PROOF THAT THE SPIRITUAL HEALING COMMUNITY, FEMINIST LEADERSHIP AND PERSONAL GROWTH INDUSTRY IS INTRINSICALLY TOXIC AND RACIST
TRIGGER WARNING: This post is not a call out, rather a call in. This is an opportunity for ALL of us to take a look at who we’re allowing in our space, minds, hearts and day-to-day awareness.
It’s also written with the intention for all of us to examine the ways in which we’re contributing to creating pain, participating in discrimination or erasure, leading people to faux leaders or not speaking out about ways in which the very things meant to heal us can harm us.
This was also written for YOUR protection, sanity and to prevent you from wasting money on people not fit to serve, lead, guide, support or inspire you.
THERE’S SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE. TAKE YOUR TIME AND REALLY PAY ATTENTION.
Take breaks where you need it, nurture your heart and give yourself grace as you allow these stories, suggestions and revelations into your awareness.
Also note: this is not an essay, article or standard blog post. It’s a round-up of sorts. An educational tool. A healing tool. A bridge for revolution. This post contains an abundance of resources, specific examples for introspection, opportunities for self-coaching + journaling prompts and gives you a full overview of a major melt-down that occurred in the spiritual community recently.
This post also contains actual proof, stories, revelations and insights on why the current paradigm of spiritual, personal growth, business and feminist leadership is about to burn to the ground. The takeover has begun.
This post is clearly important because it was censored and banned from Facebook which also landed me a spot in “Facebook Jail”. Get the details here. It’s also a reminder: “freedom of speech” only applies to SOME people.
BIPOC, I wrote this post for ALL of us to validate that we are NOT crazy!
To explain why you had the nagging feeling of distrust, lack of resonance and discomfort when engaging with certain people.
To prevent you from having to do emotional labor.
To affirm your daily experience and remind you that it’s safe to feel what you feel. You’re NOT making it up.
To remind you why YOUR voice, ideas and gifts are so needed in the world.
To connect you with others who think, feel and operate like YOU. We’re out here.
Non-BIPOC (whyte people) I also wrote this for you so you can:
- Stop asking for proof! You don’t need it, it’s all around you.
Allow this post to serve as reminder to you that:
When BIPOC (Black, Indigenous and People of Color)… or any TWA (True White Allies) such as Heather Waxman or Luna Love who support and speak up for BIPOC)
⭐️… participate in the dismantling of white supremacy, racism, white privilege, spiritual bypassing, gaslighting, cultural appropriation, tone-policing and downright violence that occurs in the personal growth world, spiritual communities, feminist leadership, entrepreneurial circles and right here on Facebook … we get censored, erased, silenced, blocked and “put in our place.”
⭐️… open dialogues about social injustices, white-centering, spiritual or psychological abuse … we get censored, erased, silenced, blocked and “put in our place.”
⭐️… use our voices and platforms to say “Representation Matters” … we get censored, erased, silenced, blocked and “put in our place.”
⭐️… demand attribution and credit for spiritual practices or ideas and say “please stop white washing them and reference the BIPOC who taught you these practices” … we get censored, erased, silenced, blocked and “put in our place.”
⭐️… simply try to create a world where inclusion, diversity and equity exists … we get censored, erased, silenced, blocked and “put in our place.”
2. STOP requesting free labor: emotionally, spiritually, physically, energetically and otherwise from BIPOC.
We don’t owe white people ANYTHING. Furthermore, this post contains everything you need to wake up and get to work. If you have questions beyond this, you need to pay for answers.
I also wrote this post….
3. As a reminder about when I woke up and unpacked my own failure to witness the ways in which oppression was showing up in my life.
It’s become so normalized in my day to day experience, I had become numb to noticing it.
4. As a call-to-action for ALL of us, White and BIPOC to seek better teachers, leaders, mentors, etc.
But more importantly … to BECOME truly conscious, inclusive and change-driven teachers, leaders and mentors.
5. As a reminder that although I will continue to highlight poor behavior when necessary, and when I’m personally inspired to, my boundaries are in full effect.
Any time someone asks me for free emotional labor, they will be redirected to this post. The amount of time spent on getting this ONE post to the world is mind-blowing. Between writing, editing, linking, formatting, getting it blocked, having to salvage parts of it and setting up accounts on other platforms in order to share it literally cost me 3 full days of my life.
Some boundaries I’m borrowing from my sister-friend, Layla Saad:
“- The moment a white person starts using racist micro-aggressions in my space, they get a warning to stop. If they don’t stop they are blocked and deleted. If they are a FB friend, they are unfriended.
- If I’m in someone else’s spaces and someone brings their unchecked racism to me, I will ignore them and leave the conversation. Or I will tag a white mutual friend to take over. And I will disengage. I will only engage if I have the time, patience and energy — and even then it won’t be for too long. My job isn’t to educate white folx or teach them for free. Any time I do spend doing that is if I’m feeling charitable, and if they’re not being willfully ignorant and rude.
- I hold myself from jumping in when I see friends I know dealing with microaggressions from people in their space, if I haven’t been part of the conversation to begin with. Why? Because if I did this with every conversation I see online, I would be doing this 24/7 every single day. Instead, I may privately pull that friend aside and tell them to take better care of their boundaries.”
White supremacy is a system meant to distract. Are YOU being impacted?
This form of systemic oppression is meant to keep Black and Brown people and those who support and stand with us from actually living in their fullest potential. It’s meant to hurt our pockets. If you’re not engaging in white supremacy, you’re considered an enemy. This form of hate and toxicity is meant to create energetic, spiritual & emotional chaos in our lives, creating a clusterfuck of confusion about how we should spend our time.
I am opting OUT.
I’m officially done overlooking and bypassing what’s happening. I will not engage in doing the work FOR white people. I will continue to speak my truth and center Black, Indigenous & POC. My time will be spent uplifting and creating solutions for the ones who are harmed and creating services and teachings for people who are ready to do the hard work to be part of the solution.
I’m focused on supporting MY mission to unleash Soulful Innovation™ (a transformative modality, philosophy and movement centered in creating revolutionary impact through the intersection of: Thought Leadership, Spirituality, Conscious Entrepreneurship & Activism).
I will NOT be silenced in my pursuits.
I will hold others accountable.
The work of dismantling racism is NOT for Black & Brown people to do. We know OUR role in this. Our role is to simply rise above it and align with our purpose, calling & mission in spite of. As an act of resistance.
I am getting back to my work for Brown & Black sisters (cis and trans) and the TWAs (True White Allies), who are actually willing to do the work to dismantle racism and toxicity in the Spiritual, Healing, Personal Growth, Conscious Leadership industries.
Free emotional labor for those who don’t contribute to solutions: #AccessDenied.
Pay me for my time, or listen silently and take notes on the way YOU can step up.
If you want to expose the problems that need fixing in the personal growth industry, spiritual/healing communities, white feminist leadership and entrepreneurial circles, while also being HANDED the solutions to implement … keep reading.
“Anger is Sacred, Love can be Fierce and Boundaries are Essential.”
May we also be clear that traditional media AND social media does not uplift BIPOC. If you are a threat in any way to white supremacy, your voice will be censored. Your “borrowed space” on social media platforms can be snatched from you. You will be BULLIED out of speaking up.
Blatant racism, spiritual bypassing, cultural appropriation and abuse against BIPOC (Black, Indigenous & People of Color) is happening daily under the guise of personal growth, spirituality, conscious leadership, feminism and Priestessing.
“White Feminist Leadership is crumbling as it should. Especially leaders in the spiritual woo-woo community. THIS is one of the most violent transactions I’ve seen from a WW using her white authority and every other weapon of whiteness possible. This manipulative violence must stop.”
~Catrice M. Jackson
This above quote is in reference to this video shared by Catrice M. Jackson. It shows tools of spiritual bypassing, BIPOC violence and gaslighting at the hands of Byron Katie.
Additional commentary from ME (Torrie) about this video: I’ve had to stop this video 4 times. This is straight up psychological abuse, total violence and highly disturbing. I was unable to watch in one sitting. It was too much. The big problem here, this is an example of how white people are NOT qualified to heal BIPOC trauma. This is totally out of the scope of her expertise. This is harmful beyond articulation. NLP is being used to manipulate.
I Was Giving Spiritual White Women and So-Called “White Allies” More Credit Than They Deserved. Literally For 33 Years Of My Life.
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know this about me: I’m a new activist and most days I still don’t feel qualified to use that title. It wasn’t until 5 years ago that I truly stepped out into activism. I didn’t realize the true nature of being a Black, Queer Woman in America until this day. But really … my “awakening” didn’t settle in until November 2016. My eyes were opened wide, and I was literally in emotional shock.
Since starting my business in 2014, Folx have been praising me as a social justice activist, spiritual teacher, business leader and following my words heavily.” But honestly, I realized, despite being super vocal and calling out bullshit I wasn’t truly as “woke” as I thought.
There was so much happening right under my nose that I didn’t see until literally this month. White women showed their ENTIRE ass and proved how wrong I’ve been about them.
In an effort to shine light on Gabby Bernstein (posts shared below with FULL details) and what she’s been doing, I made the mistake of comparing her to and PRAISING Marianne Williamson. MANY of my friends, colleagues and readers ran to my rescue and were like, “sis, wake up. Marianne is a snake too!.”
The #WeNeedToTalkAboutGabbyB posts: (MUST READ)
- QUESTION: What is your issue with Gabby Bernstein? What am I missing? I explain here.
- JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS AN INFLUENCER DOESN’T MEAN THEY CAN BE TRUSTED. And apparently, the Super Soul 100 list is flawed AF. Do NOT let that be the measurement of “thought leadership” or “spiritual excellence.” THIS POST GOES DEEPER.
- But it did inspire THIS post. All the willing allies stepped up. (#Grateful). It also illuminated who the problem people were on my friend’s list. (And of course, her name was ACTUALLY Becky. More about her later in this round-up).
Here’s where shit got REAL …
Within the same #WeNeedToTalkAboutGabbyB posts, I had a re-direct to a thread on my business page that was calling out & in white people who had been considered conscious or spiritual leaders, while simultaneously listing all the white people I still thought were on the right side of history supporting BIPOC.
The messages poured in:
“Torrie, you’re not getting it, sis. These people are NOT for us. They don’t give a damn about us. You are celebrating people who haven’t earned it. Lean in. You’ll see.”
Even white women were pulling me to the side and sharing stories about what they had witnessed with some of these so-called leaders.
