Fuck You, I’m Not A Millennial
Patrick Hipp

I was born in 1990 and experienced all of this first hand with the exception of Scott Pilgrim. I didn’t even know of Pornhub 10 years ago. I remember messing with the bunny ears to get my Saturday morning fix of TMNT and Spider-man.

I remember listening to Elvis and The Temptations on my Walkman as a child. I remember my aunt’s oversized hair and denim clothing. I remember my toddler size track suit and Reebok shoes while sporting an ungodly abomination known as “The Rat Tail” on the back of my head. I remember playing my first video game which was Duck Hunt until Sega’s Sonic became my passion.

I remember the perplexed feeling the first time I encountered a T.V. that you can actually control with that strange rainbow colored apple on the side. I remember watching Cheers and Happy Days syndications every-night before bed.

I had a very similar childhood as “Gen Y” and can relate to them a hell of a lot more than I can with my 15 year old sister born in 2000. Love her dearly, but her and her friends give me headaches trying to translate their conversations and the abstract language they’re bilingual in.

I didn’t touch a cellphone until I was 14 and I never sent a text message until I received my first cellphone at 16 (for emergency use only). The closest I ever became to being some millennial computer whiz-kid is when I copied and pasted codes into my myspace account.

My “age of discovery” was not the internet, but finding my parents VHS tapes of 70's porn-stars which I always had to rewind back to the beginning before putting it back. DVDs were a Godsend!

I don’t know why all Millennials are seen as the generation that never played outside or the “Ipad” kids or whatever more modern era technology to connect our childhood with. I don’t need to break off and become my own generation because I have no problem being a Millennial. I associate my own childhood with this generation and it’s neither being an 80's kid or a technology kid. Somewhere in between the two is my part of the Millennial generation.

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