boys in the class by catapulting himself into the 1st position with a record grade of 98.6%...class highest cummulative.

I worked hard to make myself relevant to this fellow small boy and I'm always the 3rd position in the class for the session, the position I maintained through the three terms until the girl occupying the second position left us for high school after completing primary 4...Strange ? Yes, but she left.

In primary 5, myself and my best friend now take the 1st and 2nd position each term with kunle otuyelu coming close at 3rd till we graduated in primary 6 and moved to the same high school.

Our common entrance into Federal Government college came in 2001 and we dusted it with olumide having a record highest mark in the whole LGA with 563, I was second here again with 523. kunle Otuyelu also came third with 514...after which we sat for and won the Scholarship via National Mathematics center, Abuja. We got #1500 every session in our junior secondary school for this feat.

Our bond has become so strong that we won’t leave each other, even on holidays. We would move from one end of the town to the other looking after each other. While we await our admissions into FGC Ikole, We also applied to Bobas high school ikere, as an alternative; We wrote the exam together, my friend came first again and I was second out of 166 candidates. We got scholarship to study from Jss1-3 with textbooks free and recommendation from the proprietor, Late Professor Ojo Olofinboba. But our eyes were set on resuming to Federal Government College, ikole.

September 2001, FGC failed to mobilize us for admissions and we had to be separated for a term. when olumide joined Okunsusi Jemiriye High school igede Ekiti where he bossed the class for just a term. And I was oppotuned to boss my own class at Eyemote Comprehensive high school Iyin Ekiti for that only term. The memories we shared during those periods are still precious to me and to all the friends we made in those schools during our very short stint.

December 2001 was amazing and beautiful, as we are preparing to resume to FGC ikole in January 2002. We had a lot of fun, in particular, we visited the famous fajuyi park in ado where we saw Santa Claus for the very first time as kids, we got gifts and all...and some people saw us on the local TV station.

19th January 2002, we resumed to Federal Government College Ikole, He was in Blue house while I was in purple...we tried all we can to push me to blue but it never worked. Our dormitories were just opposite each other, so we move. Times were beautiful with Olumide, a compassionate human being. I remember how I finish my provisions every first week of resumption. The week popularly know as the week of pride. (Ose Igberaga).

I was one of those foolish people that fantasize and exercise everything to suit myself during the week of pride, I will eat everything from my Cabin biscuits, to Ovaltine, olumide drinks Milo, but my mother buys me ovaltine. to my Cowbell milk and Nasco cornflakes, and all the bottles of Blackcurrant or orange juice my mother has packaged for me in a week.

Olumide is always annoyed and angry with this silly but childish behaviour of mine, he won't join me to eat my biscuits or anything...he keeps his stuff and by the visiting Day my brother is having up to 4set of provisions. I will be like...shuuo, are you returning them home ? And Yes....Olumide do return some provisions home for his younger brothers, Dotun and Damola. But me ? I manage to return myself home to my mother.

The funny situation is after I must have finished all my stuff, Olu still gives me full access to his cupboard and we still sleep on the same (his) bed. I runaway from my hostel most times, our friends and seniors can attest to this..Toluwase is always in Blue house.

In 2004, we completed our Junior NECO and we were home for 4months...during this long vacation, a lot of things transpired as we were away from each other for the longest time in over 6years.

September 2004, We resumed into the senior secondary school with our new set of uniforms, our trousers mostly bootcuts...as the trend at that time, Olumide came and with a lot of new and strange ideas as everyone started forming big boy from the 4months vacation...one of those strange ideas was He wanted to have a girlfriend because she likes the way the girl 'walks' ! Wawuuu

I was surprised, like...this boy will now be giving a girl his attention then mine will be at stake, I changed it. I said NO, it's not possible...How will you have girlfriend, when our parents sent us to study in school. I knew how boys spend all they have for girls at that time, you buy frames , you buy gifts, you buy Greeting cards and all. Where's the money ? So, olu wants to use the little cash we have to date one girl ?

I struggled to stop the process, I really struggled. But people like Oluboyede Nifemi, Wole Onifade, Fisayo Ayeni, Ige Nife and their co-horts were already in his planning committee, as Temitope Obafemi was one of the stenographers, They started writing letters and olu started staying back after 2pm to see one girl at the back of his class. I was so pained., I left his hostel, I moved on with new friends Esan Adebowale, Idowu funso, Seyi Babatunde (Seyi Babs) who was my seatmate at that time.

