Dating in real life. Stage 5… 000!
So thiiiiis guy…
Ever go out with a guy and it seems pretty okay, so you make plans to go out again?
And because it was somewhat fun, you wave off the unsettled feeling of him friending you on the book of face, and Insta, and Twitter etc.
And then he can’t wait to see you by 13 messages and 4 hours later, so you think aw that is cute, sure I can see you tomorrow… and then he doesn’t want to leave because you are just soooooooooo amazing.
And you start to get slightly uncomfortable because the suffocation is starting to be clear, and he is trying to book you up every. second. of. every. day.
So you say, “listen, I like you but we need to slow this train down before it derails…” and then the onslaught of verbal or cyber berating begins.
43 texts messages later, you are sure that you made the right decision because you have found the horrible ordeal is made even worse by a man that cannot distinguish between there, their, and they’re, and also that his mother would certainly hate you, because he says she will love you. Yea, after one or two dates. You read that right.
So you try to agree with his idea, that this is just not meant to be ::eye rolls:: and just as soon as you hit send, he changes his mind and wonders if there is anything he can do, to show you how he really feels so much for you.
At this point he gets crickets, because he has tipped your crazy scale, and speaking on my own level of crazy, that is saying something. But you know engaging only makes things worse, hence the crickets. The incessant behavior slowly dies, over the course of a week or so.
Sigh, it’s finally over.
And then you are out with friends two weeks later and he sends you a 4000 word dissertation on the love of his life, you, and how you broke his heart, and he wishes you every venereal disease and also that you find love and peace, and will you puuuhhhlease let him know if you change your mind.
Jesus take the wheel.
Thank you for reading! Originally published at uncontrollablyme.com on May 12, 2017.