Why It’s Time to Stop Laughing at Lil’ Kim’s Face

You can’t look at these photos without a reaction. Whether you’re laughing, cringing, or just in plain shock — one thing is clear. There is something wrong here. None of us are surprised that she’s gotten to this point. We’ve watched Lil Kim’s face morph and mutate more times than we can count. But, as I scrolled past this photo on The Shaderoom, something about this one stood out to me. Maybe it was the blonde hair or the impossibly pale skin, but I had to ask……Does Lil’ Kim want to be a white woman?

I became curious. What really happened to the Lil’ Kim we knew from the Biggie days and how did she come to be a bleached out blonde? It didn’t take long to come across an interview where she openly explained why she is the way she is. Quite frankly, it’s heartbreaking. Here’s an excerpt from the 2000 Newsweek article:

“All my life men have told me I wasn’t pretty enough–even the men I was dating. And I’d be like, ‘Well, why are you with me, then?’ ” She winces. “It’s always been men putting me down just like my dad. To this day when someone says I’m cute, I can’t see it. I don’t see it no matter what anybody says.”

“I have low self-esteem and I always have,” she says. “Guys always cheated on me with women who were European-looking. You know, the long-hair type. Really beautiful women that left me thinking, ‘How I can I compete with that?’ Being a regular black girl wasn’t good enough.” And the implants? “That surgery was the most pain I’ve ever been in in my life,” says Kim. “But people made such a big deal about it. White women get them every day. It was to make me look the way I wanted to look. It’s my body.” When Wallace was shot to death in 1997, Kim believed the only man who’d ever really loved her was gone.

And suddenly it makes sense. Before you start thinking this is just a sad celebrity story, just know that she’s not the only one who thinks like this. I’ve had conversations with friends who have said these exact same words. And if you’ve watched Beyonce’s Lemonade, you can argue that even she can relate (Becky with the good hair, where you at?)

Every black girl at some point in her life has to stop to ask, am I good enough? I don’t look like anyone in the magazines, I have fuzzy edges, and I wrap my hair at night. I have all the features that are desirable on other women, but they’re not desirable on me….because I’m dark. How do I stack up? Can I compete ?

Black women are consistently dogged on social media, and just left out of the media in general. Black women don’t get credit for beauty trends we start (ie. “boxer braids”) because ‘black women’ and ‘beauty’ don’t typically end up in the same sentence. It’s a hard pill to swallow, and when you come face to face to the truth, your self-esteem better be all the way up so that it doesn’t destroy you.

You have to do the work within yourself to accept and love yourself. Other races have reinforcements like representation in the beauty realm- we don’t. But we do have each other and a shared experience, and you know what else we have? The deep knowledge that we are truly beautiful. We are resilient, powerful, magical beings, and we know it. We don’t need anyone to tell us, and we shouldn’t wait for anyone’s approval. Embrace your sisters and recognize their #BlackGirlMagic.

So before you write that nasty tweet about Lil’ Kim’s face, understand that she’s not at the same self-love stage as you. You might not recognize her face, but I’m sure you can recognize where she’s coming from.

Written by: @_traceyxo