“Oh my god Karen, you can’t just ask someone why they’re an Elf!”
- Mean Girls
This guide assumes you have at least a basic idea of what D&D is. If the words role playing game make you think of risqué bedroom antics, or the idea of choosing a race gives you flashbacks of signing up for that 10K fun run you regret, turn back now.
Instead, this guide is for people who have expressed an interest in playing D&D to their resident nerd of the friendship group, who then replied to them casually…
“well you gotta’ make a character then”
“Make a character? What?”
In D&D, you don’t win or lose. You role play a character and participate in hilarious antics and ridiculous shenanigans until you’re bored. Its a thousand times better than it sounds, trust me.
Role play?
Acting, I’m talking about acting. You will roll dice, however, to determine if the things you want to do are successful or not! But that all comes much later- baby steps, people. For now, lets just decide what race your character is. So choose one.
“Choose a race?”
Yep — basically your species in the world. Your race is the core of who you are; it determines your physical characteristics, how others in the world will react to you, plus any natural benefits or disadvantages you might have.
“I’m not sure what race I want to play as though, what if I get it wrong?”
Don’t sweat it! For starters, there is no wrong. Sure, there are differences, but they’re all pretty well balanced, and besides, this is a role playing game. Think about what kind of thing you want to be in this fantasy world, and go for it!
As for choosing a race, if you’re really stuck, think of a character you like from a book or film.
Like Gimli from Lord of the Rings? Boom, you’re a Dwarf!
Enjoy the idea of talking down to people, being smug all the time, and pissing around with bows and arrows in the woods? Easy, an Elf.
Enjoy the idea of being a cool outsider who can breathe fire? Also you kinda wanna fuck Eragon? Awesome, you’re a Dragonborn
DWARVES
Standard fantasy Dwarves. See: Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit.
Live to be around 400, hold grudges, slightly magical — like a Yorkshire grandad. Can see in the dark. Unlike a Yorkshire grandad.
Get bonuses to anything related to being “hardy” or stonework, earth, etc. Naturally tough, and get bonuses to saving throws against poison, poison based damage, that sort of thing. Basically, a super tough constitution and endurance. If in doubt, think Gimli.
ELVES
Standard fantasy Elf. See: every fantasy book ever.
Maybe a little bit less “ethereal” than you’ve seen in The Lord of the Rings, D&D elves live to be around 700, are slightly shorter than humans, and can’t stare into sinks to see the future. They are, however, real aloof, in touch with nature, enjoy mucking about with bows, etc. You get it. Hippies.
Quite magical, they get loads of bonuses to magic related saving throws and checks. Plus you get extraordinary sight and hearing. And you get to act super pompous.
HALF-ELVES
Like the idea of being a magical, bow-wielding, long-eared fae hippy? But you’re a bit of a special snowflake and don’t just wanna be a standard elf?
Half human, half elf. Best of both worlds. But, accepted in neither. Social outcasts, looked at with fear by humans and pity by elves. Good base for an anti-hero character perhaps? Oh, woe is me, no one likes me- fuckin grow up.
Get some benefits of being being elf, like limited darkvision, magic resistances, plus some of human your benefits too (extra versatility, that sort of thing)
HALF-ORCS
“As you can tell by the fact I’m reading a beginners guide to D&D on the internet, I’m not very tough in real life. Can I be tough in the game?”
I gotchu’ fam. Result of cross breeding between humans and orcs by either dark magic or… natural means, half-orcs are exactly what you’d expect. Big, tough, strong, angry, and so beautifully ugly. Get big bonuses to strength and toughness-y things. Feared/hated by the other races though. Can you imagine meeting one in a dark alley? You’d be scared too.
Tons of bonuses relating to combat, speed, weapons, etc. too. Constantly battling their “inner orc” to not lose control and fuck things up.
TIEFLINGS
Do you like the TV show Supernatural? Are you mad that your mates are making you play D&D instead of some kind of Supernatural RPG?
Hold your horses, check this shit out. Imagine a sexy human. Give it a tail, horns and red eyes. Dip it in paint. Give it a “bad boy” personality.
That’s pretty much it. Tieflings are humans who, at some point in their ancestry, their bloodline was corrupted by demons! So they look kinda like demons. Easy.
They get the kinds of bonuses you’d expect, like seeing in the dark, fire resistance, natural cunning, etc. However, pretty much everyone except other Tieflings are either terrified of them, or hate them, or both. Good luck making it through town without trouble.
Make good warlocks and sorcerers, cus’, you know, evil magics!
DRAGONBORNS
You like roleplaying? You into Eragon erotic fan-fiction?
Boy do I have the race for you. They’re like dragons, but people, alright? Don’t think too hard about it, you’ll be fine.
Scaly. No wings, but they can breathe fire/acid/poison, depending on their ancestry (once or twice a day at great effort).
Are devoted to their “birth clan”, to the point of putting the clan before themselves. Think tribal, honourable people. Get some damage resistance bonuses thanks to your scales, hashtag that sweet natural armour. All the common folk will basically assume you’re a monster, however.
GNOMES
Oh man. Gnomes. I fuckin love Gnomes. God-tier race.
Gnomes are cheery, silly and full of enthusiasm for all things. Think Dwarves, but even smaller, and with less Yorkshire inside them. But most importantly, they’re inventive. Gnomes make master engineers, alchemists, chemists and the like.
Get bonuses to sneaking, some magic bonuses, some engineering/mechanical skill bonuses too. Plus, they can make gunpowder and rifles and other wacky madness. Basically, Bilbo Baggins - another 12'’ + Doc Brown
HALFLINGS
Little people. Hobbits. Small-folk. You know, halfings.
Somewhere between a Gnome and a Dwarf, basically exactly like hobbits from the movies. Not lazy/dumb though, halflings are smart, cunning, devious and real sneaky. Make excellent natural rogues, thieves, etc. Or bards, cus’ they love playing instruments and 420 blazin’
They are stout, and get bonuses to resistance and health. Also naturally brave, and not easily frightened. Are super lucky by nature. and get bonuses as such omg plz nerf
HUMANS
Do you seriously need a picture or description of humans though?
Nah, for real, I’m not describing humans, piss off.
And there you go — all the races to choose from! Which do you pick? It’s up to you!
Perhaps you want to play a strong and silent half-orc, constantly battling his inner demons, or an aloof and elegant elf, in tune with her woodland home. Maybe even subvert expectations — a gnome with a thirst for revenge, or a dragonborn who desperately wants to get his catering business off the ground.
The point is, the choice is yours!
Join us in Part 2 where we discuss the most important element of who your character is: their class!
Images attributed where possible, and modified by myself to fit Medium — if you see your image and you want it taken down, please let me know.
