Thank you for the pain
Lately I have been in a state of gratefulness, every day, every minute and I realized that I am in this state because of all that happened in my life. Yes, because of all the pain I had, I am truly grateful today.
This was a shock to me as well, I know your thinking how can you be grateful for the pain in your life?
I realized that if I didn't reach rock bottom, if I didn't wake up on the floor after a 8 day coke binge with vomit stuck on my face, I wouldn't appreciate waking up clean every morning.
If I wasn't raped I wouldn't know true forgiveness, if I wasn't in a horribly abusive marriage and was in such a dark place, I wouldn't know what this happiness truly feels like. All of the bad makes me appreciate all the good I have now.
Mr.Con Artist made me realize that you can't expect anyone to fill your void, that I needed to listen to my gut, that being alone was okay.
Mr .Emotional unavailable taught me to really listen when a person tells you who they are, that "the perfect package " on the outside is definitely not the same as what's going on inside.
Mr.High school sweetheart taught me that no matter how much you want the fairytale to come through, some people just cannot give it to you, except them for who they are and where they are at.
My relationship with my girls, as hard as it got during and after the divorce taught me to appreciate how close we are now and realize things can change and will change.
My friendships taught me not everyone is coming along for the ride...and some will be there for you for a lifetime and always have your back.
Neighbors taught me to reach out and ask for help and believe the good in people, giving taught me to that it is better to give than receive.
Fear taught me nothing changes when nothing changes, fear will keep you stuck. I learned change is a good thing....a great thing!
Stress and depression taught me that when your hair is falling out, when you can't eat or sleep,when you worry all the time, that all of that is not going to change your present situation, so why do it? I learned to pray and let God worry.
My God taught me to have faith and believe no matter how dark it may get, that he got this.
So today my friends I want to give a prayer of thanks to everyone who caused me pain, for every disappointment, for every night I lost sleep and every tear when I cried, when I cried myself to sleep.
I want to thank you for teaching me how strong I truly was and to keep having the determination to keep going when I thought I no longer could go on. Thank you all, for now I know the true meaning of happiness and joy, I have peace and a heart of thanksgiving for every day I am alive. Thank you for the pain...
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