Tom Harrison
Aug 26, 2017 · 1 min read

Welp. You made it. Welcome to the other side. I am a recent graduate myself, but I’ll show you what I have learned in the first 5 years of the rest of my life. 55 ain’t just the speed limit, if you catch my meaning.

First, move to Colorado or Washington or Uruguay. You will very certainly want to experience your golden years high.

Second, brace for your coming divorce. Just sayin’

Third, recall all of the work, effort, struggle, sacrifice you have endured for the first half of the game. It sucked, didn’t it? Now that you aren’t dead yet, you sure will wish you had saved more / had really forced at least one of your children to become rich before you pissed them off by being an irritant to them for 13 to 24 years.

Fourth, no matter how much healthy living, exercise and eating right you have done, you will slip on some god damned leaf on a rainy day and turn your head rapidly 1.2 degrees to the left and find that the increasing pain you have felt since then will result in your having to wear a cervical collar to bed for the rest of your godforsaken life. Oh, and might want to check with your doctor about that odd pain behind your right eye.

Fifth, silence is not golden.

Once your AARP membership dues are fully paid, I’ll be back to see how you are adjusting.

)

    Tom Harrison

    Written by

    30 Years of Developing Software, 20 Years of Being a Parent, 10 Years of Being Old. (Effective: 2019)

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