(We find ourselves onboard Jacques yves Cousteau’s “Calypso.” A devil dog is charging about the vessel) “Falco and Laban, gear up, gear up. We gots us a beautiful Octopus of Love at 18 meters. She is iridescent and animated. Gear up. Let me make sure my big red Ducati is properly lashed down. The Octopus of Love has been known to come aboard a vessel at night and make off with many a big red Ducati.”