16 May 2017

She’s a shell, drifting in the waves, pulled out to sea, tumbling and terrified. Sat on the sand, lost, disorientated, cracked and smoothed. He is helpless, his dad depressed, his sister struggling more each day. I feel exhausted, the constant battering of wills smashed up against one another, sparks lighting fires, kindling lies scattered at our feet, waiting to ignite with words of fire. Burning, destroying the home and care we have built. I have nothing left to give anyone, my friendships lie discarded while I plough energy into my children, my relationship, my pointless job. Shattered I drag my body to and from this cage, missing out on childhood to fill a bank account with security. I like having money again and I hate myself for being so fucking superficial.