Here’s the thing, I’m stubborn. Moreover, I genuinely like to see the good in EVERYONE. To my detriment. I listen closely to everything I’m advised of, but the fact is, I’m incredibly intuitive, exceptionally discerning and very in touch with Divine Guidance. So I lean on that. Not to mention, a non-conformist … so I don’t just take people’s word, I have to see it for myself. I need receipts!
However, there’s one category of people that take longer to tune in to and have the ability to bypass intuition, discernment, will cause you to ignore Divine Guidance and even confuse you ability to lean on common sense:
Narcissists & Gaslighters. Those who are SKILLED at manipulation.
This is the ultimate KRYPTONITE to an Empath or HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). Unfortunately, this combination is super active among personal growth leaders, spiritual communities, healing spaces, entrepreneurial circles and in white feminist leadership.
Turns out, EVERY single white person I had on that list of “spiritual leaders I respected” … didn’t deserve to be there. People were shouting this from the rooftops.
It didn’t take long to validate the truth of what my brothers and sisters were sharing with me.
Marianne Williamson and other card-carrying members of the white-centering elite squad did a “mask off moment” accidentally showing us who they REALLY are this past weekend. White and white-presenting women who have ZERO issues with harming BIPOC, then playing dumb for profit and fame. The vehicle? #UrbanPriestessSummit (EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW DETAILED IN THIS POST).
Because of this, I knew I didn’t need to question the advice and warnings that my “safe white teacher list” needed to be updated. Really, deleted altogether.
Enter the #SuburbanPriestessSquad
(Take note that many of them have “spiritual names” from a culture and people they refuse to center. #TheIrony)
- Marianne Williamson
- Sally Kempton
- Vicki Noble
- Ariel Spilsbury
- Tali Edut
- Guru Jagat
- Achintya Devi
- Sophie Bashford
- Brenda Villa
- Sofia Sundari
- Elayne Doughty
- Anaiya Sophia
- Suzanne Sterling
- Sofiah Thom
- Rita Hraiz
- Sukhdev Jackson
- Draupadi Gershewitch
- Mara Freeman
- Nalini Blossom
- Taylor Phinny Russell
This spiritual fuckery of an event was created by the High Priestesses of Appropriation and White-Centering:
Sianna Sherman & Ashley Turner
I’m embarrassed that it took me this long to see the FULL truth. That it took THIS event happening for me to go inward, unpack my OWN delusions and to realize that 90% of the spiritual white women I had been following are RACIST FRAUDS. And NONE of these women listed above are actual priestesses as evidenced by their words and actions.
There’s a reason folx say:
“When POC speak, LISTEN. Stop questioning them.”
For BIPOC, our entire human experience is one big receipt of how racism, psychological abuse, erasure and appropriation shows up daily.
We don’t need to dig for it. It’s always there. But it’s so common, we often don’t even recognize it as a problem. We start making excuses for people and forgiving our abusers. #StockholmSyndromeMuch?
I’m one of those obnoxiously optimistic people, at times. I wanted to believe that the spiritual teachers, healers and “conscious leaders” I looked up to were HERE FOR ME. But here’s a what it all boils down to:
IF YOU ARE:
… lacking cultural awareness or race consciousness in your spiritual teachings, business model, healing modalities and overall life …
… not standing up when you see harm done to Black, Indigenous and People Of Color …
… showing traits of bigotry and exclusion of ANY marginalized or systemically oppressed person …
… not standing up when you see harm done to BIPOC, Trans, Muslim, Disabled, Overweight or any group of people society has chosen to vilify, abuse, erase or steal from …
YOU ARE A DANGER TO SOCIETY AND ARE NOT A LEADER!
Examples include but not limited to …
- white-washing (spiritual white women who are not cognizant of where their teachings came from or refuse to provide attribution to POC who they learned from. OR those who learn from indigenous tribes and change spiritual/ritual/ceremony based practices to become more palatable and easy to implement for white people. Adding the “white spin” without crediting the original source).
- engaging in spiritual entertainment (the insidious and hurtful behavior of using spiritual practices and tools for the sake of staying current with trends, cultural relevance and for fashion purposes without actually being committed to the path of healing, growth, soulful evolution and alignment).
- spiritual bypassing (using the head-in-the sand, stay high vibe and avoid doing the hard work approach to healing emotional, spiritual, psychological, physical and energetic trauma. Also known as “love & light abuse”. This is where the wrong containers and tools are used. Such as doing a spiritual ritual thinking it’s going to permanently heal the emotional triggers of PTSD, rather than seeing a therapist).
- being complicit in tools and tactics of white supremacy (such as using disparaging beauty norms, fat shaming, exclusion of diversity, overly sexualizing women, sensuality shaming, cultural appropriation for-profit and any practices that hurt women, people of color, and any marginalized or systemically oppressed groups. OR taking advantage of the fears, vulnerabilities and traumas of a group for mind control and sales psychology).
- refusing to acknowledge your white privilege
- white savior complex (acting as if YOU know better than BIPOC how to address the issues of racism. Using macro and micro- aggression to keep them “in their place”).
- BIPOC erasure and not listening to those who are systemically oppressed, dismissed and harmed (erasing, watering down or failing to honor the history, story, voices, ideas, inputs and pain of BIPOC).
- not staying in your zone of genius and calling (such as…thinking just because you’re a healer, you’re qualified to dive into all types of healing or facilitating ancestral healing for those not of YOUR ancestry).
- creating spiritual dependency (folks who teach the spiritual tools, or share intuitive guidance but not allowing or teaching how to actually tap into your own gifts, capacity to heal or showing you how to use your magic to change the world. Wanting you to view them as the end-all-be-all guru that you NEED to be happy. Creating a cult-like environment.
- white fragility (this is one of THE most common tools of abuse from spiritual white women. So much so, that there’s an entire healing process that was created by Leesa Renee Hall. You can read about it here).
EVERY SINGLE bullet-point which is COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE to actual healing, spirituality, personal growth, leadership, Priestessing and elevating humanity was packaged in ONE event…. The “PRIESTESS SUMMIT”.
First off, see the image attached. That’s problematic in and of itself.
NEXT: allow me to share some valuable commentary that will help you see under the hood:
⭐️1. WORDS FROM Luna Love:
“HONEST INQUIRY: What does this image say to you about how we’re defining the word “Priestess” (EDIT: …and “Urban”)?
To me, I see 18 of 20 primarily white-presenting women as a depiction of this word. What does this communicate to the masses? What does this say about Women of Color and the sacred role they hold as Priestesses in this Universal container that act as midwife in our Collective rebirth?
(ADDITION: I value and respect the work and path of Devotion many of the women featured here walk, and my intention is not to call them out or judge in any way, it is simply to look at this depiction and the words used and how it effects ALL of us, and get a greater sense of feedback to understand how to show up in a more inclusive way for myself by hearing intentions and feelings in response to this promotion.)”.
On Tatiana’s thread, POWERFUL and accurate commentary from Leesa Renee Hall (see below) really drove the point home about why this event was problematic. Not only is there ZERO diversity or representation of BIWOC, not only are they leveraging AAVE and the “urban experience”, but they also have the audacity to not share their OWN damn practices, while stealing them from other cultures.
AGAIN, I highly recommend that you read the commentary of Tatiana’s post.
⭐️3. I headed over to the Urban Priestess page because I could not believe my eyes. And this is where shit began to hit the fan.
This white-ass image is the first thing I saw, with a pretty offensive caption. So … I inquired.
“You’re asking will WE honor the women of the world. How about, will YOU honor that the women of the world don’t just include WHITE WOMEN! Like WITAF is this post? What is your summit? Are you INTENTIONALLY excluding women of color? Because that’s how it looks!”
Turns out several people agreed with me. Except for people like this woman …
This was my reply:
Jennifer Blue I can’t respond to this comment. It’s like you don’t get my point. At ALL. So allow me to copy & paste what I said on the main promo thread of this event:
It’s amazing to me how white women are just so deeply enmeshed in white privilege & white toxicity and always being centered, that very few of you will see this line up and identify the problem. You see YOURSELF represented and that’s all that matters.
I’m deeply confused, offended and utterly annoyed by this summit! REPRESENTATION FOR ALL MATTERS!!!! This should have been an event that centered BIWOC too!
1. How is this “urban” anything? You want to leverage the name for cool points, but don’t want to actually present as urban. Urban should show inclusivity. Like in TRUE urban situations. It’s NOT just WHITE WOMEN. In fact, it rarely includes white women, except where gentrification is concerned.
2. White women and one POC for this event. Where are the darker POC & Black women? How dare you present as if Priestesses are only white? Priestesses come from ALL ethnicities/cultures/backgrounds. Clearly the even coordinators were lazy AF and made zero effort to diversify the line-up. And oddly, many of you identify as Priestesses of an ancient WOC Goddess, yet won’t feature anyone who looks like the ORIGINAL Priestesses.
3. Shame on every single woman in this event! White women have zero loyalty! How can you in good conscience say YES to an event that only holds white faces? Did you simply not care that WOC were not represented here?
The list could go on. All of this is problematic and disgusting. I’m unfriending those I was connected to & unfollowing every single person on this list!
If you registered for this event, you’re racist & oblivious and don’t even realize it. Go inward and unpack that. And if you’re confused about HOW or WHY this is true about you… see the recent public posts on my Facebook page. It was written with people like YOU in mind 😒 😒 😒
Signed: disgusted but not surprised Black Queer Priestess!
To see the series of replies this photo started, see the original thread here.
I had several things to say on the promo thread of this event. But guess what? BIPOC erasure began to occur.
More than half of my comments and emotional labor were deleted. As were most of the comments from my friends and fellow spiritual teachers. #OfCourse
One of the most irritating parts of all of this is when called out, the creators of the Priestess Summit repeatedly said “We don’t know any BIPOC spiritual teachers & Priestesses.”
See this from Satwinder Simone Isser:
They don’t know any BIPOC spiritual teachers & Priestesses??? WITAF?!
Are you kidding me? We were ALL over their page. They were all through comments section of all the posts that called out the problems of this event. Not to mention, we ALL know damn well many of these so-called Priestesses acquired their teachings from a Person Of Color.
THEN, the Priestess Summit creators were adamant about IGNORING and DELETING most of the comments from me and other BIPOC, yet …wait for it … they had the AUDACITY to ask us to do the emotional and energetic labor of compiling a list of BIPOC for them.
“Hint: it’s things like the Urban Priestess Summit that demonstrate why it’s hard for us to consider white women our friends. Friends don’t let friends get left behind. Friends don’t appropriate your culture and then leave you out of the conversation. Friends say, ‘If my black and brown friends aren’t included in this, then I don’t want to be a part of it. Because if I take part in it, then I am complicit.”
