I Call This Look

the ‘why does everyone stare at a dog driving a car?’

Colin Burns hates human interaction. Especially when queueing. His solution? Spaffing $10,000 on a hyper-realistic dog costume.

The dog costume has definitely reduced the amount of awkward conversations about sports or the weather. However, he’s experienced far more stroking by strangers. Also, and on a number of occasions, local police enforcement have stopped Colin on the way to the shops. He has quickly learnt that barking at police officers causes more trouble than it’s worth. Also — it’s a killer to steer a car whilst wearing hyper-realistic dog-paw gloves.

Colin is 36 and single. His favourite meal is meat. His breath is hot and smells ripe. He will growl if you get too close to him.