Three words we should all say more

Growing up I had dreams of attending some of the most prestigious universities in the world. I was going to go to Stanford with my best friend, UCLA with the girl I pined over or maybe take the plunge and attend the Sorbonne in Paris.

By the time I was ready to apply all three seemed like impossibly expensive options, so I opted for a large but unremarkable state school. Failing to live up to my expectations put me on my back foot going into school. I passed up my intended major — Biochemistry — and took Psychology instead. It seemed to be a more realistic path for me, and as I learned more I became fascinated with how the brain works.

Understanding the mechanics of thinking wasn’t enough for me, I wanted to understand the process of thinking. That need to understand drove me to take several philosophy electives. I’d heard what Freud, Piaget, Skinner et al had to say about thinking, now I wanted to hear what from Socrates, Kant and Rousseau.

On my first day our professor strolled into the room, gave a sweeping glance to the half-full lecture hall over his glasses and read out a quote attributed to Socrates:

“The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing.” 
~ Attributed to Socrates

It was a kick in the stomach for someone already unsure of themselves, but in time I found liberation in those words. I didn’t fully understand them until years later Richard Feynman, my personal hero, restated them in his own wry, succinct, but above all else instructive way:

“I’m smart enough to know that I’m dumb.” 
 ~ Richard Feynman

Both quotes are reminders that we all have our limitations — even a man recognized as one of the greatest thinkers of the 20th century.

In time it became a mantra to keep me humble, an exhortation to fight and learn what I could, but above all else a reminder to listen. I can hear Feynman’s wry, teasing voice in my head reminding me I’m dumb, and that knowing everything is impossible, which brings me to those three little words I think we all need to say more:

I don’t know.

There are some people that take those three words as a negative, but in my experience they’re three words I hear very often from the smartest people I know, and almost never from the people who fall short intellectually.

It’s the most brilliant among us, a group I do not count myself in, who are the least afraid to admit something is beyond their grasp. For them, every interaction is an opportunity to learn, snatching up bits of information like a magpie and adding to their knowledge and experience.

Pretending you understand the deep meanings that run through Othello is a great way to stay ignorant about its relevance and detail, saying you don’t know is a great way to learn more.

We live in an era with unprecedented access to information. It’s easy to search out almost any given topic and get a broad view of it within seconds. However, no summary and no article are a replacement for real learning, for digging down deep into a single topic and mastering it.

It’s why I feel no shame in saying things like “I don’t know”, “Who’s that?” or “Can you explain that to me?”

I may have fallen far short of my academic and intellectual goals, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be just as committed to inquiry and learning as anyone else. So whenever someone quizzes me about a topic they understand and I don’t, I have no shame in uttering those three words we should celebrate, not fear:

I don’t know.

I’m smart enough to know I’m dumb, and being dumb but curious isn’t such a bad place to be.