Why Factory-Raised Chicken is HEALTHIER than Açaí berries!

We’ve all seen the documentaries: row after row of miserable chickens, packed together in a grim holding pen, awaiting their death and conversion into chicken fingers, McNuggets and the contents of non-beef taquito options. Sure, this footage makes us sad, and on top of that we worry that the hormones injected into these poor birds might put us at risk for chronic illness.

But did you know that the meat from these chickens might be healthier than the açaí berry? The indigenous people of Binky Bonky certainly do. They only eat chicken fingers all day long and have never even heard of açaí berries. And as I mentioned, these are indigenous people, so they are basing their diets on ancient wisdom instead of the latest corporate PR release from Big Berry. In fact, when I asked a Binky Bonky tribesman named Ding Dong Dooby what his favorite food was, he looked at me, smiled, and said just one thing:

“Me eaty chicken fingys from-a da factory!”

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