Dear Children I Did Not Have:
I did not have you because as a nation, America has failed us on many levels and I saw no reason to involve you. It so happens there are a lot of excellent things about being an American that I am sorry you will miss but I just couldn’t justify letting you experience the pride of electing a black president, a female president (not this time but we gave it hell and if the stupid electoral college wasn’t still in play you would have been able to check that one off your bucket list by now), two sane senators from Pennsylvania AT THE SAME TIME and a lot of other uniquely American things because I could not square ever having to explain others: why third graders sometimes go to school and never come home because Americans are jerks about guns and won’t prevent mentally ill people from taking them to school and shooting kids, why 27% of us seem to think their entitled bums are better than anyone else’s particularly those people who have a different skin color, different belief system or nerve to be born somewhere besides where that 27% think is ok or why everything that tastes really good is bad for you. The last thing is not an American thing, probably, but I still am sorry about how great sugar tastes when it is obviously going to kill us all. Also, animal abuse, anti-choice zealots and people who can’t stop themselves from saying, “Have a good one.” Also not American but just ignorant. Poverty. There’s a thing I would never have been able to explain to you. It’s wrong and in America everyone deserves to have enough to eat, a place to live and the sure knowledge that they are loved. Sorry, kids.
Not Your Mother