~ Layla Saad
Not only were we NOT interested in any way in doing the heavy-lifting FOR Priestess Summit to give them a list of WOC, when they should already KNOW plenty of them (in fact, many of their students and graduated initiated Priestesses are WOC), but we were NOT about to place our sisters in the line of fire.
Urban Priestess (the official name of the business) wasn’t interesting in getting to know WOC. They weren’t interested in PAYING WOC. They were simply trying to tokenize us and use us to “satiate the problem”. Read: shut up the POC and White Allies who were complaining.
We all went IN on their request and reminded them why they were being lazy, complicit and violent. Most of the comments were deleted. BUT… this reply from Layla got saved and it was THE best response ever.
Highlight from Layla’s response about why it’s time to stop asking BIPOC for free labor.
“If you do not know enough POC to invite to your summit then THAT is where the problem starts. You have insulated yourselves in a bubble of white privilege. YOU must do the work of unpacking your racism and implementing an anti-racism plan for your business — otherwise you are just hoping this will blow over and you can go back to business as usual.
News alert: There is no more business as usual.
Either you’re going to have to do the work of dismantling the racism you have running through your work and become a consciously inclusive and intersectionally feminist organisation. Or you are going to continue perpetuating racism, white supremacy and oppression — and you are going to get left behind.
It is your choice.”
In case you missed it, here’s what went down after countless people (many of whom are my friends) spoke up and shared their frustration with Urban Priestess…
“When a WOC, POC or LGBTQIA+ speaks out about inequality in any form, it is not your space to tell them they are wrong or provide “your” evidence of why they are wrong.”
~ Twyla Rey Clarke
⭐️1. An apology post was issued. Luna Love was invited to a livestream with Urban Priestess creators on their Facebook page. This livestream was an hour long.
But …. wait for it …
Urban Priestess decided to allow white fragility to take over. They deleted their Facebook posts, along with the apology. They deleted all posts that informed their audience that they were doing a livestream with Luna Love.
Understand what’s being said here.
a. They decided that they didn’t feel they NEEDED to actually issue an apology about their racist behavior, lack of inclusion, requesting free labor from BIPOC, nor did they value the time and energy of Luna Love who gave up an HOUR of her fucking time to help them do better. #ZeroAccountability #ZeroRespect
b. They proved through their actions, they don’t really give a damn about their audience, their connections or BIPOC. They screamed that they are unwilling to actually unpack their racism. They proved that they are unwilling to shift the way they do business.
This post from Luna is an absolute must read. She recaps everything that happened and how she felt as a result.
Highlights from her post:
“A few days ago I was asked by Ashley Turner of Urban Priestess to join her for a FB Live, where Sianna Sherman co-founder of Urban Priestess joined us. My time was requested. My time is EXTREMELY valuable to me. More than my time’s value is my presence’s value. I showed up and gave over an hour of my time to what I felt was a PR stunt, rushed, and no way that anything could have actually been learned in that time, so I showed up to shed some light on the work that actually can and needs to be done to be in integrity. This time I gave was deleted soon after (see more on why below).
We all, especially someone who has a huge public platform and is using language of “feminism” to promote their products/services, has the responsibility for that “feminist” language to be intersectional and to have the personal accountability for themselves as a public figure and “leader” to unpack and dismantle the systemic racism that lives in our minds and bodies so we don’t create more harm and continue to contribute to white supremacy.
This was brought up by myself, eventually when I could speak to it and cut through, what I experienced as, the Spiritual Bypassing that was taking place. This was also brought up by those who gave their time and energy to show up and be present and communicate in the comments. Many of those commenters were Women of Color who were showing up giving free labor to educate Urban Priestess.
**These comments are attached to this post**
Unfortunately, these comments made in the video (Attached) and in another post that was an “apology” which had many more comments with more time to be up and gain that engagement were deleted. Wasting everyone’s time and free labor.”
You seriously MUST read the whole post in it’s entirety, then read the comments and screenshots. It’s mindblowing.
⭐️2. WOC everywhere started stepping up sharing their experience. Speaking on how they had been hurt by white people. Many of these women are Spiritual Teachers or figures in conscious leadership. Which means … you would THINK their audience was spiritual and conscious, right? NOPE. White toxicity, white fragility, gaslighting, and downright white violence showed up on these threads.
Which resulted in lots of posts like this. My heart broke for Twyla Rey Clarke.
BUT … as the resilient, can’t keep us down, we’re gonna rise and continue to stand in excellence as the courageous Black women that we are, it inspired stuff like THIS:
SIDE NOTE … EXCELLENT question from Catrice M. Jackson …
SNEAK PEAK: “I know that it’s fun and exciting to discover another person’s spiritual practices.
The headdresses, the dream catchers, the chants, the circles, the feathers…
Gosh, it’s like a whole new world has opened up!
4. MY FACEBOOK POST- An open love letter to BIWOC
I wanted to honor the ones who are THE most under-celebrated group in the world. The ones who carry the most weight, yet get the least amount of credit. And this extends BEYOND the “celebrity & influencer” types. This is for the lesser known, yet just as impactful. This post was created for these Melanated Queens, Goddesses, Priestesses, Empresses, Moms, Entrepreneurs, Visionary Leaders, Healers, Spiritual Teachers, Sacred Activists and Soulful Changemakers who show up daily pouring REAL love, hard work, inspiration, nurturing, support, kindness, prolific words, soulful actions and beautiful creations into those connected to them.
I explained why I love US so much. WHY we are the embodiment of excellence. AND, for those who pay attention, they will identify HOW to be a better fucking human being. I also tagged over 100 BIWOC who are simply doing life RIGHT.
5. This list of resources from Layla Saad on what to do instead of tuning in to this racist AF summit.
6. EPIC & BRILLIANT ESSAY FROM Alexis P. Morgan: Love & Liberation Require Listening: An Open Essay to Marianne Williamson
Whew!!! This post is NOT for the faint of heart. If you read this and walk away thinking everything around you is okay, something is wrong.
“Rather than making space for the grief of failure — to bear witness to the ways that your choices and complicity in this event were out of integrity with your commitments — you pushed it away. Rather than exploring your own feelings of disappointment, and the resentment that arose from being shown an honest portraiture of what you were accountable for contributing in, you deflected and projected this harm onto others.”
— Alexis P. Morgan
Considering I’m struggling with the way my rage shows up, I NEEDED to read these words from Alexis:
“Rage is visionary, transformational, and healing: rage is the pressure that births diamonds.
Rage is a reminder that God is Change, and that actively shaping God is the way we find each other again.
Rage is a way we can return to love.”
~Alexis P. Morgan
And this was PURE GOLD too:
“Love is not always doves cooing in the morning. Love is also a lioness disemboweling a threat to her cubs without a moment’s hesitation.”
~Alexis P. Morgan
Understand, this post from Alexis is not just a post of thoughts. This is not just a call out. This is an incredible ESSAY that needs to be read by EVERYONE.
If you need evidence, specifics, history or proof of the ways white people are colonizing spirituality and creating a shitstorm of pain, this is a MUST read. It is a vulnerable share. It is a mega call-to-action. It is a reminder. It is a way forward.
7. This EPIC AF from Layla Saad:
Here’s a highlight:
“Let’s begin with what this is not.
“This is not ‘I need to talk to spiritual white women about white supremacy (Part Three)’. I have written and written to spiritual white women about unpacking their racism, addressing how white supremacy runs through their businesses and how it is not the job of Black, Indigenous & People of Colour (BIPOC) to do any free emotional labour to educate them on white privilege and social justice. I no longer center whiteness in my work. And if you are white or hold white privilege, and want to know who can help you understand these issues, check out this incredibly well-curated list of black women you can pay.
This letter is also not ‘black woman does outrage over racism of liberal spiritual white women’.
In case you didn’t know, Black women and femmes aren’t only relevant when we’re angry. And besides, I’m no longer outraged. I have learnt a lot over the last seven months. I’m now completely unsurprised at just how rampant spiritual-bypassing, tone policing, violent microaggressions, censoring of marginalised voices, avoidance of accountability, wielding of white privilege, derailing, tokenizing of BIPOC, and white entitlement-fragility-shaming is in the spirituality/wellness/personal growth industry.
What this letter is, is a love letter to BIPOC in this spirituality/wellness/personal growth industry.”
Not only is this post an incredible dose of soul-medicine, here’s what I’ve taken away from it:
1. It’s high-time that BIPOC & TWAs to stop centering “white leaders and healers” in their teachings. I have personally learned from MANY spiritual white teachers and male white leadership experts, I have abundantly attributed them in my work. If the tables were turned, they would simply steal our shit and give us ZERO attribution.
2. We have to stop pandering to white feelings. If INCLUSIVITY is so damn important to white people, they need to PROVE IT. BIPOC have done this for centuries by centering them, teaching them, praising them and doing free labor for them. INCLUSIVITY is not our job to implement. We’ve done it. White people, you get pissed when someone finally chooses not to center you. When are you going to center BIPOC? From now on, you do NOT get an automatic invitation to our spaces. You must earn it. You do that by showing up, speaking out as a TWA, PAYING BIPOC and giving us attribution. You also earn it by being willing to dismantle your racism and accepting the truth that ALL of you have racism to unpack. No matter how woke you think you are.
3. Mammyhood did NOT end. In fact, white people have continued to demand it. BIPOC are NOT fucking responsible for giving away free emotional labor. I’ve done it FAR too long. And it’s costing me big time. It prompted me to really sit with all the ways I’ve allowed whiteness to infiltrate my life, steal money from me and burn me out.
4. Almost ALL of the spiritual white teacher I’ve had has caused harm to me. And continues to cause harm. I must break the cycle. I need to dismantle the toxicity in my own life. I called all my power back to me.
5. I need to revisit my own business model. It may not be safe to allow white women in the same space as BIPOC. This brings me to my knees in pain. I have ALWAYS made it a point to make my spaces diverse, centering ALL women and although I only work with TWAs who are WILLING to do the work of unpacking racism, there are certain programs I offer that may not be safe for them to share spaces with BIWOC. Once again, white people are costing me time and money, because I need to re-do EVERYTHING.
6. Where it counts, it’s ONLY been the BIWOC in my life who have TRULY held space for my healing, pain, ideas and boundaries. White women, if you want BIPOC to trust you, you have to check yourself and start learning what it means to hold space for others and learning how to honor boundaries without being fragile about it.
