HELEN, GET ME VIKRAM AT MEDIUM.COM ON THE LINE. VIKRAM, I SCREWED UP AGAIN. I WAS MORTIFIED TO JUST FIND OUT THAT GUY MARTIN WAS RECENTLY SERIOUSLY INJURED IN A SUPERBIKE CRASH DURING A RACE. I HAVEN’T FOLLOWED THE SUPERBIKE RESULTS FOR 10 DAYS OR MORE AND WAS COMPLETELY IGNORANT OF HIS CRASH. FORTUNATELY, GUYMARTINSHAIR IS INCREDIBLY RESILIENT AND IT ALWAYS HAS GOOD HUMOUR AND CHARM. WE STILL HAVE HIM SIGNED TO HELP OUT JAMES FRANCO ON THE SET OF PROMETHEUS 2, RIGHT ? YEAH, VIKRAM, FRANCO IS THE VILLAINOUS CYBORG AND FRANCO WANTS A SUPERBIKE NEAR HIS TRAILER ON THE SET AND SO I SAID WHY NOT SIGN GUYMARTINSHAIR TO MAKE SURE FRANCO SURVIVES HIS RIDING THE EXTREMELY TOUCHY AND ROCKETLIKE SUPERBIKE. NO, VIKRAM, GUYMARTINSHAIR CAN’T TEACH YOU HOW TO RIDE THAT HARLEY YOU GOT IN A TRADE WITH THAT VENTURE CAPITALIST. AS I TOLD YOU, IF YOU DON’T WANT VC MONEY THAT IS YOUR DECISION AND THAT IS THAT. DONE AND DONE. OH, I KNOW HOW WE CAN PLACATE THE WRATH OF GUYMARTINSHAIR. WE CAN GIVE HIM A RIDE IN OUR NEW EC-135 UP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE. HE WILL LOVE FLYING A LOOP OVER THE DONALD…IF YOU HAVE ANY GIFT IDEAS FOR ME TO SEND GUYMARTINSHAIR JUST DROP ME A MISSIVE. THAT IS ALL.

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