For: Toni Morrison

Tre L. Loadholt
Aug 6 · 1 min read

I don’t think there’s a word
for what I’m feeling.
when you write and you’re black
and a woman and you lose
another beam of light that
gave you hope and taught you through
words how to bust out of
your skin:
no excuses, no looking back, no pulling
away from your core
you fade . . .

bits of you break off,
float into the air,
and paint the sky with sadness.
I want to be able to
say how moved, enriched, and
motivated I was as someone who
followed her words.
I don't know how to do that
knowing that death still comes
even when you feel you
have so much more to learn.
you have so much more to witness.

but the day ends after twenty-four hours
and a new one begins.
that’s the constant of life.
I will remember bluest eyes,
beloved memories, Sula’s hips,
passion-filled dreams, a home
away from home, and how to
love.
I will remember
the gifts laid before me,
one million times ten — words
that blend in with my skin
and kiss the world.

I will remember
why I picked up
a pen.


©2019 Tremaine L. Loadholt. All Rights Reserved

Tre L. Loadholt

Written by

I am more than breath & bones. I am nectar in waiting. •https://acorneredgurl.com

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