7. I do not want to lead with rage. But rage and righteous anger is a catalyst for healing. Rather than extinguish it, it’s time for me to use it intersectionally with love, kindness, compassion, grace and ease. I’ve been processing pain and didn’t know what to do with it. Energies, ideas, stories, beliefs, triggers and everything in between have been coming up for me. But as I read this post, I got an intuitive download that is soothing my soul. I now know what to do with my rage. I will not lead with it, but it has a place.
8. I don’t need to keep seeking evidence of white people going rogue. It should no longer surprise me. I don’t need to drag and highlight every white person screwing up. It’s exhausting to be angry all the time. I now know trust needs to have many layers of discernment. White people must earn my trust, my time, my energy and my support. It’s no longer given without equal effort. Moreover, I need to stop feeling like I NEED a teacher or mentor all the time. I’ve BECOME that person. My teachers and mentors will serve a specific purpose, but they can no longer take up permanent residence. Reason or a season. No more lifetime teachers.
9. I will ABSOLUTELY be discerning about who I learn from and who I allow in my inner circle, in my programs and in any of my spaces. White people must earn my trust, my time, my energy and my support. It’s no longer given without equal effort.
I invite every person to READ THE FULL LETTER HERE and document your own personal takeaways. Journal about it. Sit with it. Ask questions of your answers and see what else comes up.
Then ask yourself:
- how does knowing this serve me?
- how does knowing this allow me to be more supportive of others?
- what role do I play in causing harm?
- what would my business look like if I honored the things Layla mentioned?
- what is my first step forward?
“This whole industry is resting on the foundations of white supremacy, white feminism, anti-blackness, cultural appropriation, manipulative branding, and yes, racism. And unless you see the white spiritual teachers, priestesses, authors and leaders you follow actively and consistently doing the work of anti-racism both in their personal lives and in their businesses, then you can trust that racism is what is going to happen. Unless it is actively and consistently opposed, it is the default position.”
~ Layla Saad
More evidence and the aftermath of Priestess Summit. It’s just a never-ending mind-fuck.
First off … Thaís Sky nailed it with this post:
Then Julie Parker brought it home with this …
Anyway, remember the reply I copied above about some of my commentary on Urban Priestess Summit’s page? Here’s the reminder… (I posted this on a few of their threads):
Here’s a reply from a white woman I had once considered a FRIEND!!!
Luckily, Jill Prescott stepped up (thanks love!)
My reply, then more fuckery from Sabrina ensued…
Then my girl Emily Carroll came to the rescue, so I didn’t have to engage with anymore foolishness.
I do not share this dialogue to call out or shame Sabrina. I share this as SPECIFIC examples of how white people cause harm to BIPOC.
Showing how even those who are spiritual teachers and healers (both of which Sabrina IS) still have the potential to not know how to properly respond in cases of racism.
I also want to highlight Jill and Emily who showed up in ways that are honoring and supportive of a Black woman expressing pain.
If you don’t know how to respond in these cases, please use their example. When you remain silent or you are complicit. You are contributing to the problem.
I also share this because we must exercise social responsibility and accountability when we use social media. You can not cause harm to people and expect the problem to just vanish.
EVERYTHING is documented. AND the online world is a very small place. In my commitment to keep folx from getting harmed by those who use the title of “HEALER” names must be named. It’s irresponsible for me withhold these details.
Privacy has a place. Will I expose everything? NO. Will I publicly discuss every dispute or disagreement? NO. But these was a VERY public matter that happened on someone ELSE’S page which created lots of friction and discomfort. NOT just for me, but for others as well.
I also want to highlight this example — — a message Sabrina sent me AFTER I unfriended her.
This was sent to my inbox. Although I ordinarily would not share a private message, this is relevant to the conversation.
Let’s unpack why this message is troublesome …
- Sabrina is micromanaging MY boundaries. I have full agency to unfriend anyone at anytime for any reason. We do not have to justify decisions to protect our space.
- She’s stating that it was MY job to check in with HER because she offended ME. What?
- Glossing over her tone-policing is a classic example of gaslighting. I am not crazy. The other commenters aren’t crazy. We ALL witnessed what she was ACTUALLY aiming to do. She’s attempting to make me “wrong” by saying I heard what she said from a different place. This is manipulative and insulting.
- Centering herself and her feelings by telling ME she’s sad. Considering the context of the conversation, HER feeling are irrelevant.
- Telling me that this was a “missed opportunity” is very patronizing.
- In her P.S. she is attempting to back-peddle, rather than take ownership. Cleaning up what was said doesn’t make the original sting any less noticeable.
- She’s still being underhanded by making the assumption that I want others PUNISHED. Who said anything about punishment? So now we’re looking at her speaking FOR me, because clearly I’m not capable of speaking for myself. #InsertSarcaasticTone
- To be honest, if she were truly aiming for clarity and seeking to be understood and was in any way ACTUALLY apologetic … she would have written these replies in the same place she originally commented: on the public page of Urban Priestess. Instead, she’s sliding into my inbox so she can manipulate me privately and not be called out by others.
- The biggest thing I want to point out … ZERO ownership, zero apology, zero space for me to feel what I need to feel.
I want to wrap this example up by stating:
Sabrina is an:
- says she is a “SHAMAN”
- is a holistic wellness and energy coach
P R O B L E M A T I C
Sure, we all make mistakes. Having job titles don’t make you perfect, nor does it mean there’s not room for human error. However, it’s worth noting that cultural awareness, racial sensitivity and just good damn common sense is NOT in action here.
We can’t hold authentic space for others if we’re not willing to continue our own healing, growth and learning journey. Rather than seeking to learn, Sabrina was simply seeking to be HEARD. At a time where it was not appropriate and without acknowledgment of harm she caused.
Could I have entered into dialogue with her? SURE. However, I chose not to because she approached the conversation in a way that did not make me feel safe or like there was space for ME to be heard.
If we want dialogue with people, we must approach it from a loving space, open heart and curious mind … without leading with diminishing their experience or trying to force them to see things from our point of view. We must be willing to listen, first. I’M SAYING THIS FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WHERE I CONTINUED TO MAKE THIS SAME MISTAKE. We learn from our own moments of getting it wrong. I had to learn this the hard way and I’m STILL learning. So this is not a judgment, this is a “come to Jesus moment”. (More easily defined, a moment of awareness and a wake-up call. A call to action, of sorts. For myself and everyone reading this).
Self-awareness and ownership is the first step to healing. #TalkingToMyselfOutLoud.
So remember how Urban Priestess deleted their apology and livestream?
They wrote a new apology. It’s worth reading. Not because of what they said, but the commentary they received as a result. Folks. Weren’t. Having. It.
Shoutout to the following FB friends who weren’t here for the apology LOL. Layla Saad, Greg Halpen, Simran N’golet, Makenna Held, Julie Parker, Sonali Fiske, Kari Blue, Sharona Lautoe, Anuradha Kowtha, Kristin Iris, Heather Waxman, and Kundan Chhabra
Then SubURBAN and SUB-Par Priestess issued this lazy shit.
Shoutout to Sharyn Holmes, Kristina Shands Christina Ambubuyog and Maribel Melendez for validating.
But then … check out THIS chick. #InsertSideEye (I did not respond because she was simply being downright mean. I don’t engage with trolls and ignorance).
I also want to highlight Andréa Ranae Johnson’s reply which was GOLDEN and right on time. (Check out the lame response she received).
Then, Greg Halpen brought it right on home! #AccurateAF
Kundan Chhabra had the same idea …
For anyone who doesn’t understand WHY BIPOC are angry and why YOU as a white person ARE in fact contributing to the problem when you don’t honor and hold space for justified anger, read this wonderful response from Stephanie Watanabe
So remember the censoring we discussed being highly present on Facebook? Well, this time it was the #SurburbanPriestessSquad who was doing the censoring of WOC. They left the hateful comments, but removed valuable resources. Such as from Margo Stebbing
Here resources were very helpful. Allow me to honor her efforts by posting them here:
In case you’re short on time, lazy or disinterested in taking an extra step, let me give you a highlight from her post that had me about to break out in praise dance because it was such a smack in the face, yet accurate and says everything that needs to be said. We could end this whole article here.
⭐️Got Racism? Here’s the Beginning Script: (see below for Margo’s summary of the article)
Now … we’ve gotta have a chat about Marianne Williamson!!! The very same person I recently and for years have publicly praised and trusted as someone who “got it.” #WrongDotCom
Kundan Chhabra who is a BRILLIANT, compassionate, heart-led spiritual teacher, healer, business leader and BIPOC initiated dialogue with her, and the outcome is truly peak white fragility. Due to privacy settings, I’m doing screen shots. (Kundan gave permission for us to share).
Part of Kundan’s reply:
“ This is precisely WHY I wrote my article on the 3 types of Anger. Anger is way too demonized in the community.”
Then Marianne just kept running her mouth and making things worse …
“So what she’s saying is — she, a white woman, knows better how to do the work of anti-racism than black women and WOC. Is that what she’s really saying?” She’s been white every single day of those 25 years. So she’ll have to excuse me for laughing at her suggestion that she knows better than us.”
In response to this foolishness that is Marianne Williamson, Layla also said THIS:
“1) I am not surprised. She’s just shown us how she really feels about non-white people.
2) Black women and WOC are NOT a mob. This is a racist statement in and of itself.
3) Anyone looking at the summit poster can see it lacks diversity. That she would out right deny this is laughable at best, and astounding at worst.
4) Using words like ‘smug’, ‘self-righteous’, ‘intolerant’, ‘smeared through public shaming’ and asking for ‘honourable criticism’ is a way of tone policing the righteous anger of WOC, and a way of undervaluing the gift of the emotional and educational labour that was given to these women.
5) To compare us to the likes of the intolerant Right (aka Neo-Nazis) is incredibly offensive and shows she does not value the social justice work Black women and WOC are doing.
6) To bring in AA language the way she did is a way of using white superiority to put us in our place.
7) I’m glad I’ve unfollowed her.
H/t Kundan Chhabra
P.S. No I won’t make this post public. But if you’d like to share my words, you can copy + paste them and tag me for attribution.
P.P.S. In case you’re interested in seeing how this train wreck of a conversation progressed, click here to see the screenshots caught by Pilar Mejia” : https://www.facebook.com/IHealMyselftoHealtheWorld/posts/10156496738349206
NOTE FROM TORRIE: If you can’t see Pilar’s post, no worries, Jenna Wen has a public version with additional notes here: https://www.facebook.com/thejennawen/posts/10156317883599314
I literally had to go grab a snack and a cup of tea to take in this goodness from my new friend, TWA Greg Halpen (Check. His. Questions.) #InsertAnAmenHere
Of course, my friend Margo Stebbing wasn’t here for the dismissive tone and lack of ownership found in this post either. She took Marianne to SCHOOL!
