What if Bruce Wayne wanted to work for a magazine?

So this is a weird post. Not weird because it is written in a foreign language or discusses UFO’s, but strange in the sense that it is essentially meaningless.

A friend of mine is thinking of dipping his toe into the proverbial, albeit chilly, waters of journalism after a hiatus the duration of back2back pregnancies. Anyways, the dude asked me to look it over, and I did, but as I began to play with the words and imagery, I got to thinking about a Bruce Wayne cover letter. (Not Adam West Wayne either, this is straight Christopher Nolan Wayne.)

Eventually I started slamming my fingers against the keyboard and ended up with what we have below.

So, would you hire him?

Out of desperation, I donned the mask in the darkness and rain. I had a six-year period packed full of affluent white happiness, and then it ended as bullets exploded from a loaded gun handled by a petty thief with a quick trigger. I lost my parents, I was depressed and lonely, and desired nothing more than to escape the bowels of Gotham.

I finally escaped the city limits when I vanished into the shadows as a beggar. While I more than excelled in a life of crime, only to feed and defend myself, it lacked the fulfillment I anticipated would follow. It also required me to be away from a place in critical need of my presence.

Accepting the tutelage of Ras Al Ghul brought my goals to the forefront of my tortured psyche. Here I learned how to combat the very enemies littering my mind since the fateful night after the opera. While the training transformed my goals into a lucid plan, giving meaning to my life, the job in Gotham was daunting and terrifying.

Since last year, those same ghouls, hit men, gangsters, and psychopaths no longer walk among the innocent, and I now want to turn my life over to my true passion: magazines. While journalism and I haven’t experienced a rosy public relationship, I have always been fascinated by magazines and their abilities to flesh out a story over weeks or months; I especially adore Clark Kent’s work in Metropolis.

However, as a billionaire, I only want to immerse myself in journalism if the right opportunity arises. I don’t want to work at a disorganized place full of the careless and jaded. I yearn to learn and grow with a news organization ready to tackle the vicious destructive figures in society, a place that wants to tell interesting and exciting stories about grown men foraging for baddies through cities in tights. From everything I have seen Gothamia seems like that kind of place.


Bruce Wayne

AKA Batman