TEXT ME BACK NOW!

I have an issue with people who don’t text back reasonably quick when we’re communicating via instant messenger, particularly those who text others first then go radio silent.

There, I said it. Feels like lifting a rock off my chest and this is coming from a guy without any particular inclination to lifting weights or any form of working out for that matter.

People have become TOO good at making up reasons for not texting back within a reasonable amount of time but almost all of them are just empty excuses. How do I know this? All of them boil down to “I have been really busy, couldn’t text back”, You know what part of the excuse they conveniently leave out?

“Also after I was done I completely forgot that you sent me a message. Oh, and I am too ‘Unbothered’ to check for messages after I’m done with important work”

The result of that shit is you texting me back four hours after you received (and probably read) a message from me, and its four hours only if all the planets align, the sun switches to disco light mode and you’re bored by it all. Four fucking hours of me getting increasingly agitated as I go back to the messaging up with increasing urgency to make sure it is not me who is leaving your royal ass on hold. Hours of me wondering what could possibly have gone wrong with your messaging app that you’re still trying to fix! Hours of my usually rational thoughts constantly sidetracking to bliss inducing images of me lifting you by the neck and body slamming you against a board of nails.

I’m just gonna be honest here, the only reasons I’d ever understand for you not texting back within a few minutes are;

Your phone died.

You ran out of data.

You just had a baby.

Your wife/husband left you.

You were paid good money not to text back.

Anything else you com up with is bullshit. You were at a funeral?, wedding, public event, meeting at the office, teacher-parent conference, kissing a client’s ass? First off, your phone should have been off unless you are among the organizers of the event. Second, you just texted me fam! How hard was it to add “Kinda busy now, I’ll text back later.” Just seven words and I no longer want to murder you! How cool is that?

Why an I so angry?

Shit is disrespectful. First lets make one thing clear, no one is that busy. The busiest people in the world take several breaks between hours of rest, and I’m talking people who are actually doing things to change the world and shape history, people whose work impact millions, people we look up to, people we hope to be one day. Mark Zuckerberg has a phone and he’s always texting in public on working days. Barack Obama wouldn’t let go of his precious blackberry while he was literally running the world, who the fuck do you think you are? What is it that you really do, hold the Earth to its orbit lest we’re flung to deep space and die of cold?

Bitch please!

When you don’t text back in time its a clear message about your priorities, I’ll not ask where I stand in your list, I’ll simply go to that place and treat you like shit back.

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