It’s Insane That Anyone Goes Camping
Kelly Conaboy

I completely agree with you but you missed so many points. I can say this with total experience as I just got back from a Cub Scout camping trip with my son. And now I am covered, in bug bites.

So here’s what you missed:

— Camping is a shit ton of work. First, there is the endless packing of the car. You mentioned the cost of all the crap but then there is also storing all of that stuff and then lugging it out once a year to pack it all up in your car. And then there is the unpacking and setting up all of your stuff. This is a vacation that requires you to cook AND wash all the dishes and hang them in trees so the bears don’t get them. What kind of vacation is it, if you have to make your own meals, day in and day out? Do I really want to go to the middle of nowhere to do all the work?

— You mentioned rain, but what about wind? And the freezing cold…. and I live in California. You know that song, “I can’t feel my face?” That was me, all last weekend.

— Not just bugs, but bug bites! All over my my body.

— What about bathrooms? Sometimes you’re lucky and they have one at a campsite. Though many times there are no bathrooms. Fine for guys, but I hate peeing in the woods. Also, what about number 2?

— Camping food. Have you actually tried it? Sure those freeze dried meals look awesome at REI, but have you actually tasted them? First bite, you think it’s not bad. By bite three you’re ready to chuck it and dream of a three pound broiled lobster from Don Pepe’s in Newark. And I love to eat my dinner out of bag. It really makes the meal feel upscale.

—Don’t forget hiking. Let’s walk 5 miles uphill in the blazing heat. Makes you miss the gym.

I’m sure I could think of some more but I’m still busy scratching my mosquito bites.

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