Journal Entry: Feb 1, 2014
“For a very long time, I’ve been getting a strong message and urges to simply allow myself time off to unplug, play, bake, cook, be with people I love. I’m much too driven. I feel the imbalance.”
2014 was a big year for me. The first book in my paranormal series, The Light Key Trilogy, Scintillate was about to release within days of that journal entry. I was busy with final edits on the 2ND book in the series and plotting out the 3RD. I was also seeing a loved one through a terrible mental illness crisis. I was in a state of overwhelm. An all work mentality, while trying to be Mother of the Year (Ha!) and caring for someone through a tough time, was the quicksand I was drowning in. Why ‘quicksand’? Because when we put everything and others above our own highest good, we sink.
I was sinking fast.
My post-divorce headspace was that I believed I had to work harder in every way, overcompensate as a mother so that my kids were happy and adjusting well to the changes, do more, be more. I was trying to prove something, but all I was proving was that I was a five-star juggler who’d left out the ball called ‘joy’ from my act. And while I’d finally achieved the lifelong dream of becoming a published author, I was living from a fearful state that I’d never achieve enough, or be enough…
