Are you a true networker, or just pretending?

Aurélien Boutaudou
5 min readOct 18, 2015

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Laine d’acier by Faizal Sugi

We’re living the golden era of networking. Professional social networks (PSN for future reference) like LinkedIn and Viadeo have made people more accessible than ever and you’re able to connect with anyone you want. Or at least you’re supposed to.

I think PSN haven’t made us any better at networking. It might have helped people who were already good at networking because it was a very powerful tool they could add to their arsenal. But PSN do not help those who didn’t know how to network be any better at it. Why? Because right now, they’re nothing more than glorified address books. Sure, the data is richer and people can share content, but that’s not what networking is all about.

You network because you think that by getting to know people and by bringing them value, you’ll gain leverage so that, in the future, you’ll have the opportunity to ask them for something.

A true networker is good at two things: Meeting new people and Cultivating relationships.

Two key problems: Width & Depth

Width

Growing your network and discovering new contacts is a crucial part of networking, and probably one of the hardest. Most people struggle with making the first move when trying to get in touch with someone they don’t know. PSN have made it easier by showing you how you may be connected to someone and by making that first contact extremely easy. You just need to look at your list of recommended contacts, click the invite button and bam! You may have a new connection.

Unfortunately, by not teaching you how to make a proper introduction and gating how you access other people’s information, PSN have created a culture where that first interaction you have with someone is almost void of any humanity. People just add people for the sake of having a huge network but it doesn’t bring any value to them. The foundation you’re trying to build your network on is basically rotten because the people you’re in contact with just don’t care.

Depth

Even before thinking about meeting new people, you need to maintain good relationships with the people who are already part of your network: school friends, colleagues, family. How do you do that? It’s pretty simple. Get in touch with them every once in a while, ask them what they’re up to, pay attention to what they say (this one is pretty important) and see if you may bring them value in some way.

It’s pretty simple stuff, but it’s easy to lose track of people. We’re all guilty of letting relationships we have with certain people die out because we haven’t thought of them in a while. The problem is that PSN aren’t very helpful at reminding you to get in touch with people you haven’t talked to in a while. And by getting in touch I mean actually talking to the person. Clicking on the email LinkedIn sends you to congratulate someone on their new job with an automatic “congratulations” does not cut it. Likes and automated comments are not how you really get to know someone. It’s like texting someone that’s right in front of you. You could probably do better than that, right?

But LinkedIn and Viadeo are not oblivious to these issues, and they’re both trying to tackle one of them with interesting mobile apps.

Let’s Meet by Viadeo: Contact discovery made easy

Heavily inspired by Tinder, the Let’s Meet app allows Viadeo members to get in touch if they both show interest for one another. Once a match is made, both members are thrown into a chat app that allows them to get to know each other better and, ultimately, meet face to face.

I find this idea interesting because it removes the awkwardness from accepting or declining invites. You opt in to appearing in the app by showing on your profile that you are open to meeting new contacts, which means you won’t be spammed if you don’t want to participate, and also ensures that people are actually invested in the idea of networking. The app also shows you people who come from outside your usual social circles, which makes it an amazing discovery tool.

Linkedin Connected: a constant reminder to stay in touch

LinkedIn created the Connected app to translate its new vision on the address book: Connections. The app gives you updates on what is happening in your network (birthdays, job moves, etc) and prompts you to get in touch with your network.

On top of that, it allows you to record the history of your relationships (how/when you met, who introduced you, etc.) and also set reminders in order to keep in touch. What I really like about this app is that it solves one of the biggest struggles people have when networking: losing track of people. Even if LinkedIn’s view of interaction may seem a bit “automated” to me, this is a step in the right direction.

Be a true networker

Both of these apps are really interesting additions to a PSN’s value proposition but, in the end, I feel that being a great networker is all about how much effort you put into it.

These apps will always be tools. I believe people are attracted to genuine, frequent and unbiased interactions. Now it’s up to you to make the effort. Powerful relationships require hard work and the ability to think about others before you think about yourself. That’s why I think people struggle with networking. You have to understand that it’s not about what people can do for you, it’s about what you can do for them.

Don’t turn into the Godfather though. You’re not trading favors, you’re being a genuinely nice human being by helping out someone you care about. I think Gary Vaynerchuk said it best:

When you’re giving people something you know they will need and enjoy, it’s because you’re building up a relationship that could some day mean something, right? A business opportunity or dinner or drinks or a new job? Well, of course. All relationships need to be a two way street to be functional. But really, before any of that happens: you need to give with zero expectation of return.

So, are you willing to be a true networker, or will you keep pretending?

It can all start today.

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Aurélien Boutaudou

HR Marketing at Accenture. I ♥ HR, Employer Branding, Social & tech in general. Ex Viadeo, IESEG Graduate, foodie & gamer.