Social Media’s role in The Looking- Glass Self
For those of you who don’t know, The Looking-Glass self is a theory by Charles Cooley. In 1902, Cooley created this concept that suggest that we view ourselves by how we think others view us. Simply put, we imagine how others see us and that imagination gives us an image of ourselves. In his theory, he suggest that there are three steps to this process. Number one being how one imagines one looks to other people. The second is how one imagines the judgements that others would have based on how they might view them. And finally, the last step is how one views themselves based on the judgements they created through the people around them, (Cooley, Looking Glass Self).
I plan to take these concepts and apply them to something Cooley never had the chance to do, social media. Before that though, it’s important to know that this concept is based on how we think others view us, not how they actually view us. It’s all based on our own inner- imagination. Knowing that, also know that we have the ability to turn it on and off. I you were on vacation in Mexico, you’d more than likely be focused on the fruity drinks and the excursions rather than how the people around you are viewing you. However, if you were meeting your significant others family for the first time, you would be more focused on how you present yourself. We turn this off and on almost everyday because we subconsciously try to manipulate the people around us into viewing us the way we want them to. Even if they don’t actually view us in the way we want them to, as long as we imagine that they do, we’re happy. You might tell your friends how crazy last night was and how you snorted pre-workout and climbed on top of a house because you want them to think you’re fun and cool, but would you tell your boss these things? No, you’d give your boss a different version of yourself. So, what version of yourself do you show on social media?
Let me guess, you’d post the one on the left. Humans tend to post the good, they project the best image of themselves through social media. If a group of millennials took a picture with the fruit on the right and posted it, how many of them do you think would have anxiety about someone commenting on their post and pointing out how gross that apple is? Think about it, when’s the last time one of the people you follow posted a status that talked about how deeply depressed they were? Now think about how often you see people post about how #Blessed they are. There’s nothing particularly wrong with this tendency, but it’s interesting to question why we only show our best side on social media rather than our true self. We all have bad days, we are all depressed from time to time, but you rarely see anybody post about it. I believe this tendency of ours lines up perfectly with The Looking-Glass self theory.
Our social media habits are quite simple honestly, we just may not want to admit it. If I had to boil it down to its simplest for then I would say that we specifically post on social media for attention. It’s not something that everyone can acknowledge but deep down we all know that it’s true. If you don’t think that you fall in that category like the rest of us, ask yourself why you feel the need to post. If you truly believe that there is absolutely no attempt at getting attention or approval. Why post in the first place? Why can’t you just be content and keep that picture of yourself on vacation to yourself? We post because we want to shape an image of ourselves through other peoples eyes. In other words, we project a version of ourselves online based on how we think others want to see us.
It’s not that hard to believe that we want positive feedback from our followers. If you go out of your way to post things to get negative feedback, you probably need a psychiatrist. For the rest of us, We want this attention to be approving in the form of likes and comments. I believe that in itself proves the Looking-Glass theory to be true. By actively taking part in social media, we are practicing the Looking-glass Theory. I believe that we all are guilty of projecting this cyber-self that is supposed to be a flawless version of our true-self. There hasn’t been enough studying of this issue to really point a finger in a definitive direction on the reasoning behind this, but studies do support the theory that our cyber-self isn’t who we really are.
I believe that social medias role in the Looking-Glass theory is anything except minor. Anytime we post a picture it must first pass an intensive screening process. This is step one of the theory, we are imagining how others will view us once we post it. This screening process is also the second step of the theory in practice. While we scan this picture for flaws, we are scanning for judgements that people might make. We don’t even know exactly who will see this picture but we’re worried about how they might judge it. And finally, we post it, and wait for others to acknowledge our best attempt to project a flawless version of ourselves. (Cooley, Perception is Reality). We develop this view of ourselves based on how many positive judgments, or likes, we get. Every time you post a picture for the world to see, you are practicing the Looking-Glass Theory and subconsciously proving Cooley’s ides right a hundred years later. So post away fellow attention seekers, post away!
Squirrell, T. (2017, May 15). Understanding Charles Cooley’s “Looking Glass Self”. https://www.timsquirrell.com/blog/2017/5/15/understanding-charles-cooleys-looking-glass-self.
Perception Is Reality: The Looking-Glass Self. Perception Is Reality: The Looking-Glass Self | Lesley University. https://lesley.edu/article/perception-is-reality-the-looking-glass-self.
Khan Academy. Charles Cooley- Looking glass self (video). Khan Academy. https://www.khanacademy.org/test-prep/mcat/individuals-and-society/self-identity/v/charles-cooley-looking-glass-self.