Then along came Paul Zelizer. I don’t know him personally, but now I want to. #TellHerPaul. Of course, Marianne ignored him. #Typical
I have to share more wise words from my brother-friend Kundan Chabra here:
“Whyte Spirituality is Based on Bypassing the Pain from being Complicit in Oppression.”
And this from Margo …
Then my friend and a fellow Soulful Innovator, Patrice Dunckley, another awesome TWA said EXACTLY what everyone on the thread needed to hear.
Guess what the response from dear ole Marianne was? CRICKETS. #PleaseDoBetter.
Reverse Racism. It. Is. Not. A. Thing. Please stop saying it is. Kundan Chhabra made sure this point was understood. (Link to the video referenced here).
Beyond the obvious that’s been so eloquently and accurately pointed out, let’s unpack a few more things.
- “Thought Leaders” as defined by Hay House, the Super Soul 100 list and politicians is NOT a true measurement of whether someone functions with evolutionary or even revolutionary thought. Marianne is still stuck in the old paradigm.
- Marianne has reached “celebrity status” and is unarguably an influencers and revered as a spiritual leader, personal growth expert and an entrepreneur to follow. Based on what you’ve seen here, does this seem like someone who SHOULD be leading? A person can only be a leader if others FOLLOW them. Is this who YOU want to follow? Where do you think THAT path leads? I can tell you .. .complicity.
- Marianne is considered an “intersectional feminist.” Her positioning, tone, micro-aggressions and dismissive behavior does NOT illustrate that.
- It doesn’t matter what you’ve BELIEVED up to this point. New evidence reveals itself moment to moment. I’m embarrassed to even publish this … BUT … just a little over a year ago, THIS is a post *I* made.
(Clearly more layers of awareness have been pulled back, because I no longer endorse ANYTHING stated in this post. In hindsight, #SisterGiant was a CIRCUS of an event. But I wanted to be optimistic and believe that change was really happening, STARTING with the leaders that were in that room).
- We can’t just look at a leader and say “OMG, I resonate with their spiritual lessons so much. This is absolutely my teacher.”
Spirituality goes BEYOND the teachings. What are their VALUES? How do they show up for YOU? How do they operate when called to the task of being part of a solution?
This photo below was Marianne on stage at Sister Giant talking about Hindu Goddess Kali-ma. I was so excited about this discussion. See my full post here.
My eyes have been RIPPED open in the past year and I can’t go backwards. Today I am very clear, a person speaking spiritual language, teaching spiritual concepts, using sacred jargon and holding space as a spiritual teacher does NOT indicate that this is a person that is SAFE to learn from.
Another post I made that I’m embarrassed to share:
Today, I want to pose a question to Marianne (inspired by her OWN words):
“What is it that holds you back, or what loveless place within your personality is keeping you from truly stepping us as the leader that folx THINK you are? What keeps you from unpacking the truth that racism is very much still part of your life and you add harm to BIPOC daily? What is keeping you from joining the matrix of infinite possibility to collaborate with other truly intersectional, inclusive, diversity-centering leaders to create the kind of world we most desire?”
But get ready to witness irony in action … this is ALSO a share from last year during Sister Giant … based on words Marianne spoke out of her own mouth to whyte people. #PracticeWhatYouPreach
I think we have enough evidence to support the fact that Marianne is NOT who she says she is, nor is she actually willing to do the work to create change. She just wants to talk AT other whyte people and tell THEM to do the work.
NEXT UP: When I spoke out about the ways in which doing emotional labor that wasn’t my job to do in THIS POST, I was attacked by a “Spiritual White Woman” and of course, when folx called her in, she deleted her original comment along with their replies. She also blocked me, before I could reply to her.
And… OF COURSE, her name was BECKY!!!! Like … of course!
Don’t worry I got screenshots of everything. I have a backup in place to auto-save comments on my post. (HOW? The ONLY Facebook notifications I have turned ON is when someone comments on my posts. I have a whole separate Gmail account set up JUST for this. So that if someone deletes foolishness and no one got a screenshot, we STILL have receipts. #BecauseWhiteWomenDoThisDeleteShitDaily)
Here’s Becky’s comment (this is how NOT to reply to a Black woman who asserts a boundary of NOT being asked to do free emotional labor. Responding with abuse never makes sense):
“I agree with so much of your perspective but find it interesting instead of trying to work together the alienation continues to expand. I say this at the risk of being ostracized and told to fuck off by you…or maybe I’ll even be the subject of a long rant by you, and other readers. but i say it because I’m seeking to understand.
Frankly, I don’t think anything a WW could do wouldn’t piss you off at this point. It takes a lot of energy to be this angry and while I can understand why, why now the need to attack women who are trying to support and connect with you? White or not. We may not do exactly the right thing but at least in tagging you they are trying to do something. Many of us are clumsily trying to something.
Are you trying to make a difference or are you just wanting a platform to vent your anger and frustration? If that’s it, fine, but own in…don’t hide that under the guise of activism. Activism requires all of us to seek to understand and be understood in order to affect real change…that may mean saying “hey WW , i know you are trying to help…but speak up…let all our voices be heard TOGETHER! Activism means trying to find common ground…not just endlessly spewing about injustice.
Maybe a white or brown or black sister can do something…or knows someone.. who can help impact some major change. But you fucking missed it because you alienate people who wan to fucking help…because they didn’t do it the way you “think” they should…and then you enter martyrdom (hello…the hallmark of a WW we know how to do fucking martyrdom) by claiming to burn out because WW tagged you in some posts. Come on now Torrie, you are too fucking powerful for that.
Channel your anger into something that can be productive and meaningful. Getting a whole bunch of people to stroke your ego with how amazing you are and “go girl” horseshit…doesn’t change anything. Don’t surround yourself with yes woman who just happen to be the skin color you prefer. See the SOUL of a woman. You are strong and you have a platform..,use it to grow IMPACT.
I’m going to seek to connect with my soul sisters who may have different skin color than me, but who know the division will not create change. I’m going to connect with the change makers. Maybe not in alliance with you at the moment as you work through this version of yourself, but there are some powerful ass black Women who i know want to partner with women of all colors…white included.”
Before I get into the replies … I want to post 2 reminders …
“Anger is Sacred, Love can be Fierce and Boundaries are Essential.”
I also have questions/journaling prompts for white people…(please sit with this and allow yourself to process).
- Why does the justified and righteous anger of Black people make you so uncomfortable?
- Why do you expect that no matter what happens, putting on a fake smile, and responding in a fake “Romper Room” style voice is the solution?
- Do you ALLOW yourself to fully feel anger and rage? What does that look like?
- If someone continued to cause you harm by continuing to leverage a 400+ year pattern of the expectation of FREE labor from people who look like YOU, how would you feel?
- Has it occurred to you that the statement “angry Black woman” is a modern day racial slur and complete disregard for our humanity?
I’ll copy and paste the WONDERFUL and on-time responses to Becky from my friends:
- Kaycee René said: “Becky, did you even reread your comment? You DO NOT come across as someone trying to figure out why moving in a different direction together is even possible. Your comment doesn’t even come from a place of love but of disgrace and deep bitter rooted anger yourself! You should’ve absolutely moved on and done some inner reflection before posting your comment!”
- Darcy Skye Holoweski said: “Becky, Torrie expended tons of labor and time to support white women and her labor was not respected. She is asking white folks in her community to raise their hand to jump in to do the dismantling of white supremacy that is ours to do instead of unfairly asking her to do it constantly. Activism is not giving your time and labor unquestioningly to those who don’t appreciate it and distract you from the deepest work you know you are meant to do. Torrie is setting a needed boundary here and that deserves respect, whether you agree with her or not.”
- April Monique said: “Becky Jarrard Schoonover This moment is one for you to sit back and listen (or read) to really hear. I’ve definitely had my share of anger, sadness, and misunderstandings. So I feel where you are coming from. I say this with love and compassion. Rather than share in the problem, I believe this would be a great opportunity to use this and other posts to educate yourself. To understand the terms being used and why they are being used. In addition to he work has been done for you in the comments above. Use your energy towards looking up these women and their writings to help you understand. Layla Saad has some tremendously helpful posts. Then you can come back and contribute to the conversations.”
- Jill Prescott said: “I’m afraid I don’t know how to be as sweet as the women responding before me so… Whew Becky, you have done an amazing job of 1) deciding a WOC’s boundaries for her 2) showing a powerful example of spiritual bypassing 3) excusing yourself from your own racism 4) gaslighting 5) flat out fucking insulting the author of the post 6) ostracizing everyone else that commented 7) attempting to ‘coach’ someone that definitely did NOT ask you for it. I would be surprised if the ‘powerful ass black women’ you refer to will continue to ‘partner’ with you after this. Its time for you to sit down.”
- Salenna Blackwood said: “OMG! @Becky Jarrard Schoonover. You have just demonstrated a typical example of White Privilege/White Supremacy! A Black Woman, my sister Torrie has expressed her frustration and you immediately turn it around and stereotype her as the ‘Angry Black Woman’. You lack understanding and learned nothing from what she said so you should have just kept your mouth shut and have several seats! No need to respond I’m not interested in anything you have to say.”
My friends then inquired about whether Becky did in fact delete her comment, which resulted in theirs getting deleted. YUP! So, Salenna drew a fine conclusion lol (I think she’s correct)…
“Becky obviously couldn’t stand the heat so she got out of the kitchen. It was super late here in the UK when I saw her post and responded. (After 2am) My intuition told me to screenshot but I was so tired I didn’t follow the guidance received. Lesson learned! I only have a copy of my short response to her cos I edited it to add her name when I realised she already had so many replies. I feel that along with others, your response Jill and the fact that you stated ‘I would be surprised if the ‘powerful ass black women’ you refer to will continue to ‘partner’ with you after this’. Is probably what made her delete. She didn’t want to leave any evidence of her ignorant and disgusting attitude.”
Again, I do not share this conversation as a rant or even a call-out. It’s a true example. Sit with this exchange for a minute.
Do you see the problem Becky brought to this thread? Do you understand the responses of my friends? (4 out of 5 who were white, by the way). If not, this is worth a conversation. Find someone to discuss this with who you know can hold space for honest feedback.
It’s important that:
1. We recognize problematic commentary as it relates to racism, white supremacy and demanding emotional labor from the very ones who are harmed.
