Thank you for the pain
Since I've gotten divorced, I have been in a state of gratefulness.
Every day, every minute, every second, I realize that I am in this state because of all that happened in my life. Yes, because of all the pain I had, I am truly grateful today.
This was a shock to me as well. I know you're thinking, how can you be grateful for the pain in your life?
I realized that if I didn't reach rock bottom, if I didn't wake up on the floor after a 8 day coke binge with vomit stuck on my face, I wouldn't appreciate waking up clean every morning.
If I wasn't raped I wouldn't know true forgiveness because if you can forgive your rapist, forgiveness for others comes easy.
If I wasn't in a horrible, abusive marriage that led me to such a dark place, I wouldn't know what this happiness truly feels like. All of the bad makes me appreciate all the good I have now.
Mr.Con Artist made me realize that you can't expect anyone to fill your void, that I needed to listen to my gut, and that being alone was okay.
Mr. Emotionally unavailable taught me to really listen when a person tells you who they are. That "the perfect package" on the outside is definitely not the same as what's going on inside.
Mr. High School Sweetheart taught me that no matter how much you want the fairytale, some people just can not give it to you. You need to accept them for who they are and where they are at and move on.
My other toxic relationships taught me what I don't want and what I am no longer willing to put up with.
My relationship with the Prince taught me to value my worth and to know and appreciate the love of a good man. To never accept less than what I deserve. I now realize that I am a good woman and that I deserve the best.
My relationship with my girls, as hard as it got during and after the divorce, taught me to appreciate how close we are now and realize things can change and change.
My friendships have taught me that not everyone is coming along for the whole ride, and that's okay. I've learned that other friends will be there for a lifetime and will always have your back.
Neighbors taught me to reach out and ask for help and believe in the good in people.
Giving back taught me that it is better to give than receive and to share my blessings.
Fear taught me that nothing changes when nothing changes. Fear will keep you stuck in a miserable place if you let it.
I learned change is a good thing....no, it's a great thing!
Stress and depression taught me that when your hair is falling out, when you can't eat or sleep, when you worry all the time, that all of that is not going to change your present situation. It will not change the outcome, so why do it? I've learned to pray and let God worry.
God taught me to have faith and believe no matter how dark it may get, that he got this.
So today, my friends, I want to give a prayer of thanks to everyone who caused me pain. For every disappointment, for every night, I lost sleep and every tear when I cried. I want to say thank you for the many nights when I cried myself to sleep and the pain was so overwhelming.
I want to thank you for teaching me how strong I truly am and knowing that I have the determination to keep going when I thought I no longer could go on.
Thank you all, for now I know the true meaning of happiness and joy.
I have peace and a heart of thanksgiving for every day that I am alive. So today, I want to thank you all for the pain.
"Be the change you want to see,"
@TreadmillTreats "Be the change you want to see"
@Treadmilltreats
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"
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