Unlock the Secrets to Daily Joy and Being Happier
Learn a Harvard professor’s weird trick for experiencing heavenly, long-lasting joy from the inside-out.
Dear friends, good evening! I am Tom Niklas, a seasoned writer and book reviewer. Welcome everyone to the Tom’s ReadVault, please subscribe to me and join us in reading 100 books a year together.
Today, I wanna share a bestselling book called “Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment”. Now they say this was the number one most popular class at Harvard, with over 1,600 students signin’ up every year. And most of them bring their grandparents, parents, the whole gang to attend together! The core message is how we can live happier lives. And I reckon that’s a question we all wrestle with — how do we get more joy up in here?
The professor who teaches the course, Tal Ben-Shahar, also wrote the book. He’s a big wig in the field of positive psychology.
Now here’s the crazy story of what set him on the path to studying happiness. Shahar grew up in Israel and was a squash player. His big dream was becoming the national champion. He trained relentlessly for it — starving himself, controlling his weight, practicing for hours and hours. And finally at age 18 he won the national championship tournament! Man, what an accomplishment as a young guy. You’d think he’d be over the moon with joy and satisfaction.
But here’s the wild part — later that night, alone thinking about his triumph, the thrill had totally vanished. In that moment he felt lost and kinda panicked. I achieved this huge success but I’m no happier? It made him realize outer victory doesn’t equal inner fulfillment. In other words, happiness ain’t about external stuff.
From that moment on he dedicated himself to uncovering the essence of true happiness and how people can find it. He read everything he could — ancient Greek philosophers like Aristotle, modern positive psychology pioneers like Martin Seligman. During his time at Harvard and Stanford he dialogued with all kinds of brilliant thinkers and creative types wrestling with life’s big questions.
So in the end, a fateful moment launched this talented young man into researching happiness, eventually writing this bestselling book. And I believe we can all glean powerful insights on living joyful lives from it.
So we heard earlier how Professor Shahar got into studying happiness. But after all those years researching, what were his main conclusions?
One key idea is that happiness is a skill, not dependent on outside conditions.
What’s that mean? Someone with a cushy life isn’t necessarily joyful. And someone in a tough spot can still cultivate happiness by sharpening their perception.
The book outlines mounds of research making this point. Let me give you a couple good examples:
First, how long after losing a limb in an accident before people bounce back to their regular happiness levels? Now losing a limb, that’s extremely painful and unfortunate. But studies find most folks are back to their baseline joy about a year later. Contrast that to lottery winners — how long does their high last before they sink back down? We’d assume hitting the mega jackpot would keep them elated forever! But research shows just a month after the big win, those folks go back to however happy they were before.
So whatcha think those numbers demonstrate?
They show external changes can’t determine lasting happiness. The key is building them happiness abilities — getting strong at perceiving life’s joys. ’Cause true happiness is really about sensing it, ya dig?
By perceiving skills I mean our capacity to notice and appreciate the good stuff around us. The opposite is going numb — missing out on joy even when it’s right there. With the same outer circumstances, someone with strong perceiving talents would feel more happiness. While someone numb might have it all and still feel unfulfilled.
Remember how over-the-moon ecstatic we were at Christmas as kids? What made it so special? Playing with cousins, new outfits, presents — good times, right? Well let’s recreate that party now — same clothes, cousins, gifts — think it would thrill you like back then today? Nah, ’cause those happiness muscles done weakened over time! We’ve lost that childlike perception.
So how can we keep strengthening our joy radar if it’s a skill we can build? Just like pumping iron builds your biceps at the gym, you can exercise your happiness.
When you build up those happiness muscles, you’ll unlock more bliss — and it won’t come from simply raking in cash or being high status or even physical fitness. True happiness comes from perceiving the little delights along life’s journey.
We just talked about how improving our perception is key to happiness. But how can we build our happiness skills and maintain joy long-term?
To address this, Professor Shahar introduces a “Four Quadrants of Happiness” model in his book. It divides life into four states based on two dimensions:
First — current level of happiness. Second — aspirations for the future. With these standards, we get four quadrants:
Quadrant 1 is folks happy now but expect a bleak future — think party animals living just for today’s pleasures without concern for consequences. These peeps are mainly hedonists — they’re thrilled at the moment but don’t consider long-term impact, so sustainable happiness is unlikely. Like those youngins always clubbing and boozing it up — eyes only on immediate fun. They feel pretty content living from high to high with no worries. But keep that up too long, the money dries up, health declines, and by middle age the downhill slide begins, often ending with nothing.
Quadrant 2 is unhappy now and expecting more unhappiness — basically failures or those who’ve given up. These poor souls are depressed in the present and lack hope for better days, so they’re drowning in despair. Dissatisfied currently and no ambition for improvement either. Life’s a grinding struggle and they’ve lost spirit to keep fighting, believing nothing they do matters. As you can imagine, happiness levels are low, just stuck in hopelessness.