2. We understand how WE may respond or not respond when a conversation like this comes up.
3. We get really good at knowing who belongs and doesn’t belong on our friends list. (Had Becky not deleted and blocked me, I would have absolutely unfriended and blocked her. NO second chances would be given here because she was attacking me in my own thread AND wasted the emotional labor of my friends).
Now that we’ve dissected all the areas of racism, white violence, white fragility, psychological abuse and other forms of toxicity that’s present in people who call themselves Spiritual Teachers, Healers, Feminists, Priestesses, Soul-Driven authors and Creatives, Business Leaders and Personal Growth experts, let’s start unpacking some actionable steps, solutions and outline the way forward.
1. This suggestion from Layla which I FULLY agree with.
If you truly want to do some anti-racism work, Catrice M. Jackson is one of THE most qualified people I know to teach you. PERIOD. Find out about the program here: http://www.shetalkswetalk.com/30-day-course
2. THIS SUGGESTION FROM Catrice M. Jackson “White Women Everywhere — need to read #WhiteSpacesMissingFaces Stat! And read it over and over every day!
INTRODUCTION (copied from her Facebook page):
“Where ever there are white women, there is racism. Where there is racism, there is toxic white feminism. Toxic white feminism ranges from a subtle dismissive assault to a grandiose racist slap in the face. In every space and place where white women exist, women of color who enter these spaces are sure to experience the racist wrath of Weapons of Whiteness; therefore and rightfully so, women of color do NOT trust white women.
Engaging in relationships with white women is a psychological risk for many women of color, and “good” white women are the most deceptively dangerous. Women of color have doubtful disdain, cautious optimism and deep skepticism about white women, because for centuries, white women have ignored our plight and exploited our experiences for their own edification, entertainment and evolution.
White women have always been intrigued by our skin tone, curious about our hair and often intimidated by our presence and voice. Their poisonous assumptions, racial stereotypes and implicit biases have determined if we are allowed in their white space, how far we climb, and if we climb at all. In white women spaces, white women are the equivalent to what they despise, white male patriarchy. In their own solipsistic oblivion, the very oppressive power white women fight against is raging inside of them. White women fight against white male patriarchy, and women of color fight to resist white toxic feminism.
White women are willful instigators, spectators and perpetrators of our pain. Disingenuous relationships riddled with deception, distrust, doubt and danger has been the nature of our relationships with white women since our first encounter with them. From our earliest memories and throughout our adult years, our value has been examined and analyzed through the proverbial and problematic White Gaze; the piercing, skeptical eye of white folks questioning and determining whether people of color are worthy of their time and if they are palatable to their psychological palate.
Yes. All white women are dangerous. Especially in the dominion of their White Spaces. You may be saying, “No, Catrice, not all white women.” Yes, ALL white women! Every single one of them (including you) belong to the good ole girl’s white supremacy club, have been infected with the dis-ease of racism and indoctrinated with Weapons of Whiteness. Weapons you’ve learned from your mothers, aunts and grandmothers on how to engage with and dominate women of color into submission and oppression. White women have devalued our existence, demoralized our history and continue to sharpen their weapons of violation and oppression.
White women historically and collectively have never been our sisters. There’s never been a time in history when white women risked their lives or put resources on the line to stand up for black and brown women. White women have yet to unanimously express overwhelming sadness or anger about the state of black and brown women’s lives. White women have yet to fight for justice and the liberation of black and brown women’s lives. Instead, we, women of color are reminded of the white woman’s intrinsic deficiency of empathy for our pain and plight.
Will there ever be a time when white women unanimously express overwhelming despair and outrage about the state of black and brown women’s lives? Will there ever be a time where collectively white women risk their lives and put their resources on the line to stand up for black and brown women? Will white women ever create spaces where they refuse to attack, abuse and oppress women of color? Is it possible? Any of it?
Is it possible for white women to cure themselves from the dis-ease of racism? Will white women finally deal with their toxic white feminism and lay down their Weapons of Whiteness to truly be our sisters? Will there ever be a time when women of color can easily, genuinely and consistently trust white women? I don’t know. It hasn’t happened for centuries, and I’m not sure it can happen now.
I do know that NOW is the time for white women to stop being so damn fragile and afraid and do what’s right and this guide will help you decontaminate your white spaces.
Women of color have centuries of legitimate reasons to NOT trust white women: in personal relationships, on the job and online. Racism and White Feminism are paramount to why women of color do NOT attend, participate, thrive or stay in white spaces. White spaces are toxic breeding grounds for racial interpersonal violence under the guise of “feminism” and women’s empowerment.
White Spaces Missing Faces boldly objects the illusion of inclusion and exposes the unrepentant truth about the Weapons of Whiteness used by white women to silence, marginalize, violate and oppress women of color.
White Spaces Missing Faces unearths the covert roots of racial antipathy between white women and women of color and provides radical solutions for relationship reconciliation, reparation and restoration.
White Spaces Missing Faces teaches you how to lay down your Weapons of Whiteness to stop assaulting women of color while creating, cultivating and sustaining an environment where they stay, thrive and flourish by denouncing your own racism and becoming an anti-racist Accomplice.
White Spaces Missing Faces identifies eight reasons women of color don’t trust white women and offers candid commentary on what white women need to do to earn and keep the trust of women of color including solutions for decontaminating white spaces. Diversity is dead and inclusion is an illusion, so let’s get real about why women of color don’t show interest or thrive in your white spaces.
No, we’re not going to celebrate the deceptive dance of diversity. We’re not going to coddle the illusion of inclusion.
We’re going to identify the problem, call it out for what it is and deal with it without kid gloves.
Racism is the reason women of color don’t want to participate in your group, club, company or organization.
Racism is the reason women of color do not flourish and thrive in your space.
Racism is the reason women of color eventually enter the revolving door and never look back.
It’s time to examine and decontaminate your space.
Especially the skin you live in. The most important space of all.”
Get it here — http://www.shetalkswetalk.com/books” © 2015–2018. | Catriceology Enterprises. | Catrice M. Jackson. All Rights Reserved
3. We need to understand what spirituality ACTUALLY is: This is a point I will continue to drive home!!!! I do not have the perfect definition for spirituality, but this is how *I* personal practice it and suggest it to others:
Spirituality isn’t just about: crystals, oracle cards, tarot cards, setting up altars, going to spiritual events, reading sacred texts, manifesting, clearing your energy, doing rituals and being obsessed with the moon, etc. These are spiritual TOOLS and practices. BUT not backed up by TRUE spirituality it’s just spiritual fuckery and spiritual entertainment.
Here’s how I define spirituality and what I teach my students/clients/readers:
⭐️ expanding consciousness (being aware of what’s going on around you and bridging the gap between the human world and the spiritual world. WAKING UP. Being mindful. Being a participant in your mind/soul/heart’s evolution).
⭐️ becoming more attuned to your own intuition and ability to access Divine Guidance (not letting others be the only way you receive Divine Guidance. Getting a support from a psychic or spiritual healer/teacher is fine, but they should be teaching you how to access guidance on your own).
⭐️SOUL-ALIGNMENT. This one is LOADED. Discovering, embodying and engaging with your soul’s purpose, calling and mission. Digging to find truth through your own filter. Expanding your capacity to give, receive, be and embody love. Considering your soul is the truest, purest and most unconditionally loving version of you… aligning with our soul means dismantling hatred and bigotry to recognize that equality and equity is the only way we can thrive as humans. Which means:
Soul-alignment REQUIRES extinguishing the hurtful ideologies, patriarchal mindset, kyriarchy, outdated structures, old paradigms, deceptive practices, marginalization, systemic oppression and social constructs that hold people back from reaching their highest potential and experiencing true fulfillment.
⭐️Honoring, paying, crediting and supporting the spiritual teachers and healers you learn from. You can NOT just steal from them. Erasure and non-disclosure of those who taught you is wrong. You do NOT get to learn from people of color, yet only credit and support those who are white. You can not teach ANY spiritual habits or rituals without honoring where they came from.
⭐️identifying the ways in which I still need to heal, grow, evolve or uplevel…then taking soul-inspired action. And speaking of which … HEALING, SOUL-ALIGNMENT & PERSONAL EVOLUTION IS NOT LINEAR. Read this post where I share what TRUE healing looks like.
⭐️being connected and in loving harmony with: yourself, nature, family, friends, community, those you serve/lead/create for and Divinity.
⭐️spirituality is holistic, integrative and non-binary. It means being the light AND exposing darkness.
⭐️ being an unapologetic truth-teller & seeker who question everything … refusing to blindly accept, or inherit other people’s opinions, beliefs, rules and limitations. Do not just listen to what people tell you. Pay attention to how YOU feel.
4. DIVERSIFY YOUR TEACHERS AND WHO YOU FOLLOW. LEARN FROM, SUPPORT & PAY BIPOC.
THIS POST HIGHLIGHTS MANY AND PROVIDES A SNEAK PEAK INTO THEIR THOUGHT PROCESS.
Something important to note: it’s time for us to stop looking at vanity metrics to determine if someone is worthy of learning from.
Social media followers, email list numbers, high-end graphics and celebrity endorsements are IRRELEVANT to whether or not a person is worthy or qualified to teach, lead and create impact.
A. I have a good friend who is a 7 figure earner with a brick and mortar business. She also has a Facebook page with over a million followers, and an email list large enough that Hay House reached out to give her a book deal … and she hasn’t even written or considered writing a book. Guess what? Her online presence doesn’t make her a single dime, she doesn’t have any active programs, nor does she have complete business clarity on exactly what she wants to teach. Yet, people are always reaching out to her for coaching, because her visual branding is on point and her numbers make her look famous. She refuses to coach because it’s not in integrity with where she is right now.
B. One of personal healers and spiritual teachers has a combined social media following and email list of less than 5,000 (far less than me) YET … she is one of THE greatest teacher’s and healers I’ve had and is one of the most intersectional, inclusive, love-filled beings I know.
C. At present I personally have a combined social media following and email list of 12,000, I do hire out for many things but I also have many things that are DIY done by ME. I have personally provided spiritual and business coaching for over 300 women 1:1, have led many online group coaching programs, run paid mastermind programs and have a series of online courses. I have been a major catalyst for those that I serve. I have earned as much as $33,000 in a 3 day period, have had many 5 figure days/weeks/months … but I am also an entrepreneur … which means ebb and flow. Sometimes my bank account has zero dollars. I’ve had $0 months. Yet, my results and ability to affect change speaks for itself. I’ve been told that some of my FREE content has been more valuable than things my clients have invested $2,000 PLUS in.
Vanity metrics is not something I’ve personally had to navigate, as I do not LEAD with my income, I lead with my CALLING … but it pisses me off that others get overlooked for not earning enough, having a big enough following and those who don’t have a damn thing to back them up but look and sound good on paper get all the interest, praise and told they are worthy.
