Free To Be You?
The Plight of the Individual
We've all seen the movies, a character that doesn't quite fit the mould. Outcast by it’s community for being different. goes out into the wilderness where they meet other eccentric characters who accept them for who they are. But then the hero of the story feels a call back to their homeland. On their return they find the place in dire straits. Only they can help through their individuality. At the end of the movie they become the hero, they are accepted, even celebrated for their individuality.
Sadly it is much harder for the individual in the real world. Which seems odd as theoretically in the real world we are far more individuals than in the movies. But I see this as part of the problem.
Because we probably couldn't cope with all the gradations of peoples and personalities, we figuratively compartmentalise people into boxes and stereotypes. This means when we meet people for the first time we can access the lineup in our head and easily assign them a type. But this doesn’t always work
People have often commented I’m more individual than most. (Well, that isn’t quite how most of them put it, but it is probably the most polite way of putting it.) Though there were times when I took exception to this, as everybody wants to fit in. Now I actually embrace it, as it is the way I have been made, the way I have been wired. However, it has meant that I have more of a battle on my hands. As I am not easily put into a box, For instance; I am disabled, but I want to be treated as abledbodied, with my disability taken into account. I am a single man, but I want to work with children and young people (This shouldn’t be an issue, but for some reason it does.)I am an introvert, but I was brought up in a musical household so have an urge to perform (in fact there is a notorious story of me playing the lead role in Cinderella — and I am not talking about Prince Charming!) All in all I am hard to compartmentalise. I don't fit any mould.
As I say I am very happy with who I am, but there was a time when I wasn’t, but this was mainly because I didn't really understand who I was. I didn’t understand who I was because of the eight years of bullying I suffered. I believe part of the reason for that bullying was that people found it hard to define me. They did get me.
When we get to a few years ago, I had the help from friends and family to sort through all the issues that were clouding who I truly was. The problem with having other people involved in helping you discover yourself is that they don’t know when to stop. It is like having a team help you carve a sculpture with any sketch for them to go by. You know the image that you want to come up with, but you can only tell them to stop when you know when it’s right. By this time the sculputor helping you has his or her ideas on the section they are working on based on the uniformity they are used to.
Due to this I had to take myself away from them for a few months to do the finishing touches. When I returned I was more accepted by people than I ever was before.
However, there were still those that felt, and probably still feel that there is still work to do. The difficulty is because I am certain of who I am now I stand up to it, for who I am. I have realised over time that these people have the misguided view that the reason I stand up to them is because there is still work to do. I believe the reason the believe this is because I don’t fit into anyone in their lineup.
People seem to be all for the individual as long as that individual fits a type. But in the end we are hunan being, we are complex being. Due to this not everyone is going to fit the mould, but maybe these are the people we should be learning from. Rather than try and make them conform, maybe allow them to be who they are, because it just may be through that individualism that they have the skills to change the world!