Experts say severe depression often correlates with learned helplessness. That’s when life feels like one long dark tunnel with no light ahead signaling chances for joy. Everything seems pointless and you’ve got no motivation. Psychologists have an experiment demonstrating this called learned helplessness. What causes this helpless state? It’s acquired — learned over time.
For example, if you’ve known only crummy men, you may conclude there are no good guys left, or that in-law relationships inevitably sour. But with openness to learn and change, many situations can improve. If you give up trying though, you risk falling into learned helplessness.
Quadrant 3 is unhappy now but expects a happier future — think underpaid young workers tirelessly struggling, eyes on the prize ahead. These folks are driven battlers — dissatisfied presently after working hard with little leisure, but confident better days are coming from their efforts. So moderate happiness now, fueled by belief that tomorrow will be brighter. Psychologists call this enduring personality type.
But when stuck in endurance mode, life becomes a endless hamster wheel of unsatisfied striving. Get the blind spot here? If we’re always bargain hunting for that elusive future joy, we miss the chance for happiness now.
That leaves Quadrant 4 — both present and future happiness. Can it be done? If I’m working hard now to meet deadlines and prevent delays, will I feel joy in the process? And if I later gain a sense of achievement from the completed project and can vacation with family, won’t I enjoy that happiness too when it comes? So the skill is perceiving joys as they happen.
Ever feel nostalgic for the past — missing those college days, right? Can you actually travel back to relive it? No way. Or daydream about future adventures like world travel or endless vacations — can you instantly make that reality? Also nope. The only place and time you actually occupy is right here, right now. So if your mind is stuck reminiscing or fantasizing instead of sensing joy in the present, aren’t you squeezing the delight from current moments? Won’t they simply become more painful memories in your album of life?
Here’s another angle. Do you truly miss how happy you were in college? Or were you overwhelmed studying, stressed about tests, finances, or why richer classmates had it easier? Did you agonize over not having a partner while others paired up? Were you actually that content back then?
The four quadrants aim to show what mindset enables real happiness: savoring the now while still steadily building the future. I can work toward goals and simultaneously delight in the journey — that’s the path of fulfillment. I appreciate each moment fully aware of my existence — Buddhists call this mindfulness. The wisdom is learning to live present, not past or prospect.
As positive people, we should occupy Quadrant 4. Doing so requires maintaining present-moment mindfulness while still envisioning the distant shore ahead. Only with both can we secure lasting happiness.
From the earlier discussion, we understand happiness hinges on inner perception — not outer conditions. So how can we sharpen our sensing skills and boost happiness in daily life? That’s the focus of the book’s second half.
First, the author advises changing thought patterns so external events don’t easily disturb inner calm. He shares a great example: Imagine two people stuck in the same cramped elevator. One person is incredibly irritated while the other remains composed. Why would the same setting trigger such contrasting reactions? It’s because their interpretations differ.
So the key is how we view things. The outer world can’t truly control our joy — the real threat comes from our explanations about situations. Both Eastern and Western traditions agree here. Buddhism says “pain arises from within,” and Christianity notes “happier people in heaven outnumber unhappy souls in hell.”
Thus the author recommends maintaining mindfulness — promptly spotting life’s beauty rather than magnifying petty annoyances. He conveys this via the “parking spot test.” A crabby person fumes when they can’t find a space, while a chill one appreciates unexpected scenery spotted during the search. Adjusting perspective is essential for elevating mood.
Additionally, he emphasizes living in the now — as folks obsessed with goals often overlook present pleasures. Today and tomorrow require balance. So he suggests frequently asking “Am I happy at this very moment?” Only by savoring the current can past pains stop stinging and future dreams manifest. That’s the other key for raising happiness.
Through what we’ve covered so far, we’ve grasped the key ideas in this book “Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment”:
- First, happiness is a skill, not defined by outer conditions. We’ve gotta build our ability to perceive life’s positive stuff.
- Second, happiness has current and future dimensions. We need balance — actively engaging the present moment while still holding hope.
- Third, the core of cultivating happiness is shifting mindsets to prevent the outside world from disturbing our inner peace.
- And fourth, we must remain focused on living in the now — drawing joy from today’s many little delights.
These are all critical for boosting happiness and avoiding becoming slaves to irritation and complaint. I believe with these strategies, we can all lead more positive, cheerful lives.
Now I’d love for y’all to share your most recent experience of true satisfaction. Maybe a vacation, tasty meal, concert, or simple break? Please jump in and tell us about it.
Finally, I’ll preview that next session, I’ll be discussing the personal growth bestseller “Atomic Habits” which reveals how small habits transform lives and empower bigger achievements. I’m sure it’ll spark lots of insights for all of us. Well see you next time!
The last but not least, I share book reviews centered on family, personal development, mental health, and business finance — aiming to aid busy urban readers who wish to benefit from books but struggle to find the time.
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