While the way you portray your relationship (or, more accurately, your lack thereof) with God is sad, from reading both the lines, and in-between the lines that portrayal is understandable.

I will pray that He works in your heart to change the way He is viewed by you, but it is obvious it will take some doing considering the abuse you suffered at the hands of individuals who may have known His name, but certainly did not know Him.

You are courageous for telling your story. It is well-written and the next installment will be anticipated. I am saddened by the story, but happy for the courage required to tell it.