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LAURA, BE CAREFUL. BE VERY CAREFUL. STEP AWAY FROM THE CORN CHIP. HANNIBAL HAS BLAZING HAND SPEED. THOR HAS LESSER HAND SPEED THAN HANNIBAL THE CHEF AUTEUR OF CANNIBALS. EASY, EASY, NOW LAURA. HAND ME THE CORN CHIP. I WILL DISTRACT HIM WHILE YOU BEAT A HASTY RETREAT. CALL VICTOR DAVIS HANSON OF THE CALIFORNIA SPARTAN WARRIOR HANSONS. HE WILL GIVE US BRILLIANT TACTICAL ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS SUAVE AND SWIFT REPUBLICAN MONSTER. WHAT ? WHAT DID YOU SAY, VIKRAM ? NO, VIKRAM, IT IS NOT OKAY THAT HANNIBAL EATS ME BECAUSE I AM A RACIST. I AM NOT A RACIST, YOU BROCKTON, MASS MANIAC. I AM MISUNDERSTOOD, VIKRAM. OH, WAIT, VIKRAM. LAURA UNDERSTANDS ME. DEFEND ME, LAURA. TELL VIKRAM THAT I LOVE HIM LIKE THE ARGENTINES LOVE PAUL SINGER SEWING MACHINE ELLIOTT. TELL HIM, LAURA. HELEN, CALL THE U.K. AND GET ME GUYMARTINSHAIR. GUYMARTINSHAIR WILL DEFEND ME. WHAT ? HE IS BUSY TEACHING JAMES FRANCO HOW TO RIDE A SUPERBIKE ON THE ISLE OF MAN TT ROAD COURSE ? THAT CAN’T BE. THE COURSE IS NOT OPEN RIGHT NOW. LAURA, DEFEND ME AGAINST THE HURTFUL WORDS OF VIKRAM. NO, LAURA, I AM NOT AFRAID OF HANNIBAL. MY FLESH IS FAR TOO SALTY FOR HIS REFINED, MILAN CHEF TASTES. DEFEND ME, LAURA. DEFEND ME AGAINST THE OUTRAGEOUS SLINGS AND ARROWS OF THAT BROCKTON, MASS DEVIL, THE VIKRAM. WHAT DID YOU SAY, VIKRAM ? WE GOT A SWEET OFFER ON A CANDY-APPLE RED EUROCOPTER EC-135 ? AND THOR HAS THE SAME CHOPPER, ONLY IN VIKING STEEL GREY ? GREAT. SIGN THE OFFER SHEET. WE CAN DO AEROBATIC LOOPS OVER THE DONALD’S SIKORSKY AT THE FIRST STOP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE. STOP THAT HANNIBAL. I JUST ATE A BAG OF LAYS POTATO CHIPS. TOO MUCH SALT FOR YOU, MILAN MAN OF MYSTERY. WHO DOESN’T LOVE A GOOD MYSTERY, LAURA ? WHO INDEED.

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