Narcissist or Victim? How You Can Tell the Difference

Trina Harmon
Aug 23, 2017 · 2 min read

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that no matter what or how much you do, it’s never enough to make them happy, or happy for long?

People who fear intimacy, but still crave it deeply, will sometimes use how they’ve been victimized in their past, to persuade you to stay close to them and not dare abandon them after all they’ve been through. But with boundaries and clear communication, they can eventually heal and realize they are worthy of love without having to manipulate it. And most of all, they desire to heal, they long to be better for themselves, and for the people they care about the most.

A narcissistic person, however, does not desire to heal or be a better partner, because in their mind, there is nothing wrong with them. When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you are the source of their problem, and only you hold the solution to fix it for them, for now. You’re the villain and the hero. You’re the abuser and the rescuer. You’re the worst partner ever, but the only one they want. It’s easy to realize why someone who’s forced into all these roles, would begin to question themselves, their own self motivation, and their own worthiness.

In the end, no amount of empathy, communication, love, patience, or boundaries will ever have impact on a narcissist for long. Mostly because, they value control and security over intimacy and vulnerability. And for them, love from others isn’t safe, ever.

Unfortunately, the only way you can ever experience True Love in this kind of relationship, is to walk away.

To read or listen to more from Trina: Download #SoulNotes App — https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/soulnotes-trina-harmon/id1163372763?mt=8

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Trina Harmon
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