In the life of humility and “remaining true to thyme own self”.
I’ve only have my own life experiences and failures,mini minimal success to base any kind of form of expression in regards to life. General.
Once when I was young I submitted to what I thought at that time “my church,my community” deemed as a social reformation,atonement as it may be. And the lesson I learned in being so dedicated to the process of “getting right” I failed to realize one thing. That people were going to line up out the door and down the street to take their turn on participation in takeing their turn in what is concidered the duty for the community to take their turn. Little did I know at the time that it was not only my. Rectification of wrong doing but also my responsibility to declare that my lessons were done being learned.
Little did I know their were two things I was unaware of and of course unbeknownst to me I had no idea not only the extent of the operation at hand but more so the thing that I struggled with the most of all is the history of the dedication from my community involvement. Still after all these years I’m humbled at the very thought of not only remaining humble but also accepting,still how I don’t understand the significance of me. Doesn’t even sound right writing it. Maybe one day I can or not,but either way I will not lie.i often wonder even after all those years did I give to much to what I thought at the time was the so called bigger picture?
My only answer is that everyday I live through what I don’t understand,and as everyday passes I still am reminded of the hole that was ripped through my soul. But was it all just a dream or all for a sick hidden agend? Friends are no longer existence.
So for the time being as an adult now I strive to be better everyday and keep my emotions in check. But most of. Coming to term that I’ll live the of my years alone. And that’s not that bad considering the life I’ve lived and things I’ve put myself through.
I pray for those that have hurt me farther than required only for their enjoyment,but none the less it’s still not my place to judge,thank Jesus for that. For they know not what they do.