Friday is Fun Day so we’re all about aN amAzing Tom cruise mOvie

I promise today’s fun doesn’t include Viagra. Unfortunately. Also, it’s Friday so I’m wearing my “Read Books, Drink Coffee, Fight Evil” t-shirt. Get one! You won’t look like a nerd on a caffeine high sitting around and getting a bigger butt at all. Because I’m totally the male version of the model in that link.

September 30, 2022

Notable

• A T-Rex skeleton is being auctioned to someone who is probably really rich
• European inflation hits double digits
• Nike posts a huge drop in earnings, citing large inventory reserves (too many shoes)
• Ukraine asks for expedited NATO membership (sooner rather than later) as Putin officially annexes four once-Ukraine territories. Don’t forget that Putin took the Crimea from Ukraine in 2014.
• NFTs — just for fun.

Regarding Tom Cruise and other important context:

A T-Rex skeleton is being sold? Why would anyone buy this? The obvious answer is so you can climb on top and ride it like a wizard in Chicago which is totally possible. Duh! But I suppose another possibility would be this one I mentioned a couple Fridays ago about rich people and what they do when the world goes crazy. And of course they also buy the US10Y (man, I’m still so cool!).

European inflation hits double digits. It’s not just Germany, which I mentioned yesterday.

Nike is sitting on a lot of shoes. I’m sure we all recall the shortages during the pandemic due to supply chain issues. Well, like Newton says, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,” and as you might expect, it’s often “make way more shoes than people will want because according to our market analysis we’re stupid.” In the coming months, I predict we’ll see that many companies have had similarly clear, foresighted thinking. I’m glad because I really need some new Air Jordans since I’m just barely 36 inches shy of dunking. Looking forward to some big sales…

Ukraine wants NATO membership right now! Or maybe it’s OTAN membership if you’re dyslexic? (Huh? Ask the French.) Of course Ukraine wants it! The North Atlantic Treaty Organization is a military alliance. That means protecting each other with guns, tanks, jet planes, Tom Cruise…all that good stuff. A bunch of old guys put it together after WWII because they didn’t like Stalin/USSR. Kind of makes sense that Ukraine wants NATO to get ready for a punching match with Putin/Russia, eh?

One could argue that the support the western nations have been giving Ukraine is practically the same thing as Ukraine being a member, but it’s not. Countries are sending Ukraine arms/equipment/money (but no Tom Cruise) and laying down sanctions (some of them begrudgingly), but they’re not beating up Putin directly. It’s like if your buddy gave you a knife and a baseball bat and said, “Yeah! Go get that bully! Me and Tom are rooting for you!” and then sat back to enjoy the show.

The problem with letting Ukraine into the NATO cool kids club is that it basically sets off WWIII. Wut? OTAN says that any attack on a member state is an attack on NATO so all of OTAN has to respond with Tom Cruise. What would Putin do if that happened? He’ll certainly grin and say, “Just kidding guys! Keep Maverick off my ass!” and withdraw all his troops from Ukraine. Right? Or maybe we’ll end up having to use…Cruise missiles.

Heh. Gotta love it!

The good news is that induction into NATO has to be a unanimous vote which will be practically impossible to get, so we ain’t worried about it right now. Tom, go make MIIX! (huh?)

NFTs. And because it’s Friday, here’s a treat! What does NFT stand for? Non-fungible token! It’s crypto which means that when a lot of people hear NFT they think it’s bitcoin, but it’s not. Bitcoin is meant to be money so every single bitcoin is the same as every other bitcoin. Sort of like if I have a dollar and you have a dollar and we decide to swap dollars we both end up wasting our time. Most other tokens are like this as well. Even the one about dogs. However, NFTs are all unique. No one else can own the NFT that you own. If you own an NFT and if I own an NFT and if your NFT is worth a bazillion dollars and if mine is worth a $0.01 and we swap, you’re an idiot. See how it works?

Why do you want to own a piece of software — something you can’t see or touch — and pretend it’s valuable? It’s not as if you buy anything digital that you access online — like Apple music songs or Kindle books or when your son wastes $100 on another skin for his Fortnite avatar — right? (That last one has never happened to me. Er. And it definitely wasn’t my avatar.)

There are valid arguments for NFTs. Like buying songs and books directly from the creators and making Apple and Amazon poor. Yes! The problem isn’t in the utility, it’s in the execution. It’s also in the adoption because it’s so new. So go out there and get an NFT! I promise it will [almost certainly not] make you a millionaire!

Last thing. I gotta admit, whatever you think about Tom’s personal life (and let’s just say it’s not something I like to read about), he makes some pretty damn good movies. Go watch one this weekend! Mind candy can be good for the soul.

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