Speaking of SUPPORT, since a few folx recently asked for my PayPal link and encouraged me to set up a Patreon account so they can make contributions for my emotional labor, here’s the direct link (not required, but always appreciated): https://www.patreon.com/torriepattillo
I believe in equal exchanges of energy, so there are 4 membership options loaded with rewards for your contribution. You can decide which one works best for you.
If you love my work, have found the things I’ve shared today and in the past helpful and want to support it, but committing to a monthly membership feels heavy or impossible right now, no worries, there are other ways to support.
- You can buy me a cup of coffee (on most days, I’m ordering a Venti, Toffee Nut Mocha with coconut milk sometimes hot, sometimes iced — but light on the ice…. or a Venti Chai Latte with an extra shot of espresso and whipped cream).
- Make a one time love offering/contribution via PayPal.
To find other BIPOC you can learn from, follow, support and add to your awareness as people making a difference outside of the white gaze, Here’s some suggestions to get you started:
This post curated by my sister-in-Priestessing Layla Saad with a PLETHORA of non-white spiritual teachers and mentors.
More wise words from Catrice M. Jackson
“White Folks: I’m noticing a lot of my WOC friends, especially black women, weeding their friends list of WP, setting up rules of engagement for WP and asking white people [WP] to follow NOT friend (I’m doing the same). Do you realize what this means? They’re protecting themselves from toxicity!
2nd — I see lots of WP saying “I wan’t to stay connected with you because I’m learning and growing because of you and what you post.” In other words, WP are profiting from black people’s pain. While black women pour out their black pain as it relates to racism and white supremacy — white folks are learning and growing from it. You are benefiting from your oppression. That’s twisted!
So what are YOU going to DO to NOT be a taker?
What are you going to do to nourish these black women you follow and learn from?
How will you give back to them?
Don’t just follow black women and TAKE (the wisdom and education from their pain) give back.
Ask them how YOU can compensate them for your “education” because nothing is FREE, especially the emotional labor of black women.
Haven’t WP taken enough?”
5. If you’ve been accused of #WhiteFragility #SpiritualBypassing or #WhitePrivilege or know that you still participate in thee toxic behaviors but want to dismantle them this is a MUST read: Expressive Writing Prompts to Use If You’ve Been Accused of White Fragility Spiritual Bypassing or White Privilege by Leesa Renee Hall
This work has created healing for many. It’s a free resource, HOWEVER, if you find yourself benefitting from this creation from Leesa, consider making a donation or paying for her other offerings. #PayBlackWomen.
6. You aren’t being asked you to be an activist. People are allowed to create change however they see fit. There’s not only one way to blaze a trail to peace and equality. However, using your voice, platforms, conversations, creations and ideas to create social change IS required. This is a FORM of activism … that doesn’t require you to be “front line”.
Being an entrepreneur requires actual positive actions that heal, grow and evolve humanity, rather than harming and creating painful distractions like everything mentioned in this post.
Spiritual leadership includes giving a voice to those who are silenced or oppressed. CENTER BIPOC. Create safe spaces for them. Take a stand when harm is being done.
Vote with your actions by REFUSING to be part of events, summits, conferences, Podcasts, etc that do NOT place an emphasis on diversity & inclusivity. And it’s not just enough to FEATURE BIPOC, it’s about ensuring they are part of the conversation, the compensation and the celebration.
Vote with your dollars and attention by not investing in ANYTHING from leaders who participate in tools of white supremacy and BIPOC exclusion. Unfollow their social media pages. Unsubscribe from their email lists. Unsubscribe from their podcasts. Refuse to allow their energy and influence to attach to you. TWAs this is ESPECIALLY important for YOU to do because real talk, most of these leaders, spiritual entrepreneurs and healers don’t consider BIPOC their “ideal audience” anyway and make efforts to repel us. They care about the WHITE DOLLAR. Don’t let yours be the one that ends up in their pockets.
For those who aspire to spiritual entrepreneurship, conscious leadership, being an influencer for heart-centered people or want to call yourself a Mystic, Priestess, Goddess, Priestess, Innovator, Alchemist, Disruptor, Legacy Creator, Empire Builder or Thought Leader, please know your responsibilities extend past growing a tribe; running Facebook ads, showing your laptop lifestyle, taking photos of your altar, crystals and books and faux positive, “conscious AF”, “look at me, I’m WOKE” posts.
Give yourself permission to be political. Exercise social consciousness out loud. Let your spiritual practice transcend YOU … and expand outward to positively impact others. Fearlessly engage in activism. Amplify your emotional and psychological intelligence.
#TruthMoment: anyone who is REPELLED by or argues with you about expressing your points of views aren’t your tribe/squad/people/community/friends anyway.
Soul-Alignment is necessary for truth happiness, growth, impact and fulfillment. Soul-Alignment is also known as being authentically, unapologetically and fully YOU in a way that aligns with:
- Your Soul’s Purpose
- Your Calling
- Your Mission
- Your highest vision
- Your core-values
- Your belief system
- Your most authentic form of self-expression
- The whispers of your intuition
- The Divine Guidance your receive and feel called to implement
- Your passions/ bliss
- Your personal interests
- Your gifts/strengths/skills/zone of genius
- The ways in which you feel inspired to create change/healing/transformation/revolution/resistance/elevation
Your true tribe/squad/people/community/friends SUPPORT and CELEBRATE and ENHANCE your ability to be soul-aligned. They would never distract from it with tearing you down by stifling you when you speak out about the things that matter to you. If this happens, it’s a sign … you have a decision to make.
“A spirituality that is only private and self-absorbed, one devoid of an authentic political and social consciousness, does little to halt the suicidal juggernaut of history. On the other hand, an activism that is not purified by profound spiritual and psychological self-awareness and rooted in divine truth, wisdom, and compassion will only perpetuate the problem it is trying to solve, however righteous its intentions. When, however, the deepest and most grounded spiritual vision is married to a practical and pragmatic drive to transform all existing political, economic, and social institutions, a holy force — the power of wisdom and love in action — is born. This force I define as Sacred Activism.”
– Andrew Harvey
7. SHARE THIS POST.
Awareness is the starting point of growth. Ownership helps the healing process begin. Discussions on what is wrong, backed by actionable solutions create shifts. This post has essentially done the work for you.
Want your share to really count? Don’t just share it blindly without commentary … add your OWN voice to the conversation. WHY are you sharing this? WHY do you want others to read this?
8. Watch this 8 minute livestream.
This is one of the most emotionally painful, yet illuminating, validating and activating things I’ve seen lately that helps people confront their shit and take ownership in the fight toward racial equity.
Catrice M. Jackson pulls no punches in exposing the insidious nature of violence being committed against Black bodies from “well meaning white women”. Do not skip this! It’s worth the 8 minutes to watch.
If you’ve ever questioned how someone could view you as racist, when your core beliefs don’t seem to reflect that, watch this.
9. Read. Investigate. Research. Have discussions. Use The resources in this post.
I wrote a TON of things since 2016 that will help you unpack all that’s been discussed here. Here’s just a few:
PLEASE NOTE: I have not edited these posts since my revelations about the myriad of fraudulent white teachers, so literally, disregard all of their names. I no longer endorse ANY of “thought leaders” mentioned in those post. Want to know who I endorse? See the names tagged here and read the posts that have been written by me post March 1st, 2018.
- My tribute to the white woman (Heather Heyer) who lost her life fighting inequality and what we can ALL learn from her and do to honor her legacy
- Are you being impacted by or participating in spiritual, energetic or emotional vampirism?
- An open letter to Donald J. Trump: THANK YOU FOR YOUR MENTORSHIP (This is not political, this is a call to action)
- Why white silence & white fragility is ULTIMATE betrayal
- A very troubling, yet comforting download I received about Cheeto Satan (aka #45 #NotMyPresident #OrangeVoldemort #MangoStalin) PLUS, the reason it’s time to STOP with the love & light blanketed bullshit, spiritual bypassing, whitewashing & the other side-eye worthy trouble of the “higher consciousness” community
- It’s no longer about Democrat or Republican, Liberal or Conservative. We are now the United States of “Fuck This Guy (TRUMP).” WHITE PEOPLE….I/we made my/our vote FOR you….can we please get a little love in return? Here’s why
- Holistic Marketing Tips. If you’re afraid to lose your audience because you are speaking your truth: READ THIS
- What inspired me to become an activist and why a CLOTHING item is my symbol and reminder
- How Vishen Lakhiani, the founder of Mind Valley responded when people told him he was getting “too political.”
- Why it FEELS like the tension of the world is getting heightened now. (this is nothing new, but this is why you notice it now)
- Here’s how to and why you must stand up to your friends and family
- Not sure how to help? Here’s how to get spiritual guidance from the universe
- Sometimes it’s best to release people from your life altogether. Here’s how to know if it’s time:
- The most significant lessons I’ve learned that help me be brave and speak up
- The Stages of What Happens When There’s Injustice Against Black People(This post was written by Luvvie Ajayi of Awesomely Luvvie who is also someone I recommend that you follow if you want to dismantle and heal from toxic whiteness).
- Everyone isn’t meant to be an activist. But here’s what you CAN do
- The harsh reality of the higher consciousness community. PARTICULARLY in business
- I used to be judgmental and close-minded toward Christians. However, I healed it.
- This is the EASIEST, most soulful approach to finding people who are likeminded. Once you find your groups, you can form tribes of unity.
- The new paradigm of entrepreneurship
- Business influences, leadership inspiration, the sparking of movements, and activism pursuits are often created by some of the most unlikely people.
- YOU have the capacity to become a hero BUT: you are also not the only hero. Help your tribe members be heroes
- You are responsible for helping others he better than YOU
- This is an open cease & desist letter of sorts for folks to STOP the healer appropriation, spiritual entertainment & activism as “brand content” nonsense.
POSTS WRITTEN BY OTHERS THAT YOU MAY FIND HELPFUL:
- White people…if you want to help, add your voice, or take a stand but don’t know what to do, what to say, or how to handle what may come up: read this
- White and Waking Up to a Horrible Reality
- Have questions about ANY marginalized, oppressed or marginalized group? EVERY question you could possible have is found HERE (read the sub-menu and select a category)
- The Reckoning: Why the Reign of White Feminism Must End
- I built a white feminist temple. And now I’m tearing it down.