I refused to monitor the wooing process, I refused to even ask about who the girl was but I knew she was in Blue or Orange house. Someday, I just saw someone wrote a list of couples and I saw Olumide (midy) and Aanu Omoyajowo (Annex) . Immediately, I went to him, so it’s because of this girl that is having big head and no yansh that you are keeping malice with me ? His response was, You are the one keeping malice, I never exchanged you with anyone. I like the girl and we could even get married. I was like get married ? In Sss2 ? I wasn’t looking into the future or anything. I was Concerned about food, and the money we do save.

I forgave him and we moved on with our friendship, but I never liked Aanu Omoyajowo, I disliked her and say ugly things about her every time , I even claimed she was possessed because she do fall on the ground in our praying class of Engr C.I ALONGE, Jss 3F with some other members. (Apologies to Aanu) But my brother was unfazed and he never listened to me. Untill Sss3, when I became Aanu's classmate and her seat with Ajeigbe Tayo was right behind mine and my sweet friend, Diayi Precious. I started creating some interest just to like her. But she was and still a wonderful person.

I would never forget the glorious wednesday Night of Istanbul, Liverpool vs Ac Milan in the UEFA champions league final, olumide and I had a bet on odds. He supported Ac Milan for a win while I went for Liverpool. After an hour, Liverpool were already down to 3–0 and I managed to find my way out of the auditorium shamefully to source for what will be my breakfast on Thursday morning, as our breakfast was placed on bet. Nigeria Jollof rice and Boiled Egg (Eleyin). FGC peeps will understand the sound of the meal. Our friends, Elesaodo Tolu, Oluwagbemi Charles Jobi-fele, Famodimu folarin, Ayodele Bayode, Oluwaleye Ayobami will sure remember that night.

Surprisingly, Liverpool fought back. And it was 3–3, I returned gracefully to the auditorium with my voice on top, and when Andriy Shevchencko missed his final penalty, I looked for my friend and I shouted ‘Your breakfast’ is mine ! Eleyin for that matter. He didn’t argue, I collected the food and I made us eat together because I know how compassionate olumide was, if I had lost…he will give/get me something to eat, if not the said rice.

The stories will fill a book, if I'm to write on. After High school we went to different university, as my parents wanted me to study medicine and he picks to study Chemistry by himself. His Dad allows that autonomy, and till now Daddy is still as fantastic as that time.

He got admissions and I was still at home, Searching for medicine as if it was missing. But the truth is our bond never for once dwindled. We kept in touch for every moment. And he informs me of every situation he's passing through and I do same. When he was having it difficult with his relationship with aanu, I was making him strong and giving him hopes all will be fine, I was aware of every visits he made and every attempt and efforts to make the relationship work. Without undermining his partners efforts as well. But somethings are not just meant to be.

Olumide would leave OAU to visit me in UNAD, during session and while on breaks. We would tour The entire school in search of babe, but we hardly get any, we do this tour every time he visits...he couldn't find anyone close to Aanuoluwa in class and intellects.

After he Graduated From University, he was delayed for some months before NYSC, during those periods he was with me in my school as I was in 400L. He was later mobilized and posted to Ebonyi state where he served his fatherland meritoriously.

Olumide was a brilliant fellow, he taught me everything I know in Chemistry and hes someone I’m always proud of, I always want him for the best because he’s proved to be a best friend anyone would want to have as he kept supporting me in every of my endeavour. Despite the influx of people we met in our different journeys, we still held up the brotherhood union that started in 1998.

Returning from NYSC, He told me about wanting to switch to Food science and we started his post graduate admissions application in my room in UNAD, to his house and alongside another friend from high school, Oluwole Seun (FISH).

When the admissions came through, and he was preparing.. we did all together, from making payments, to shopping for clothes and sneakers as we heard these things are super expensive out there in SA.

Throughout his stay in South Africa, from his PG days to his MSC days...we communicate everyday. No one was ever busy to drop a message on Skype, BBM messenger or whatsapp. We do video calls every weekend before the premier league matches kicks off. How do I cope with my weekends now ?

When my mother died in 2015, Olumide gave me some massive support no one could match despite being out of the country. I appreciate every support I got from everyone else but I don't know the best possible way to appreciate Olumide. I have promised myself to stick with his family and help groom his younger ones into what we 've talked about In a bid to achieve their respective goals in life.

