Has your marriage changed? Do you feel like there is something missing? Perhaps you find yourself sometimes longing for the days when you were both happy and in love.
We often think of marriage counseling as a last resort — when things are so bad that divorce is the next best solution. Many people also associate divorce with major life issues and changes: infidelity, abandonment, abuse, or addictions.
What if I told you that you need to consider the possibility of counseling well before any of those things were to happen?
Here are 8 prominent signs that indicate you need marriage counseling:
1. You hardly speak to one another. Many relationship challenges center around communications: things left said or unsaid without resolution. A trained therapist can help facilitate new ways for you to communicate effectively.
2. You bicker and argue constantly, especially about trivial matters, leaving everything completely unresolved. Negative communication is just as bad as no communication at all. When your partner leaves you feeling judged or disregarded, things can escalate into emotional abuse.
3. There is a lack of candor in your relationship: you hide things from one another. We all need some privacy in our lives but when you and your partner find yourselves keeping secrets from one another, it is a clear sign that something is wrong.
4. You no longer feel an emotional or physical connection. A healthy marriage means sharing personal feelings, understanding, affirmation, and caring. When these things go, the relationship is in serious trouble.
5. You go to someone else to have your emotional needs met. It is not uncommon to turn to friends and family occasionally for emotional support, but when you find that your spouse is unable or unwilling to provide support, or you avoid going to them for support, then it is time to consider getting some professional help.
6. There is no physical or sexual intimacy in your relationship. Intimacy is paramount to maintain a healthy marriage. A therapist can help you to explore and rekindle the physical chemistry and rediscovery the love and friendship that was once there in the relationship.
7. You find yourself sexually attracted to other people, or you worry that your spouse may be. Relationships where a spouse has had an affair are very difficult (but not impossible) to repair. Trust is a foundation in the relationship that, when lost, takes time to rebuild. Fantasizing about having an affair is a sign that you desire something different. It’s also a sign that there is a major problem in your marriage that you need to resolve now to avoid being unfaithful.
8. You have experienced a life-changing event, grief, or trauma which has left you feeling stuck. Trauma and grief are conditions that do not simply pass with time — you need to address them together with a trained therapist who can help you deal with the emotional scars the tragedy has left behind.
Marriage counseling can help you to gain insight into your relationship, resolve conflicts, and improve your relationship satisfaction. It can help you resolve relationship roadblocks before they become impasses.
According to renowned marriage expert, Dr. John Gottman, less than 5% of divorcing couples seek marriage counseling. It’s way better to address problems in the marriage early before divorce becomes your final destination.
Susan Baker is a Nationally-certified, Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas. She is the owner of Motivations Counseling, located in Sugar Land, Texas. She counsels adults, specializing in self-esteem, self-worth, life transitions, and relationship issues.
For more information, or to schedule a free 10-minute consultation with Susan, you can reach her at (281) 858–3001.
For all other inquiries, she can be reached at:
14090 Southwest Fwy, Ste. 300
Sugar Land, TX 77478