In Defense of Summer Walker & the Black Woman’s Unimpeded Self-Preservation
“Like a lot of Black women, I have always had to invent the power my freedom requires.” — June Jordan
{I usually end my essays with an impactful quote by a Black woman, but I couldn’t think of a better way to start this one than with something as plainly clear as this from Miss June Jordan.}
No matter how trivial the circumstance, I’ll always run to the defense of a Black woman being herself or taking care of herself in the face of public derision. And while I’m fairly new to Summer Walker’s music, I’m more familiar with how Black women are expected to be both superhero and foot stool to our community (and on demand at that) than I’d like to be. The music artist’s rapid rise to fame from YouTube star to “Girls Need Love” sensualist is one we’ve seen before. But less common, Walker possesses an intolerance for the social and mental discomfort of off-stage performances. So after the release of her debut album and landing a headlining tour, the internet went from championing the unconventional R&B songstress to completely dehumanizing her in almost no time. You know, the typical “we stan a queen who…” turned “you owe us…” switcharoo — because Black women are only worthy of support and respect for as long they move in accordance with what everyone else wants.
After a few transparent admissions of her social anxiety, Summer Walker became a target for angry fans who were dissatisfied with her seeming lack of effort and enthusiasm while interacting with fans during the tour’s meet-and-greets. Many suggested she discontinue the meet-and-greets altogether if she couldn’t shake her awkward discomfort for physical touch while others suggested she quit touring completely because she wasn’t coming across (to them) like someone who enjoys or appreciates her new success. And the basis of these suggestions? Well, the fans’ “support” of course. I can’t understand why one feels their “support” (as it’s often called but, considering most don’t PURCHASE music from these artists, I’d all but refer to the few cents they get from those streaming services as such) of an artist entitles them to command the artist; whether it be in conversation, physical contact or whatever it is that creates his/her desire for connection. I understand tour tickets and meet-and-greet packages are non-streamable, and therefore must be purchased. But the general public needs to understand it’s still quite wrong to expect someone to handle so many conjectures and demands not natural to them for a measly…what? Two-hundred dollars? Fandom does not make your perspective on what things should be superior to anyone’s humanity.
Walker ultimately ended up apologetically quitting the tour saying she wouldn’t “be able to finish this tour because it doesn’t really coexist with my social anxiety and my introverted personality.” She continued, “I’m a person, I have feelings. I get tired, I get sad and it’s just a lot.” The internet, yet again, erupted with disapproving commentary surrounding her wasteful occupancy of a position they, themselves, wish to be in. Not everyone gets this treatment, though, and that’s what is so disturbing about this whole scenario. I personally equate the selective grace for artists to the selective morality of “the church” (but that’s another topic for another essay). People throw so much energy into explaining and justifying their reasons for rallying behind Kanye’s performance as Black Jesus (who, instead, should consider seeking the help he needs to come from under whatever has a hold of his mind these mind these days), yet none behind the Black woman who says, “my mind, heart and personality are rejecting this and I’m tailoring my dream to a size that doesn’t inflict a massive air of malaise on myself and doesn’t disappoint eager fans.” This isn’t just disturbing, it’s deeply saddening. It says that, even in the eyes of Black men and fellow Black women, there’s very little tolerance for Black women who exercise their freedom (even when it’s health related) outside of the confines of everyone else’s expectations, but that there’s plenty for those who aren’t Black and also women.
Are Black women not allowed to change their minds? Are we not allowed to try at all? Summer Walker went after a dream, chased it, achieved it and decided that it wasn’t the best fit for her. I’ll be the first to come clean and admit that I often half-ass my own attempts at creative success because there’s no room for uncertainty and I’m not quite sure what I want. But the truth is, we (humans in general) can’t know what we truly love, want and desire without first giving something a try. We (y’all on the internet) would know that if we actually thought “trying” involved more effort than typing out unimpressive opinions on our cell phone all day, but I digress. Frank Ocean doesn’t tour. We look forward to taking whatever 30-second verse Andre3000 gives us every once in a blue moon. And here, we have Summer who just wants to make her music and mind her business too. But she is the ingrate. She is the one undeserving of her success. Why?
