Amsterdam will soon be crushed under the sheer weight of Nutella waffles.

A rant and a plea to save this beautiful, troubled city.

Stephan van Duin
Jul 28, 2017 · 2 min read

Amsterdam’s city center has passed the tipping point towards a singularity; people who come to Amsterdam for the sake of Amsterdam are finding Nutella waffle shops, love it because they’re stoned all the time, bringing in more similar tourists, causing more waffle shops , bringing in more tourists, who demand more waffles — ad infinitum.

People who come to Amsterdam and stay in the city center seem to have only one thing on their agenda; to be able to say that they’ve been to Amsterdam. To be able to say that they were part of it. Part of that free-for-all society, whatever that may mean.

Why they want to celebrate this in Amsterdam per se, when the whole country has the same regulation? Beats me.

Why they want to celebrate the ‘Amsterdam lifestyle’ when it has the locals shaking their heads? Beats me.

But that is not the point. The point is that Amsterdam has given in, and now it’s at a point where the city attracts a certain type of tourist. A tourist that doesn’t care that all that he’s seeing are souvenir shops, prostitutes and munchies-satisfiers (I mean waffle shops…). Amsterdam doesn’t exist in those streets any more than Main Street exists in Disneyland. It’s just a theme for a sad, consumerist paradise. An excuse to give the shop fronts a design, while behind the facades is just…emptiness. (And waffles.)

Of course, other cities attract a certain type of tourist as well. But cities like London, Rome or Paris at least attract people based on their merits in theatre, history and romance, respectively. Amsterdam attracts groups of drunk Italians, hen’s/stag parties from the UK, and Americans that want to smoke weed until they can’t feel feelings anymore.

So instead of this increasing tourism creating a demand for more theatre or a well-maintained city center — things we can get behind — tourism in Amsterdam creates an insane demand for Chinese souvenir crap, a sex industry that is still riddled by people trafficking, however good the intentions of the municipality are. And fucking waffle shops.

Please, Amsterdam..why? You’re gorgeous! Why do you hang out with these scumbags? Why do you dress your beautifully curved canals and houses in these slutty souvenir exteriors? You don’t need to lower your standards to attract nice people. No need to excuse yourself for your brains — your Rijksmuseum, your Van Goghs and Anne Franks — by showing off your body. Just be yourself, and you’ll meet the right ones.

I bet you they won’t even like waffles.

Look at it! You don’t need to be smashed to enjoy this!

Stephan van Duin

Written by

CEO at The Online Scientist www.theonlinescientist.com | Remote Year Alumnus | Based in Rotterdam| IG: stephanvanduin | T: @svanduin

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