Everything happens for a reason

And its so hard to fathom. It sucks when you’re hopeless, wandering, feeling void of purpose or worth because everything you worked for wasn’t fruitful in the way you want it. It’s like having your whole word and future even, crashing down because all you’ve strived for comes up short.

But you learn to rebuild. Slowly. And it seems like nothing works out, since that devastating no, it seems like everything after it is a no as well. And the yeses come slowly and far in between, but you can barely appreciate them because the thing you know you wanted, didn’t want you. The things you reach for that are actually within grasp, and get, have a voided meaning because everything suddenly seems like it’s second place.

But then, something amazing happens. And you discover everything happens for a reason. And that big no at the end, turns into something that is once more reachable when you thought it was impossible. And you realize all the small thing that happened, shaped you into the person that you are today. And you are a different person now because of your loss, your failure. You’re a stronger person. More resourceful. Optimistic, but at the same time realistic. An asset to the community, where you are more fulfilled and more knowledgable than before. And the yes is surprising, but at the same time, you know that the yes doesn’t define you. It’s what you make out it.

I was devastated last year when I didn’t get into SCU EMS. But I became a TA. I joined the peer health educators. I’m in the process of starting my own organization that will hopefully leave a legacy at Santa Clara. I’ve grown so much. And I know I wouldn’tve done ANY of these things if I got onto the EMS squad. I know. And maybe that’s why it was a no. To be involved in all these things, to recognize the other aspects of health that surround the school and community. I wouldn’tve considered public health as a major. Many things would not have happened.

And now, a new door is opening. And I am ready for it, wherever it will take me.