I thought about what would happen if Beyoncé announced such news for herself. She’s a Black woman and I have total confidence that no one would pull this with her. I’m equally as confident that she would be met with the support of fans and non-fans. And many will argue the reason is because she’s already “paid her dues” or “given us so much.” I would argue that that’s, precisely, the problem. Black women don’t owe you shit. Black women do not have to pay dues to take ownership and control of their lives and livelihood. We certainly do not have to earn the freedom to seek happiness, peace and mental stability. And we for damn sure are not obligated to exist at the mercy of industry pressures. I’m saying that Black women in general, not just our favorite Black women or the Black women who we believe have transcended “deservingness,” should not be denied the simple, unharmful freedom to explore and set boundaries for self-preservation. Take the art or don’t. But keep your obtuse opinions, ill-informed critiques, character attacks, and “shoulda/woulda” commentary on the playground.
I came across a tweet from a respected musician on twitter this morning that set this essay in motion. The tweet implied that because Summer isn’t an icon who has “mastered” anything to warrant anxiety and/or “crumble” under pressure, this decision was “hard to justify” (because, remember now, Black women must have a justified reason to put themselves above their careers/fans/the opinions of everyone else). The level of asinine here is astonishing. Social anxiety, which is completely unrelated to personal work, creativity and mastery of craft for those of you who didn’t know, are not earned. Social Anxiety is not a condition that walks around seeking the best of the best for the purpose of harming their careers. The same foolish implication continued with mentioning newer artists’ anxiousness in quotations as if it’s some mythical sensation. I don’t remember anyone downplaying the importance and realness of mental health when Kid Cudi’s open letter was released in 2016, so it’s truly disappointing to see so many insensitive responses to this Black woman’s ownership of self from other Black people and industry peers. Zooming out a bit, there are far too many people with creative titles in their internet bios that whine and cry about the lack of support they receive and the negative impact of algorithms that took this as an opportunity to say how much differently they would handle the privilege of Walker’s success. These internet critics, with their 4,909 followers, who throw digital tantrums for NOT getting retweets and likes on their art with their haughty hypotheticals about what they’d do with the energy, criticism, expectations and general badgering of millions of people are pathetic, walking contradictions. I am an introverted (the real kind, not the cute internet type of introvert) Black woman living with both an anxiety disorder (that is especially present in social settings) and Major Depression and even I (having these things in common with Summer Walker) wouldn’t pretend to know what it’s like to experience what she has. I, therefore, would never part my lips or get to typing so fast about the proper way to handle her situation — and it is my firm belief that literally NO ONE else (but especially not Black men and wannabe artists) should either. We (everyone that is not Summer Walker) have no idea what it’s like to be her, and I hate stating the obvious but the point is truly that simple.
Whitney Houston and Ms. Lauryn Hill (two Supreme queens in my humble opinion) suffered at the hands of industry pressures and we witnessed it. One suffered a nervous breakdown, the other turned to drug abuse. And to be clear, I’m not suggesting that mainstream success was the sole reason for their respective circumstances. But these were two dynamic women who could have possibly saved themselves from their very public spirals had they just frankly said “well…fuck the public.” That’s not to insinuate all they had to do was decide to avoid addiction and distress (I know it’s not that easy, that’s literally why I’m writing this), but I just can’t help but wonder where they (and other Black women like them) would be now had they not been denied an untrampled blossoming. And we often wish things were better for Whitney. We wish things were better for Ms. Hill. But we don’t wish to never see more Black women in the same position. We’d be celebrating Summer Walker stopping while she’s ahead if we did. Is Summer (before a serious life-altering incident) not worthy of well wishes? Should we continue waiting for Black women to crumble into ruins before we begin wishing them well?
These people (and I’m talking about mainstream artists, generally — but Black women artists, specifically) are not machines. They’re human. Like you. How many days would you be able to withstand hundreds of thousands of folks consistently attacking your appearance, your hygiene, your talent, your energy, etc., before you felt its detrimental toll on your sanity and overall well-being? And then from your own people? I’m willing to bet most wouldn’t make it to a headlining tour before throwing in the towel and crying about “haters” and internet bullying. So put the gavels down, y’all. It’s almost alarming to see how so many of you really believe you know everything and will never make any miscalculations in judgement/planning (which, I assume, is why you sit on the internet delivering free advice — read “unwanted criticisms” — to everyone about everything?). But again, I digress…
I have so much respect for the freedom Summer Walker granted herself with this decision. Even if she changed her mind again and decided to headline her own tour in January, I’d applaud that shit too. Because Black women should absolutely, without argument and without question, be able to decide what works for them and/or change their mind about what works for them, in whatever state they’re in at any given moment.
May we (US, especially) never be so content with the fake shit that we lose respect for the real.
“I’m just a regular person, nothing more.” — Summer Walker
