I’m impulsive, obsessive, and completely lacking in moderation. But I know myself. The two Delphic maxims I’ve tried to live by since I was 15 are “all things in moderation” and “know thyself”. I have the latter down pat. Or at least so I think some days. I recognize when I’m about to throw moderation to the wind or my impulsiveness is taking the wheel. I check my obsessions damn near daily so as to not lose my mind when they are gone. Lately, however, I’ve been reflecting on what exactly that all means for me in the big scheme of things.
I’ve been blessed to have found a second home in Crossfit Stevens Point. Yeah, it may just be another obsession. Honestly, I don’t care. I don’t care if it lasts three more months or thirty years or my body is doing burpees six feet under. I’m only 24 but I’ve grown enough to know that you don’t deny yourself the beautiful things in life that bring you happiness. Happiness is something I don’t care to moderate at all. I digress. CSP has given me a chance to meet some amazing people; some of them being excellent coaches. A couple of them were joking with me about how I don’t know what it means to “ease back into things”. They’re right. I knew exactly what I was doing when I came back from another state. I knew I was going to need my ego checked forcefully every day to keep me from breaking myself. But that’s just me, I guess.
I’ve constantly striven to surround myself with people who will help me not only grow but reflect. Some folks find immense growth in reflection. I do too sometimes. Right now, however, I’m looking to become smaller. Maybe concise is a better word for it. I want to take the things I know need improvement and fine tune them. Many of my friends will berate and belittle themselves in an effort to fix what they believe are undesirable traits. For me, I’ve come to realize I need love. Not in an astrological sense for Libras or whatever (I am a Libra though so…. Oops); I need to lift my head, hold my insecurities in front of me, and smile at them. I have spent hours running on trails and slamming barbells while battling my demons, letting them know that it’s okay to mess up sometimes, to not hit your goals, or to just cry and try again another day. I’m taking those faults, insecurities, and demons and pulling them closer, giving them the attention they deserve. I’m giving myself love.
Socrates reported that when he visited the Oracle of Delphi, they gave him two statements to live by: “all things in moderation” and “know thyself”. Over almost 10 years of trying to continually battle my impulsive and obsessive nature with that mantra, I’ve grown and shrunk in so many ways. There have been triumphs. There have been failures. Truth be told, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m excited to see what the next ten years bring.