Reading your words makes me want to shake you and say “wake up.” The world doesn’t owe you anything. There is nothing you can do about your family or the people around you, only your reaction to such external things is capable of change. Thus, the issue, and the solution, lies within you.
Your current situation is of your own design; if you wanted to go “home” you could — nothing is stopping you. Perhaps it’s time to find a professional to confide in, many people find it helpful and worthwhile. I see a lot of introspection and yearning in your writing and I hope that you find the peace and harmony you seek.