In September 2016, after he has travelled down to Dublin Ireland with his food science team to represent their school at the international food science conference, he called me to inform me his presentation was the best and he won Gold for his team.

On producing a healthy and nutritious drink named 'Shoki Nwa' from Sorghum and cowpea. I was happy on hearing the news, then he was to go shopping and get somethings home.

From there, there was a distress text on whatsapp..Hey bro I'm feeling like a knock on my left knee, I can't figure where or what it is. I replied with 'Use Robb' or something on it. You will be fine. We stopped talking about it till he returned to Nigeria in December 2016, and he told me that leg he talked about in Dublin is still paining him...wow, I was very surprised.

He went to visit his family in Ado after spending some days in my place in Lagos, but he returned to Lagos for Christmas last December as there were plans we had and with his then Girl friend (Debbie) whom we codedly referred to as Jagal people'...

On his return, his leg has changed and it's almost looking like obviously inflammatory. He was applying series of medications both from the medical and spiritual aspects as life is unfair, who knows where the pain could be from ? No one.

He managed the situation with his leg magnificently, and he still made his planned trip to the Internally displaced persons (IDP) camp in Durumi, Abuja. Accompanied by our closest female friend, Oni Victoria Adedayo (OVA).

There he trained them on how well to make high rich proteins biscuits from Sorghum and wheat. The news was on blogs and the pictures of his good works are everywhere. You wouldn’t know he has a pain on his leg, until he returned to my place in Lagos preparing to go and continue with his studies..

We both agreed that he visit a hospital in South Africa for a proper check up and test on what’s actually running through his leg, he got there and did the tests and the results was shown to me. It' was shocking and what was diagnosed caught me trembling, I was crazy ! He was transferred back to Nigeria on the instructions of his parents and for them to have a closer look on him and the situation.

Olumide fought, he fought really strong for months..We talked everyday and he kept assuring me he will be fine in no time. I was the only friend that was aware and it’s a situation that was discrete. He has that faith so strong that he will be fine and No reasons or cause for alarms. We prayed and we prayed, people and men of God interceeded from far and near. Olu was so strong, he was a fighter, a warrior, he was giving us strength when we were weak after no improvement, He was an inspiration to the end.

Even when he was placed on oxygen, we were still talking though I was back to Lagos and told me he should be off oxygen on Thursday 6th July, on Friday morning I kept chatting with him and his brother to know his state of health till around 4pm and I was still hopeful, I had told people to stop praying as there were a lot of repetition. I implore him and everyone to release their faith to work at that time. I already started believing he’s fine, I wasn’t in doubt, I was seeing it happening, I was saying it out, I was blessing the name Of God.

And around 10minutes to 12midnight Friday, I saw a call From an old friend and high school mate 'Fisayo Ayeni' who happens to be a nurse in the hospital olumide was recovering...I was shivering immediately the call came through, I was already thinking about the worst because Fisayo haven't called me in a while and I was aware she works in that hospital...so, when I picked the call she was already in tears !

I asked, are you at work ? Please what's the issue ? Update me ! Tell me ! I'm a man ! I will be strong, just tell me ! Then she said I should be praying that there's nothing impossible for God ! I was almost dead from within and after 5minutes she called to inform me of his passing. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I was rolling, I was crying profusely, I did till 5am and I set out on the road to Ado ekiti.

Olumide was an amazing champion, his death has now confirmed my mother's death as 'reality has beckoned.

Now my hope is that he rest in peace knowing he did all that he could and that his family though hard, will be fine. When we love people it’s so comforting to know that they will always be with us in our hearts.

I had composed a poem on his behalf as my tears won't stop dropping

REMEMBER ME :

Fill not your hearts with pain and sorrow,
But remember me in every tomorrow.
Remember the joy, the laughter, the smiles,
I’ve only gone to rest a little while.

Although my leaving causes pain and grief,
my going has eased my hurt,
and given me relief.

So dry your eyes and remember me,
not as I am now,
but as I used to be.

Because, I will remember you all,
and look on with a smile.
Understand in your hearts,
I’ve only gone to rest a little while.

As long as I have the love of each of you,
I can live my life in the hearts of all of you.

I miss you brother, and I’ll see you again,

By

Tolu Adedayo