My Birthday Today. 36 and Almost 40 And Scared of Getting Old.


Lying with the kids to get them to bed. Started things off with a story about the Hulks. Maggie, having napped, took a while to get to sleep. Like me, she twists and turns and fidgets when she tries to get to sleep (why I think I have more patience for getting her down than Erin who falls asleep like a rock as soon as she hits the pillow.)

At one point, Maggie, after asking me if she could sleep in Erin’s office while she worked, turns and holds my hand. This still tiny little hand, gripping mine to make sure I’m there. Thinking she’s asleep, I try to scuttle out, and she squeezes harder, making sure I stay there with her.

This little bundle of trouble. Who cried and cried when she first came, keeping us up all night. Who, just earlier today, called me stupid and said she never wanted to see me again (because I took her harmonica away from her after she whacked me with it.) Gripping my hand as if her life depended on it, not wanting me to leave.

How can someone come into your life and cause so much trouble and make you love them so much?

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