- I need to talk to spiritual white women about white supremacy (Part One)
- I need to talk to spiritual white women about white supremacy (Part Two)
- The Faceless: On Whiteness & Emotional Assassination
- It’s International Women’s Day, So Speak Your Truth (Unless You’re a Black Woman, Then Shut the Eff Up)
- Dear Spiritual White Woman: The System Needs an Upgrade That Requires Your Attention to Fix
- A Reformed White Nationalist Speaks Out On Charlottesville
- How White People Can Begin To Combat White Supremacy
- If you have any questions about privilege, why people say you have it and how to lovingly respond, here’s a SHIT TON of articles. Read the ones with a title that answer your question
- White Women Need to Get Their Shit Together
In case you are white and time poor, here’s a sneak peak at information you need to know:
10 Antagonistic Thoughts and Behaviours That Perpetuate White Privilege and Racism
1. Believing White Privilege does not exist.
2. Believing you do not benefit from White Privilege.
3. Believing or making the statement, “I don’t see color, I see people.”
4. Denying, minimising, rationalising or justifying the racial experiences of people of color.
5. Comparing racism to other forms of oppression (i.e. sexism, classism, etc.)
6. Thinking and or stating that a person of color is exercising “reverse racism”.
7. Becoming hurt, angry and aggressive when the discussion of race comes up.
8. Failure to confront other White people, women who are making racist or privileged comments towards people of color.
9. Making statements such as, “I know how you feel (to a person of color) because I was ______ when I was growing up, or because I am poor, gay or etc I know how you feel.”
10. Failure to hear and validate a person of color’s racial experiences by shifting the focus on to yourself with a defensive stance, i.e. why are you making this about race, you focus on race too much, you’re pulling the race card, I’m a good person and I’m not racist, or well that kind of stuff happens to me and are you sure it’s racially motivated?
Here’s why for whyte people: unpacking your own racism … for BIPOC examining the ways in which you may not acknowledge the oppressive acts committed against you … and for those who are fully awake and aware, adding your voice to the conversation is IMPORTANT … it inspires beautiful, healing, magical and transformative creations like THIS (see below) that add value to humanity (more valuable resources included):
⭐️ Listen to the “Lead with The Fire Within You with Nadjejda Chapoteau” Podcast episode here.
⭐️ The Wild Mystic Woman Podcast is EVERYTHING. Every single person reading this should be subscribed. Period. Listen here.
Today, I’ll be listening to an episode with one of my favorite people: the prolific AF, unapologetic, BRILLIANT and profound Alexis P. Morgan.
In this episode Alexis talks about:
- Accessibility vs sustainability in personal and professional practice
- How to be at peace in a capitalist society
- How to stay at peace and at rest as a deeply spiritual and sensitive person
- Not owing anyone a discussion when you write and share your words or your stories
- Having a plan for self care and protection on the other side of releasing your work and words
- The relationship between capitalism, business, and spirituality
- The over prevalence of white supremacy and white feminism of internet marketing
- Win-Free Consulting, Alexis’ alternative to business and marketing and commerce
- Doing the work and analyzing the ways you have been complicit
For the record, Alexis is someone who is as DEEPLY disgusted by the ways entrepreneurs like Gary Vaynerchuk are RUINING the online community, breeding monsters and are a threat to forward-movement as I am. She wrote an open letter to him on Medium.
(In May of 2017 I did a public “calling in” of Gary Vee which resulted in us having a conversation on Facebook and via email and him inviting me to his office in New York. I shared the screenshots of the conversation on Facebook. I have since deleted this dialogue from Facebook and have not gone out of my way to travel to Gary. Quite truthfully, there is no sense in wasting money to go see a person who simply doesn’t care about humans. If Gary wants to talk by video chat, I’m down).
I’ll also be listening to an episode from a woman whose words, energy, commitment to social change and invaluable work for leaders speak right to my heart: Desiree Lynn Adaway.
AND … head’s up, I’ll be doing my Podcast episode with Layla on the Wild Mystic Woman Podcast in April. Woo-hoo!!!
In this episode Desiree talks about:
- How to bring social justice into our businesses to make change
- Understanding the value of black women’s work and how this shows up in creating prices for your business
- How our systems are both racist and patriarchal and how this particularly affects black women
- Whiteness as a justification for slavery and the power play
- Difference between diversity, inclusion, equity and justice
- How to spot the difference between tokenism and true equity in discussions being held
- Relationships needs to be transformation and not transactional
- Affirming and centering yourself as a black woman and woman of color
- Our sense of responsibility to the collective to get free
- How whiteness is a system, a construct, that we (all of us) are responsible for dismantling
- While social constructs are just that, they do have powerful implications and provide privilege
- Social justice and spirituality go hand in hand, they are not separate
- Putting the vision in place, not just focus on getting rid of the systems
- Liberation, joy (especially black women joy) is an act of resistance
- How we can decline privilege to uplift others voices
And more inspired posts like THIS from Makenna Held…
⭐️ MONETIZING ACTIVISM AND STRUGGLE IS NOT OK
“Here’s the deal: I am sick to all hell of people trying to monetize resistance, monetize struggle, and monetize activism.That is what marketing often is though. We monetize where we can ‘help’ people. Show them a better life. And in a lot ways, that IS the work I do too as an leadership coach. I support women who are looking to lead their businesses, their communities, and their lives more effectively.
Monetize leadership, that’s cool.
Monetize life change.
Monetize your marketing coaching.
Monetize shifting paradigms for people.
Monetize showing HOW a mostly white centered industry could be used AS activism if we change paradigms. (See: Coaching as Activism hosted by Andréa Ranae).
Monetize your business incubator that helps businesses be more radical and have an activist bent.
Monetize dismantling white supremacy like Abigail Rose Clarke, because SHE PAID WOC MONEY to create the program, and it’s geared towards white women doing the work.
Monetize to the right people, don’t monetize to people who can’t afford it.
And don’t ever use struggle or activism to monetize in and of itself. FULL. STOP.”
The FULL POST post is WELL worth the read. If you plan to be an activist, you NEED to read this.
You can also listen to Andrea’s Podcast episode on Wild Mystic Woman Podcast where she covers topics such as:
- Dismantling and healing from white supremacy as black women
- The Messiah Complex/Saviourism (the myth that One Person will save us all) in social activism
- Why the self help industry is not changing the world
- Shifting your activism from the individual to the system, culture, and institution changes
- How lack of representation connects to the idea that “I am not enough”
- How collective movements (like Black Lives Matter) heal individuals
- Intention versus impact and how we must still hold ourselves and others accountable
Also worth noting:
If you’re not sure how to market your business in integrity because you’ve been brainwashed by unsavory teachers, coaches and strategists in the entrepreneurial space …
This Medium article “The 6 Stages of Visibility: A Revolutionary Marketing Manual for Visionaries and ChangeMakers” by Kundan Chabra is a MUST read. (As an Intuitive Business Strategist myself, with a 10 year corporate marketing background, I HIGHLY endorse and agree with EVERY single point Kundan made).
⭐️ The Priestess Podcast by Julie Parker
Julie is one of my favorite TWAs. She is an Australian born and raised, entrepreneur, Priestess, author, magazine founder and the creator of Beautiful You Coaching Academy where she trains and certifies life coaches. What I love about Julie is she is ADAMANT about centering the voices, work, stories, ideas, pain, fears and creations of BIPOC.
She speaks out about the injustice and violence against Indigenous Australians and even has her hand and voice fully in support of American BIPOC. If a Black or Brown person is speaking, you can be sure Julie is listening, adding to the conversation, supporting them financially, doing her own inner work and using her platforms to share about them.
And unlike Urban Priestess … Julie is ALWAYS seeking and engaging with BIWOC Priestesses whose work she can share. As an “influencer Priestess” with a large following, primarily white audience and “influencer connections”, Julie actually had something to lose by speaking out AGAINST Urban Priestess. Yet, she did it anyway. #Respect #ThisIsHowItShouldAlwaysBeDone
Also super excited to announce … Julie reached out to get me on the Priestess Podcast. Can’’t wait to do my episode. Yay!
⭐️Rachel Rosen , the visionary leader behind S.P.A.R.K Leadership™.
Rachel is a former educator and school leader. As a racial equity facilitator and leadership coach, she has a major commitment to social justice, racial justice, LGBTQ equality, and educational equity. Her mission is raising leaders and nurturing communities that lead with inclusion, intentionality, inspiration, and impact.
Rachel created a FREE Facebook group around this initiative. In this space, she centers the voices of BIPOC, LGTBQ folx and TWAs (True White Allies committed to adding to the solution).
This group is all about inclusion, intentionality, inspiration, and impact. It is for community-builders who value diversity and authentic relationships. Rachel creates and curates content that touches on the S.P.A.R.K. acronym and explore topics such as:
-Community-building for diversity/inclusion
-Communicating with consciousness
-Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable
I’ve been a guest contributor for this group, alongside one of my favorite people in the world, Tara Marshall: a Healer, Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Activist and Reiki Teacher.
Why healing is essential for stepping into our power/purpose as courageous leaders.
If you join the group, you can watch the replay here.
Rachel is also the creator of SPARK For Humanity, the fun card game that sparks conversation and ignites inclusion.
SPARK For Humanity, helps communities unleash their potential to work together and build trust. It holds space for people to share stories on a variety of fun and meaningful topics.
“Desperate times call for different leadership, and transformational leaders create cultures that leave a legacy.”
Nadjejda Chapoteau (mentioned above) and Rachel teamed up to create THIS podcast episode: Cross Cultural Communications and Diversity
Now that you have an abundance of resources, here’s a final reminder of what NOT to do …
The white violence and white centering displayed on this post is SICKENING. Read the comments. If you still don’t understand what BIPOC and TWAs mean when they tell you you’re centering yourself as a white person, therefore being violent and dismissive, allow this post to serve as your example.
Combined with answering questions about Gabby Bernstein, following up on the Urban Priestess shit storm by asserting my voice and the abuse I witnessed Simran face, it inspired this post.
If you’re white and willing to be called on for support where there’s abuse against BIPOC, please make a public declaration letting your friends and family know.
For BIPOC Layla had an EXCELLENT point about how she expects HER white friends to show up. I couldn’t agree more:
In closing, Ijeoma Oluo & Layla Saad take us to church with these fine truths:
“If WOC are not careful about holding big, beautiful, sovereign boundaries when talking about racism, we will drown. Protect your spaces. You can use your voice to speak out AND uphold strong boundaries. If anything, having better boundaries will allow you to do this work in ways that are more sustainable for you. Do not let every conversation devolve into a battle for your humanity with white folx. If they start bringing their unchecked racism into your space and insist on being obtuse and disrespectful, firmly shut it down. The block button is your friend.”
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