How do I talk dirty without feeling silly?

There’s nothing dirty about it.

For too long we’ve associated expressing our sexuality with being dirty, vulgar, or something to be embarrassed about. Letting your partner know that you fantasize about them or what you want to experience with them sexually is a signal that you’re confident with yourself, safe in your relationship, and open to exploration.

Start with a text.

Creating a safe space to communicate your sexual desires or intentions doesn’t have to start when you’re in the throes of passion. A simple, suggestive text is a good way to put yourself out there, test your partner’s openness, and begin a playful banter.

Ask them if they like it like that.

Everyone expresses themselves differently. Maybe your partner isn’t ready to share the sexy things on their mind just yet. You can always check in and ask, “Would you like it if I shared my fantasies with you?” Who could turn that down?

Write your own little sex story.

Getting comfortable with your own desires and fantasies can start with just writing them down for yourself. It’s a great confidence building exercise, and in the end, you may have something worth sharing with the one you want.