A Holiday Letter for 2014

So, I was brought up Presbyterian. I especially loved Swarthmore Presbyterian — we had a takeover by the Black Panther party one Sunday and our associate pastor came out way before it was popular. It was the 1970s and we had rainbow balloons when he moved away. But, I lost faith in the bible when I read in Deuteronomy that because I was born out of wedlock that I and the next 7 generations of my offspring were all going straight to hell. My neighbor, who was also the pastor, wrote me a long letter explaining to me how those were just old stories, and what was important was the love part. I dug that answer (it was the 1970s), but I didn’t understand why we felt the need to keep toting around an old book that we had to finagle with to get it not to make children feel terrible about themselves. I still don’t understand that.

Later, I converted to Judaism, and it was better, because we got to argue about it and you could even come out on top with a rational argument. Then I found out I was Jewish anyway by DNA, so all I really needed was a reconstitution. However, my community pretty much drop-kicked me when I got divorced, didn’t invite me to a bunch of important events, and when I did get invited, I sat alone. Once again, I wasn’t feeling too great. So, then I tried a bunch of other stuff that I’m pretty sure gave me some sort of religion-PTSD, given that the last attempt I made at participating in an organized community showed me a greasy-underbelly of manipulation and violence. I bought a bunch of “God is dead” books and gave that a whirl. Unsatisfying, because I guess truthfully, I’m not that logical and I believe we’re more than a chemistry experiment.

When I consider all that, it is obvious that I’m never going to stop seeking, but it’s also obvious that I have trouble with authority in any form, but mostly the group-think variety. I have trouble with people who profess to believe in love, community, and repair of this or that, but trash people when they don’t agree with them. This isn’t universal; I don’t believe in global generalities. Because, there are always people who walk their talk. I admire those people. I wish I had a talk, but I don’t.

What I have is some persistent belief that we can find a way to work together, even when we can’t stand each other. That we can stop killing each other because we look differently from each other, or disposing of our relationships because we are called elsewhere, and we certainly can stop believing that any of our social conventions about money, cars, stuff make us better than anyone else. I believe it.

But you don’t get my respect (or excuses) because you are a TV dad, or a great writer, or filmaker, startup guru, religious leader, fitness buff, man that has made millions after failing multiple times, or amazing musician. You get it because you’re a decent person whose faith is grounded in the belief that we can all do better than this, no matter how we get there. And that as you move through your day, you do something to demonstrate that belief through your actions. And I, too, hope to earn that respect from you.

I’m going to get on a plane now and go see my family. How great that they still tolerate me! I sure love them. Happy Holidays my friends