That Time I Met A Murderer | Morbid | Podcast Transcript

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Length 1 hr 2 mins

Released: June 29, 2022

Hey, weirdos.

I’m Alina. I’m Ash. And this is Morbid.

And it’s together.

Reunited Morbid. We’re in the same room. In the same room. I feel like I’m having to like, um, think about how I’m talking and like look at these waves because I can’t hear myself. And it, oh yeah. It’s horrible. Ash has an ear infection on top of being, well, COVID negative now.

COVID neg neg. COVID neg. But you know, lingering ear infection, not great. Yeah. I went to the doctor this morning and you know when you go to the doctor and you’re like, I’m crazy. Like, there’s nothing wrong with me. And then you’re like, you’re going to be embarrassed because like you go and then nothing’s wrong.

Yeah. So she looked in my one ear that like wasn’t bothering me as much and she was like, no, no, no, like that’s fine. She was like, no infection. I was like, all right. And I was kind of like, damn it a little bit. Cause you’re like, am I just like feeling things? Yeah.

I was like, I’m going to leave here and I’m going to feel like a dumb ass. And then she looked at my other ear and she was like, oh, very infected. Okay. And you’re like, all right, well there that is. Yay. I’m not wrong, but ooh, that sucks. But you know what? It’s we’re, we’re at the end of the road here of all the.

We are. What happened? We’re not at the end of the road because I did just get a text from Drew that he had to rip up some of our floor. Oh no. Yeah. I just, I looked over and I was like, oh no, what’s going on? I just looked down really quick cause I’ve been keeping track of his text messages because

we’re having a little problem, uh, in our basement. So that’s fun. Yeah. You know what? We found out recently that Saturn is in retrograde, which by the way, lasts a really fucking long time. Yeah. It’s still like October.

Everybody. And don’t act like you don’t know her. I know. Don’t act like you don’t know Saturn. She’s my planet. Yeah. So she’s your planet and she’s fucking everything up. But I looked it up because I was like, I feel partially responsible for this because like

I’m a Capricorn and it’s my planet. And Drew is. Get away from me you two. I know. I’m sorry. But what I found out about it was, and you can probably like explain this better than I can. No, I think you can.

But I think it said because like, unlike Mercury retrograde, which is like relatively short, you never get to vibe with Mercury retrograde. It just fucks your whole world up and then it’s gone. Like just tornado time and then it leaves and you have to clean up all the pieces. Yeah. But this one lasts so long that at first it fucks you up, which. And we’re still in the pretty beginning, I think. Can confirm that it does.

Oh yeah. I don’t know if anybody else is feeling this. COVID, seizure, ear infection. Kind of shitty people lately. Yeah. Just like in life, I mean. Yeah. It’s just like everybody’s floor.

Just miserable. Yeah. And I keep seeing like, it’s just nothing’s, nothing’s really going well. Nobody’s started jiving yet, but I think we’re on our way. Right now, knocking on wood, I’m feeling good. So well, but I think this lasts so long that apparently you get to vibe with it eventually. Like you start to understand it, it starts to understand you and you start to like vibe together.

It’s like new roommates who leave like our meet off a Craigslist and they’re like, I don’t fucking know you. You have to learn all my shit. And then at first it’s like, boom, boom, boom. I hate you. You like, you left a broccoli on the top shelf of the refrigerator and I like it on the bottom and the, in the little vegetable bin where it belongs. You know what I mean?

Like it’s all that kind of shit. I don’t know what you mean because luckily I’ve never had to have a roommate other than you or Drew. You left my, you went down, you put, I don’t know how to talk. I don’t know how to talk. You left my, don’t fucking be shocked. I was going to say you left my damp clothes on the floor in the laundry room instead of putting them in the dryer.

If anyone did that to me, I would fuck them up. Well, Saturn did that to you. So I, so that’s what I think it is. It’s like it does that kind of shit. It’s, but then you start to get each other and you start to have movie nights with each other and you start to buy each other some, like, yeah, I bought your snack. Saturn is going to buy you a snack. I think it is.

And then by October you guys are fucking bros. And then he dips and then it, well then he just, then it grades. It stops retroing and it just grades and then we’re good. So don’t worry, everybody’s going to be fine. Well, and it’s the summer solstice. It is. So it’s fine. I feel good.

I don’t know if it’s the summer solstice. It is. I, you know, have seen a bunch of TikToks about it that say it’s like a real magical day. It has some good vibes to it. I feel the good vibes. I’m feeling it. So I’m going to just going to roll with it.

