Medium is Not a Content Producer, Medium is a Platform
Vikram
636

VIKRAM, I JUST GOT OFF BLOOMBERG.COM WHERE I READ YOUR RECENT INTERVIEW AND I MUST SAY I AM SHOCKED. SHOCKED AND SADDENED. LET ME QUOTE MATT MILLER OF BLOOMBERG : I WAS VERY IMPRESSED WITH THE SAVVY AND PRESENCE OF MEDIUM.COM’S CEO VIKRAM BABU. HE SEEMS POISED TO HEAD A VERY SUCCESSFUL IPO. I AM NOT AN EXPERT ON THE CURRENT IPO ENVIRONMENT BUT MY SOURCES SAY MEDIUM.COM SHOULD FETCH A VALUATION OF AT LEAST 1.4 BILLION DOLLARS. MR BABU SHOULD POCKET 12 PERCENT OF THAT, A TIDY SUM FOR A MAN WHO LIVES IN A CABIN UNDER A TREE. I ASKED VIKRAM ABOUT HIS PLANS, POST-IPO. WELL, MATT, HE REPLIED, I PLAN TO MOVE TO SILICON VALLEY AND BECOME A VENTURE CAPITALIST. AS A GESTURE TO THE COMMUNITY OF SOMEWHAT DELUDED MEDIUM.COM FANS, I WILL HIRE THOMAS BARTON JD AS MY HEAD OF CAR WASHING SERVICES DIVISION. LITTLE TOMMY BARTON JD WILL WASH ALL MY TESLAS. HE HAS THAT WHOLE WAX ON , WAX OFF THING DOWN PAT.” I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS, VIKRAM. AT LEAST FRIENDLY ENEMIES. I HAD HOPED YOU WOULD DONATE 325 BUCKS TO MY SUPERPAC AFTER THE IPO SO I COULD BUY THE YARD SIGNS I NEED FOR MY SHERIFF’S CAMPAIGN. I WILL PREVAIL IN MY LEGAL CHALLENGE NEXT JULY OR AUGUST OR WHENEVER. I AM NOT A STRONG APPELLATE WRITER BUT I AM GOOD AT GENERALIZED STRATEGIC THINKING. I HOPE TO GET LARRY LESSIG ON BOARD TO ASSIST WITH THE ENTIRE ENTERPRISE. I WILL RUN FOR SHERIFF AND I WILL WIN. I WILL NOT NEED TO WASH YOUR TESLAS FOR YOU IN SILICON VALLEY. I THINK. I AM PRETTY SURE. ON REFLECTION, LET ME START PRACTICING MY TECHNIQUE ON MY NEW FORD TAURUS LIMITED, WITH GREY LEATHER INTERIOR AND ROYAL BLUE PAINT. I CAN DRIVE TO CALIFORNIA IN 2 DAYS, TOPS. VICTOR DAVIS HANSON SAYS I CAN RENT THE COTTAGE ON HIS PROPERTY FOR A SWEET 900 BUCKS A MONTH. THANKS, VICTOR. I APPRECIATE THE KIND GESTURE. I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE BLOCKBUSTER BOOK ABOUT HOW YOU DEFEATED THE DRAGON THE DONALD. OH, WAIT , THE DONALD WILL DEFEAT THE REPUBLICANS AND HE WILL DO BATTLE WITH THE BERNMEISTER AND VIKRAM CAN GET SOME OTHER ALLCAPS, ANGRY YAHOO TO WAX HIS PRECIOUS TESLAS. (NOT AFFILIATED WITH GOOGLE OR GUYMARTINSHAIR.INC )ladies and gentlemen, we are doing our best to shut down this spam automaton but he is a resilient little bastard. please bear with us. that is all.

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