If you can picture it how good it was before, you can also picture it how good it’ll be tomorrow. Imagine. A great John Lennon song.
Life is bigger than you think. Never construct your future for you are not a fortune teller. No one is.
I had and still have a major anxious depressive disorder. For a while I also felt depersonalized. It was a bad trip alongside anxiety and depression. And I can remember how I felt at the time.
What helped me alongside medication was a discovery that I was able to love. Love. My wife. My kids. Everyone. I knew that if I could love I would have been free. And that was it. Love got me back to my veins, back to my bloodstream, back to my heart, my very bones. It happened like a wave.
Never again I felt depersonalized. There were these attacks of depersonalization, but they were shallower with each wave.
Your father is gone. I am sorry for for that. But the love for your father is not. Love him with all your heart. Cry. Remember that careless days. He took care of everything. He taught you what love is. Show it back to him. He is up there taking care of you. Love him. With all your heart. Give him a hug. Strong. Lasting. Love.
Love is the key. To what? To every door. Including yours with opaque glass.