Chronic Illness, Emotional Pain, & Healing

My thoughts today lead me to discuss with you the effect of forgiveness as a tool for healing chronic illness, pain, and seizures. Read on and discuss, in the comments below, your thoughts on utilizing forgiveness practices to help your body and mind heal.

I’ve gathered evidence through my life that leads me to believe it is safe to say that every human between the ages of 12 and 15 finds first love, what they may consider true and lasting love. The cruel joke right around that time is that is also when most heartbreak is first felt. The heartbreak that is so deep, the scars do not heal easily and, for most, do not heal at all. It is during this time that most cases of chronic illness become commonplace in one’s life. I believe this is due to the stress of the event of heartbreak, the memories we hold on to, and the unforgiveness that dwells within us, for the rest of our existence. As adults, we do our best to cover over the sore spots and claim ourselves healed from the heartbreak and we move on to the next — similar — relationship. The baggage we carry with us is often filled with the emotional heartbreak not yet healed, beginning a cycle of unhealthy decisions, toxic relationships, and chronic illness. The good news is, this cycle can be stopped when we choose to really begin a true healing process.

Now, what does forgiveness have to do with chronic illness, pain, and medically uncontrolled seizures? One word — Emotion! Studies have shown as we allow our minds and bodies to hang on to painful toxic emotions, chronic illness, pain, and seizures increase. For most of us, our emotional pain begins in the pre-teen years with that first love and the heartbreak that follows the first love. When the pain remains unresolved, or unforgiven, it is tucked away into our physical being to manifest as chronic illness and, for people at risk, seizures.

As we enter a relationship, even at the innocent age of pre-teen years, our emotions bloom and are unguarded as they should be for a beautiful experience. Then, an experience happens bringing hurt in some form with it and the damage of a lifetime is done. Quickly we turn off our emotions, or cover them up, or claim we will never be hurt again. This leaves the pain and fear to infect our minds and bodies with illness and pain in a way we often do not relate the two. To relieve the manifestations of pain we reach for comfort in the form of a pill, potion, powder, or another person. As any capture, our ego fools us into believing we are safe and have found a cure. The only true cure for this emotional pain, no matter how it is caused, is forgiveness and love.

Forgiveness of the person, or persons, offending you and forgiveness of yourself for allowing yourself to be in the situation, whatever the reason. I’ve been there, I know and appreciate all the reasons. Remember, there is no judgment here. Forgiveness was long thought to be something granted only through the church, but you have power in you to forgive. Forgiveness is not excusing that which was done against you, it is pardoning the act so that you can move on with your life free to grow. In every act of harm, forgiveness for both parties, the harmed and the one doing the harm, is necessary for healing. I say these words with confidence because I am currently on a journey of forgiveness for myself and others close to me. Read on to benefit from my personal practice…


I stand in front of a mirror, look deep into my eyes and speak to myself for a moment. “I love you, Tonya. I am so proud of you for beginning this forgiveness journey. I am here to support you and to heal your heart as forgiveness occurs. Always remember, you are worthy and I love you.” The conversation moves on to talking aloud, in the mirror, to one that has harmed me. I speak their name and share my hurt being as specific as possible. I verbally list what I believe they took from me. I do this without expectation and I pay attention to my breathing and my emotions. As my emotions release and I feel anger or tears, I allow them to flow because this is healthy. If I sense emotions becoming too strong to put into words, my breathing changing, or physical pain increasing, I end the session and rest.

Much of the time my body feels evidence of an increase of well-being and pain relief as I go through this practice and allow myself to let go of the pain and suffering I have held on to for so long. I’ve used this exercise to forgive multiple diagnoses, toxic relationships, missed opportunities, the death of loved ones, and more.

DISCLAIMER: If you should choose to practice mirror work, please discuss with your doctor first and do so under your own power. I am not responsible for any positive or negative outcome when you choose to follow the practices that have worked for me.


I often follow mirror work with time writing thoughts in a journal. Nothing lengthy, just highlights of the session and what my intuition shared with me during and afterward. Journaling is an excellent method of getting your thoughts and emotions out of your head onto paper for reflection later in life to celebrate your growth and healing. I encourage you to begin your own practice journaling. It takes no more than a pencil and paper and a few minutes. Remember, start small and make time every day to build momentum toward this good habit. Soon you will discover the therapeutic effect of journaling and, perhaps, even notice a drop in your stress and pain while your well-being rises. This, my good friend, is healing.