Navigate Your Happiness & Let go of navigating their emotions!
I have learned this lesson in various times in my life. It was not until recently that I have let go of all of the guilt associated with NOT rescuing people from their emotions.
In 2006 I told my father that I was supporting my mother’s choice to leave him and start a new life growing into her self, but suffered great guilt in doing so. In 2012, I told my boss and good friend (or so I thought) that it was time for me to care for myself and explore a new direction in life, and suffering great guilt in doing so.
The weight of disappointment from them halted my own progress for quite some time.
In 2015, I distanced myself from extended family. But this time, something was different. I didn’t feel guilty for stepping back. I had finally given myself permission to pursue my happiness and grow in a way that made me feel good, which included a life with limited contact from them and also allowed them to navigate their own emotions without feeling like I had to step in to “save” them or ease them.
Honestly, I had been doing my own inner healing work since 2012 — letting go of the need to rescue everyone from their own emotions, letting go of being responsible for their happiness, letting go of the guilt for not being able to do so.
In doing this inner work, I discovered that I was not giving myself the care that I deserved, it started to occur to me that I was in a cycle of caring for others needs well before my own and that I was not really going after my dreams because I was afraid of what my herd would feel. I wanted everyone to feel good about my choices, without knowing that I needed to be good with my choices.
And that THAT was enough.
We can face a ton of energetic blowback when we set some new rules in life. And we would love for everyone to understand and support our decisions, but we cannot get from anyone what they are not capable of giving.
And that creates chaos. The expectations.
When you allow yourself to grow, you are stepping away from the herd. You are getting ready to implement a new ruleset into your life and ideally. Of course, you would love your herd to support you, but, many times, they cannot because you are scaring them. And that is okay, here’s why:
- You are showing them possibilities for growth and change in their life, which is scary to them.
- You are admitting that it is not your job to navigate their happiness for them. If you have been in that people pleasing role for a long time in life, a lot of your energy has been devoted to putting their needs ahead of your own.
- You are walking on your path allowing them to be where they are, which means the days of rescuing are over. This is BIG, because you have halted your growth so that they do not feel any upheaval in the past. You are putting YOU first — and that is wonderful! When you serve from a full cup, you serve with an open heart!
As you walk your path, you release the need to “save” anyone. With this, you can release guilt of forward movement because by walking your path, you are helping them grow as well. You show them how to walk their own path or at least the possibilities of how to walk it. You give them the gift of Being, which is a HUGE part of our evolutionary journey. And THAT is true love for Self and others.
THAT is walking in Spirit.
Tracy Gromen is a Self Mastery Coach & Healer. She resides in Ohio with her hubby and three boys. She helps female creatives and Healers get out of their own way so that they can focus on what they want in life and biz. Visit Tracy at www.tracygromen.net for additional info and services.