That’s so crazy because that means that our summer solstice show that we did. Whoa. Was that one year ago or two now? That must have been one, right?

I don’t know. Man, time is a real flat circle.

Wait.

Yeah? I don’t know.

I’m not going to give you a definitive answer because I have no idea.

I think it might have been because I think we did cults.

That’s really wild.

It truly is.

Yeah, that’s insane. But you know what, everybody, we’re all going to get through it. Everybody’s going to, we’re all, we’re all in this together.

Nothing to it, but to do it. Nothing to it. And you guys are still sending in fucking amazing listener tales.

Every day you’re sending them in and we can’t fucking tell you how much we appreciate it. Every time one goes boop on the screen, I’m like, hell yeah.

Like I can’t wait.

I love it because you guys are fucking killing it.

It’s so, it’s so refreshing to read these like crazy things from you, from you guys, from your lives, from you. And today we have decided to do like a theme-y kind of episode because we have so many listener tales that are in the same kind of genre that we figured why not? It’s in the bad bitch genre. There it is. I knew that was coming. It’s a genre.

There it is. There it is. I literally saw it on your face. I saw you pause. I was like, I’m going to give you that moment for a second. My eyes lit up. They did. They twinkled.

Twinkle twinkle my little eye.

Well today’s listener tale, we decided to theme as meeting murderers.

Yeah.

And we would like to thank Deb Deb for helping us gather all of these because Deb Deb is

doing a great job. She’s wonderful. We love her. I love her so much. And we love you guys. So we’re just full of love today. Let’s just dive right into it on this summer solstice. About to dive in.

Oh, I love the vintage. I haven’t done that in a while. I love it. Had to fix that up a little. I feel like it was a little musty at the end. But we got there. I think like actual dust came off of that. It was like Billy from Hocus Pocus when he like opens his mouth and the moths fly out.

I want to watch that. That actually happened. It did. All right. So this one is simply called listener story. You know what? To the point. Doesn’t bury the lead.

I like it. Does not. I love it. All right. So several years ago, my husband and I were living in a house that needed some remodeling projects completed. Fucking same. We also had a lot of excess junk that needed to be hauled off as projects were completed.

That is the worst. Yep. I hate that. And then I hate when you have to leave the fucking dumpster. Oh, I remember when at my parents house, they did that a couple of times and it always drove them fucking bonkers. Because you literally just have like, no matter how big it is, it looks massive in your. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

It’s just an eyesore. All right. But anyways, we called a local guy named Chad, who came over to give us an estimate on completing some of these projects and related hauling jobs. He was very nice and completed the first junk hauling job without incident. Several months later, we had some more items that needed to be hauled off and we called Chad again. This time he showed up disheveled and in a foul mood.

Oh no, Chad. A different Chad. He was so different and angry this time that we were uncomfortable having him on our property. Oh, geez. So he must have been like real weird with it. While discussing the items being hauled off, it was noted that a lot of the haul consisted of loose items that had been placed in plastic trash bins. The plan was for Chad to haul off the…

Oh, I just kind of like put something together in my mind and I’m like, I’m a little nervous about this. Oh no. Like plastic trash bins. Yeah, I don’t know. Yeah. I don’t know about it. Like, is Chad the murderer that you met?

Oh no. The plan was for Chad to haul the junk off in the bins and he agreed to return the bins to us once they were emptied. They were really nice, expensive trash bins and I needed them back. I feel you. Yeah, nobody realizes how expensive trash bins are. Now during the conversation, my husband and stepson were assisting Chad and loading junk onto his truck.

They got onto the subject of how much junk we had accumulated in a short time and Chad started talking about the junk piles he had accumulated at his own home. He said, my wife says I have a junk problem. He then turned around and looked at my husband and said, sounds to me like I have a wife problem. Oh. I love when like dudes will do that to each other. Yeah.

I feel like it’s always a situation of like one dude is like, sounds like my wife sucks so much and I should kill her. And then the other guy is like, yeah. And his wife is like lurking somewhere. It’s, that’s the thing. It’s like, you know, the good ones cause the good ones are like, okay, bye. Like, no, I have nothing to say back to you at all. That’s when you know you’ve trained them well.

No, I’m totally kidding.

So yeah, he has a wife problem.

Then he continued to angrily throw junk onto the truck and drive off. I keep thinking you’re going to say throw junk into the trunk every single time. Oh, why did I not? I keep thinking.

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