Love For The Very, Very Least Of These

On a very intense day recently, I was triggered into particularly horrific flashbacks of my childhood abuse.

Mommy and daddy didn’t simply yell at me once and a while, jarring a fragile ego. I was literally tortured by my mom from infancy to the age of four and a half, and was nightly molested (and often actually raped) by my dad from the age of three, through the age of four and a half.

I was finally hospitalized for six weeks in the middle of my 4th year. At that point, the bruises, scars, welts, and sexual injuries (not to mentioned the glaring 3rd degree burns that hospitalized me at the time), plus the forthcoming of several witnesses, got my parents arrested, and me put into the foster system. I have multiple scars, court records, and 5 foster families to show for it.

So… back to the recent day in mention… I was driving along a road I frequent, when I was suddenly struck with unbearably vivid recall.

As I began to become overwhelmed with emotion, to the point where I could no longer maintain my composure, traffic suddenly bottlenecked and stopped near the middle school.

I was quite concerned about being trapped with people in close proximity on all sides, while I was in such a powerfully emotional state of mind.

The Lord had already prompted me to turn on the radio, which by His grace I did. And at that moment the song “Great Are You Lord” came on the radio, and powerfully moved me to worship the Lord amid the poetic anguish of my heart.

Of course, I ended up missing the light in the very front of the line, so that everyone from all points of the intersection could see me.

But by then the Lord had so enraptured me in Himself and in His love for me, that I was able to simply be free, drumming with modest abandon on my steering wheel, as I worshipped my True Abba along with the song…

And just as I was drawing attention, amid my transparent, childlike delight with Abba-God; the crossing-guard and I recognized each other (though people are all often ubiquitous to me outside their relational context).

So the wave we gave each other (she is from our church) made everyone at the intersection take what looked clearly to be amazed notice, that this long-haired, steering-wheel drumming, unusually transcending dude, is not un-liked by people of respected standing…

God had made sure that I saw a friendly face from one of my New Family members, and in so doing, He let me know that I don’t need to be ashamed anymore…

And at that moment, the crescendo of the song saw the light turn green, as I was conducted into the wonder-evoking symphony of circumstantial orchestration that the Lord is accomplishing as His, “I love you”, .

For now we experience the glories of that love in limited but growing measure, according to our faith as we mature…

And very soon, because of faith in Jesus, we will be able to experience that perfect, unconditional love which is already ours, with continuous and perfect delight…

And in that love we will perfectly, reciprocally delight God and others with His heart-filling and transforming love, by His indwelling Spirit — Who is our forever well-spring Source …

Soon we will donn our incorruptible bodies, entirely in sync with the perfect love/will of the Sovereign God!!!

Praise God for adopting this formerly love-starved child. Praise God for His unfathomably intimate and absolute love — for the very, very least of these.