Sep 26, 2021Adventures in the Kitchen (a bloggy sort of post): Pear Butter … or not.I’ve decided to treat my Medium account as if it were a blog — at least from time to time. I was going to start a new blog, but then I realized I have this platform already set up — and a few followers — so why not. These bloggy…5 min read
Aug 24, 2021Where Is Home When the Heart Is Two Places?I live in a beautiful place, near the people I love most, but this space doesn’t feel quite like home. I was a little girl in the East, then grew up mostly in Colorado, and returned east — to New York, specifically — in my mid-twenties. I lived there for…Mwc Space18 min read
Aug 18, 2021My Old Identity Is Dead. Now What?For seventeen and a half years, I had a clear identity. I was Professor Payne. But recently, that identity died. I killed it. There is a difference between loss of someone — a loved person or pet — and the loss of a cherished dream or desire, just as there…Mwc Death15 min read
Oct 18, 2019Don’t Look for Love, Look for Your SelfThe Lonely Cottonwood Model of Happiness Because I grew up where the Great Plains meet the Rocky Mountains, there is a powerful image in my mind that has become a useful metaphor for me. Occasionally, on that western prairie, where the land begins to buckle and roll instead of lying…Self5 min read
Jun 5, 2019Arkansas TravelerI grew up in a family with a built-in schism. My mother, the older child of a former concert pianist and a professor of mathematics and astronomy, was raised in university towns, first New Haven, then Athens, Ohio. While not remotely wealthy, her family was comfortable. They were cultured, proud…Family11 min read
May 27, 2019Member-onlyIn Another Universe, I Said YesWho would I be holding now if I’d held you then? — The choices branch: Each “yes” in one universe becomes a “no” in another. Each “no” becomes a “yes.” So, how did I get here, holding my infant grandchild? Let’s say that the night I was in his arms — I was 18, he was 23 — and I didn’t have…Human Prompt3 min read
Dec 16, 2018Meditations on “Home”Meditations on “Home”: Woods and Meadowlarks My little-girl years, those formative ages between four and ten, were during the sixties: I was a tag-along baby boomer. During that time my family — my parents, my older sister, and I — lived in Pennsylvania. I remember moving there (in a few…Home11 min read