Great story man. Two comments: First, I’ve found accidental near-death experiences so enlightening that I create semi-responsible near-death experiences by choice. Chuck Palahniuk wrote in Fight Club “only after we’ve lost everything are we free to do anything.” So ahandful of times per year, I’ll go swimming nude at night in the ocean by myself, far out past help. Sleeping in the woods in a hammock. Surfing. Once riding my bicycle with a blindfold and helmet, full-speed into a grove of trees, certain to crash.
Now that I’m married and own a company and people rely on me staying alive and functional, I’ve taken up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Deadly and/or permanently crippling moves are taught and practiced responsibly every single class. Training partners form a deep respect and bond. It’s one of the more rewarding things I do now as a man.
BJJ would be a great life skill for you, especially if you plan to hang out with the same group of friends who occasionally headlock each other and don’t understand what taps mean. And enjoy your rebirth!