The Cornerstone Habits and Beliefs That Changed My Life
Growing up, I had some shitty habits.
Like many 90s kids, my life was dominated by cartoons and video games. School was a distraction, earning just enough attention to not become a problem. And my diet largely consisted of milk and chocolate wafers.
By the time I got to university, mediocrity defined my output and, to an extent, self-image.
Fast-forward to today and I’ve turned the trajectory around. I rarely waste time. Learning feels fun. And I’m in the best shape of my life.
So, what are the habits and beliefs that changed my life? If you feel like you’re in a bad spot right now, physically or mentally, I hope my journey can help.
Ground Zero: Changing My Belief System
A lot of people say you have to hit rock bottom to really change your belief system. It’s so deeply ingrained in your personality that only a shock of some sort can wake you up. A rough slap by God, if you will.
In my case, it was the slow realisation that my life was pretty miserable. Not a single moment in time but rather a prolonged period of shitty days, repeated again and again.
I’d wake up at 5 am to start my supermarket job. I’d then have a university lecture or some other task to handle, before starting my second job selling newspaper subscriptions door-to-door.
A few hours and zero sales later, I’d be home with my roommates, eating burgers and zoning out on the PlayStation until well after midnight.
No exercise.
No sleep.
And no purpose.
To top it all off, my girlfriend (and now wife) spent a year studying abroad so I was stuck physically, mentally and emotionally.
It was in the few and short moments of solitude that I started to explore ways out of this. So I came across a lot of the personal development gurus and literature you’d typically find online.
Now, a couple of creators from that time stuck with me:
Brian Johnson and his Philosopher’s Notes TV
Summarising personal development books in ~10-minute videos, Brian helped me get a feel for the available literature and start the day with a positive mindset.
Scott Dinsmore of Live Your Legend
Helping folks find and do the work they love, you may have come across his TED talk below:
Sadly, Scott died while climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in 2015 at just 33 years of age. Still, he left a lasting legacy. As per James Clear’s article following his death:
“This article is about Scott, about the lessons I learned from him, about the global movement he created, and about the incredible difference one person can make in the world. My words are a poor tribute to the life he lived, but they are the best I can offer.”
Leo Babauta from Zen Habits published another tribute highlighting Scott’s life and philosophy, in case you want to learn more.
Books and podcasts
Apart from these two great human beings, I came across The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which got me deeper into the personal development space. It’s a practical summary of the world’s wisdom on how to live a good life.
Around the same time I was exploring these topics, Tim Ferriss launched his podcast and Shawn Stevenson started The Model Health Show.
All of these resources turned my daily grind into a more bearable experience. They helped me see the good things in life and notice all the possibilities for improvement.
Looking back, I was completely brainwashed.
But in a good way.
The 6 Most Important Habits in My Life
Now that I was immersed in the personal development movement, I started replacing my old habits with more productive behaviours.
This was not a structured process where I did the same thing for 21 days or 60 days or whatever science says is the ideal period to develop a new habit.
It was a struggle.
It took me years to make old habits obsolete in favour of new, better ones. I would experiment with various workouts and diets, only to fall back to eating garbage again.
I would journal about my perfect day and try to implement a robust schedule, only to disappoint myself again and again.
Indeed, every positive habit in my life is the result of trial and error. Starting small, failing and starting again until you finally learn to enjoy the productive behaviours that seemed so out of reach before.
I’m not saying this to discourage you. Instead, I want to do the opposite. If you find yourself struggling to keep up a good habit, don’t blame yourself. It’s just part of the process.
Now, on to the best habits in my life.
Habit #1: Walking
Walking is without a doubt the top habit in my life. It’s a super easy starting point as you don’t need any special clothing or preparation.
It immediately brings health and mental benefits into your life.
And, crucially, it allows you to execute multiple other positive habits at the same time, as you will see later on.
This is why it’s a cornerstone habit. It can trigger a domino of positive behaviours.
Habit #2: Learning via audio
Podcasts and audiobooks are the ideal companion to a good walk.
You get to learn new concepts, reinforce existing ones and maintain your motivation. All without having to dedicate extra time to it.
While I love reading, listening is a much easier habit to start and sustain. In addition to walking, you can combine it with many other activities that don’t require your full attention — such as exercising, commuting or doing chores.
Habit #3: Nurturing relationships
One of the key lessons I learned from Stephen Covey is the concept of the emotional bank account. You need to contribute to your relationships more than you take out of them.
I credit this habit with deepening and strengthening my closest relationships while improving my well-being.
So, another great use of your walking time is to pick up the phone and call your mom, dad or old pal from high school. I don’t think I skipped a single day talking to my parents from 2013 until today.
That little extra effort of calling first and checking in with people brings tremendous value for you personally and for the person on the other side of the line.
Don’t wait for them to act first. Pick up the phone. Make a good gesture. Say “I’m sorry”.
You will never regret it.
Habit #4: Running and outdoor sports
If you’re like me, the gym is an intimidating place.
You have to prepare special clothes, separate shoes and bring a towel. Then you have to work out next to super-fit people and wait in line for equipment and change your workout plans and travel to and from the gym…
No.
While I like going to the gym now, I found it much easier to start working out outside. Specifically, I started running the exact same course every day. Later, I started going to outdoor gyms where I could do pull-ups, dips, chin-ups and push-ups.
The proximity of the gym and low barriers are key here. The easier it is to start, the better. This is probably the toughest and most useful habit to create. And it will take a lot of time and effort.
So do those 7-minute workouts. Heck, even do the 1-minute workouts. But don’t quit. You will eventually find what works best and start to enjoy every workout.
You may even look forward to it.
Habit #5: Meditation
You won’t see a list of great habits without meditation in it.
It just works.
For me, meditation is training your mind to focus and putting your attention where it needs to be. How can this not increase performance?
Here’s a trivial but relevant example:
Remember how I wasted time on video games with my friends? One of them bought FIFA and started playing a ridiculous amount of time every day. I’d come by once every 2 weeks to catch up and get demolished at the game.
Little did he know I was meditating every day for 5–10 minutes. Within a couple of months, I went from losing badly to winning simply because I could maintain my focus for a longer time.
So it was easy to notice the benefits of meditation. My performance at work improved. My relationship improved. And so did my overall sense of happiness and calm.
Like the other habits, this one comes with its own set of challenges. My only advice is to download Calm or Headspace and get going, if you haven’t already.
Habit #6: Journaling throughout the day
Like meditation, journaling is also a commonly referenced good habit.
However, I’d advocate for the type of journaling where you have a notebook and/or text editor open all of the time.
On any given day, I’d churn out at least 2,000–3,000 words, excluding content that is meant to be published. It’s just my way of operating. Every task, every idea, every note gets written down. Decisions about work, life and the minutia of existence become easier when you lay out your thoughts on paper. Remember this:
Writing is clear thinking.
So if you want to improve your decision-making throughout the day, I can’t recommend ongoing journaling enough.
Final thoughts
I’d like to summarise this article and add some extra commentary.
First off, you can change your life by changing your habits. That’s because habits, to a large extent, are your life.
Second, changing your habits requires a flexible mindset. A positive belief system. The best way I know to acquire this is through information. Immerse yourself in philosophy and good literature every single day.
Third, developing habits is messy and hard. You have to experiment. You will likely drop the ball. And you have to pick it up again.
Until you start enjoying the positive behaviours in your life.
And they replace the negative ones completely.
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